


sincerity is scary

by 3311



Series: Fluorescent Light [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Character Study, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-09-29 02:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 64,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17194418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3311/pseuds/3311
Summary: Gavin is sent to the Manfred Manor to investigate an Anti-Android attack.cw for mentions of suicide, drug use and self-harm[Markus/Simon is an established relationship in the background Gavin/Leo is the main ship]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a bit of a mess, but this is the lonely hill i have decided to die on. Thank you for reading lads.

Y O U    A R E    A L R E A D Y    D E A D

The words stared at Gavin, bright blue with gaudy lines of paint running down from every letter, marring the expensive wood of the front of the Manfred Manor. The windows had been replaced the same day they had been broken, the new woodwork would arrive soon from some place in Europe the name of which would have accents in the consonants and Gavin wouldn’t know how to pronounce.

Gavin looked up at the window (broken and replaced) of what he now knew to be one of the guest bedrooms and who would be looking out of it, but the biggest idiot in all of Detroit. Holding that ugly cat in his arms, his hair ruffled and still in his pajamas as he’d be just waking up at “11:00 am” Gavin said to no one –even when the RK900 was standing next to him– as he checked the time on his phone, it was early for Leo who could shamelessly sleep until 12, only to curl up in some window seat and nap at 3. The idiot waved, Gavin raised his hand to return the greeting but did not wave.

Gavin saw the leader of Jericho come into the frame of the window, say something to Leo, probably about some misdemeanor of cat-Leo by how human-Leo patted the cat’s head protectively saying something back as he walked away from the window. All of it, riveting, but at least Gavin could remember this android’s name.

Markus, or actually, he was supposed to remember this –he had be corrected by Anderson many times already– Markus Manfred, first Android to be officially adopted and to officially have a human surname, not that Gavin gave a fuck, but apparently lots of people did, some even took the time to break windows and spray-paint empty threats over it, only wasting valuable police time that could be better used investigating real crimes, but Markus MANFRED was important, too valuable. Allegedly.

Fowler had sent all Android Affairs teams, which didn’t mean much; Anderson and Connor had been the first and only team and were promptly swamped after the android revolution; which unfortunately prompted the creation of a second one. Why in the world did Fowler think giving Gavin an Android partner to work only on Android cases was a good idea was a question that haunted the whole precinct as they waited for him to snap.

Androids made Gavin uneasy, the more now that they were supposed to be more than the alexa his family had when he was a teenager, and those were already creepy enough.

Real people couldn’t scan your vital signs, or read all your records; your mother’s death certificate. Irrelevant, you weren’t even one year old when she died, you don’t remember, you don’t care. Your sister’s death certificate 1999- 2023, cause of death: suicide.  You definitely remember her. How you ran away from “summer camp” at 17 where your father sent you because no son of his was going to be a fag (his words as he smashed a bottle right in your face). They caught you, they took you back, many times. You don’t remember exactly how many but an android would know the exact number; an android could know you better than you knew yourself. They could take all your life in the literal blink of an eye.

Real people couldn’t know everything about you if you didn’t give it to them. Gavin gave nothing to anyone, except, arguably, for Tina, but they had been friends since middle school. Had recognized each other, protected each other, gone to prom together for fucks sake, but actually, Gavin hadn’t had to give anything to her, she simply had been there to see it all herself.

And she had seen everything alright, three days ago when she barged into his bathroom

“Gav!” Gavin barely had time to wonder if he heard Tina calling him when she entered his bathroom like it was a drug bust “Gavin!!”

“Tina! What the fuck!” Gavin shouted as the steam of the shower did its valiant best to protect his modesty “Can I have one fucking second here!”

“Gavin, whichever poor loser can put up with you will be very happy, you don’t have anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed about, but this is an emergency!” Tina said shoving a towel in his face “Jesus, I should have gotten you new towels for your birthday”

“Your emergency Tina?” Anything to drag her attention away from his ratty old towels, new ones were an unnecessary expense as long as the old ones held on

“Right! I can’t find Leo in the parking lot. I have been shaking a bag of salmon treats for 10 minutes like an idiot! It usually takes one second for him to emerge when it comes to salmon treats”

“So you were his fucking dealer all this time.” Gavin said getting out of the shower, old ratty towel he hoped Tina would forget about around his waist. “I can’t fucking believe you”

“Focus! he’s been kidnapped!” Tina stopped “or, so you understand me, he’s been fucking kidnapped!”

“Who would want to snatch that trashbag? He’s just not there, Tina”

“You knew? Did he have to stay at the vets? Unsupervised? All this time?” Tina said incredulous “You know he’ll murder someone there, no amount of salmon treats will prevent that”

“He’s not–“ Gavin cut off lowering his voice to a harsh whisper “must I remind you we don’t say the cursed S word in this house, the inmates will hear you.” Gavin paused, trying to hear any suspicious meowing from any of the 5 demons he shared his apartment with, “I gave that spoiled bastard away” He finally said, when the silence gave him the all clear

“To whomst the fuck?!” that Tina was shocked enough to use a word she hadn’t since highschool made his blood run cold

“Can I have my fucking second now?”

“Alright!” Tina said going out of the bathroom “So” she continued immediately from the other side of the door “Who the fuck was good enough to have one of your cats? Leo at that?”

“Leo was hardly my cat” Gavin said dressing up, he knew this day would come but he was not ready for it, that work had kept her busy and it had taken Tina 2 full weeks to realize the cat was gone had been a lucky fluke “he was a thankless stray gorging himself in ill gotten, illegal treats”

“Do remember it’s me you are talking to, Gavin! You wouldn’t give Rex away when she was stress peeing on your clothes every single day, you smelled like cat pee for weeks, and now you tell me you gave Leo away”

“Rex got over her anxiety issues, just as I said she would” Gavin said exiting the bathroom

“That’s exactly my point!” Tina insisted “the Pisslord is still here but you gave Leo away? Next thing I’ll know, you gave Cricket away too”

“You know that’s nonsense” Cricket had been his sister’s cat, if one cat was sentenced to endure him for life it was her “You are here forever, aren’t you old bat?” he said walking to the rocking chair –a rocking chair he had only gotten because Cricket liked them– and scratched the old cat’s head, gesturing for Tina to give him something with his other hand.

“Gavin, to whom?” she said holding his hand steady and dropping a few cat treats in it “The suspense is excruciating”

“Don’t you snitch to the others“ Gavin said to the old cat as she ate the treats from his hand “I just gave one spoiled bastard to another spoiled bastard, alright, no big deal” 

“You gave Leo… to Leo Manfred?”

 “You want anything?” he said walking into his kitchen hoping against hope to distract her “beer, soda?” she didn’t answer “oxygen tank? Tina?”

“Gavin?”

“Tina?”

“A soda would be lovely, thank you!” Tina said, picking up his stupidest cat, obviously her hostage now, before sitting at his small kitchen table.

“There we go” Gavin placed the soda before her, bracing himself

“Gavin?”

“Tina?”

“You gave Leo to–”

“Yes! I gave that bastard to the other bastard, no big deal, let’s change the subject”

 “I literally can’t think of anything else, I may not think of anything else for the rest of the year”

“Tin–” Gavin started in the tone that usually made people take a step back but Tina cut him off

“How did he look?” She asked

What little was left of Gavin’s soul died at that moment knowing Tina would never let it go

“I wouldn’t have handed the trashbag over if he looked unwell”

“So, he looked well”

“He looked sober” Gavin corrected

“That’s one thing less for you to worry about”

“What? When? I never was– I wasn’t– worried” Gavin grimaced when he said the word as if he had just swallowed a slug, disgusted at the thought that he would ever, in his life, do something as fucking useless and pointless as to worry about that damn idiot overdosing in some dingy drug house or managing to cross the wrong people and being stabbed to death in some murky back alley, with Leo being Leo it was truly a fucking miracle that hadn’t happened yet or–

“So,…” Tina interrupted his pointless train of thought

“So?”

“When are you seeing him again?” Tina said with chirpiness Gavin didn’t appreciate

“Never, if he stays in the straight and narrow and he fucking better”

“Gavin–”

Tina was prevented from saying anything more by Gavin’s ringtone, Fowler, never more opportune than in that moment, giving him the details of an anti-android incident at (because the world was nothing if not a cruel place) the Manfred Manor. When he came down to the parking lot the RK900 was already waiting for him, creepy. Always so fucking creepy.

To Gavin the last few months working with the RK900 which everyone called Nines even when, or perhaps because, he had named himself Cain -apparently a twisted sense of humor was the one thing Connor didn’t’ have- felt like a test.

 A test that he was at risk of failing every waking second, in no moment had he been closer to failing than now. Gavin was starting to suspect he was purposely being set to fail. Having to play nice with that pasty, wishy washy android the name of which he could never remember, and that apparently believed himself a 50’s housewife. Having to make small talk with the weird old man, having to be around Markus who was the most insufferable being Gavin had ever met. Gavin had never wanted to punch either a human or an android as badly as he wanted to deck Markus. Not punching Markus in the face should win him a medal.

“Hey, Lieutenant Anderson!” Leo said coming down the stairs that first day, a greeting that would have been even cheerful if the situation were different, there was an ugly cut over his brow, the glass of the broken guestroom window had rained right over him. The Androids were intact, of course.

“You know Lieutenant Anderson?” was Markus’ brilliant question,

“Oh,, uhm well, they have arrested me a few times” was Leo’s answer

Just how would someone like Leo know a Lieutenant? Maybe, just maybe, you should do the fucking math before putting someone on the spot in a room full of people, half of them well aware of this anonymous, almost hypothetical someone’s criminal record, but with half a brain cell to know not to bring it up.

Gavin had been aware of Leo for years before they talked to each other. This wasn’t something especial, everyone at the DPD knew Leo Manfred, one of their messier regulars. His father’s money and cockroach lawyers always making sure he got out, and when it came to Leo getting out, even before red-ice, it only meant there would be a next time, guarantied. Some officers kept their eyes on Leo to make sure they didn’t get hit by his mess (half of the time, literally. Leo liked to hurl stuff if he got the sliver of a chance, he had a pretty good arm), others kept watch over him to deal with the mess (half of the time, literally. Leo got his hands in many a filled paper cup). Gavin was neither, but his eyes kept looking up when Leo was brought in.

Leo was a tactile person, the type to use touch to show how he felt and that included his anger and displeasure, usually the first one to escalate a confrontation into a physical fight. The first to throw a punch or shove even when being short for a man his opponent would be much taller, and with far more bulk 9.9999999 (you get the idea) times out of 10. Leo was only asking for unnecessary trouble he couldn’t handle. It invariably ended with the idiot nursing a black eye, a cut lip, or a busted brow in a cell. If he was drunk enough he’d pick a second or third fight.  If he was high enough he’d air all his daddy issues,

“Do you think my dad would like me better if I were smarter?” he’d ask any drunk bum unfortunate enough to be locked up with him, if a drunk was not available he would talk to himself and as a consequence to everyone within earshot “Would he like me better if I could paint like him? If I were perfect like that fucking machine? He teaches him things, you know, to the fucking android, he spends hours teaching him, as if he understood. I could have understood, but he never even wanted to see me. He never wanted me, or loved me or even liked me. Do you think he would like me a bit better if I were smarter?” he’d loop on the same sentences, the same tired ideas, for hours.

The first time Gavin and Leo actually talked more than a few routine sentences, was in an interview room, where the fluorescent lights shone over them, harsh and unwelcoming just as they were supposed to be. Gavin was irritated (but when wasn’t he) and although he’d never say it aloud he was tired. Fowler had them working well overtime, and Gavin was more than determined to push through it, he couldn’t fall behind the pieces of plastic that could go on days, actually damn weeks on end without sleeping or eating or even taking a break. The androids at the time were only officers; nothing sophisticated enough to do the field work of a detective, yet… Gavin knew his time was running out, he had to make his value to the department obvious before a glorified inflatable doll could steal everything he had worked so hard for right from under him.  

Leo sat at the table, his eyes red-rimmed almost as if he had red eyeshadow on, it gave him a vulnerable I just cried my eyes out look but it was only a telltale sign of ongoing red-ice use.  Manfred darted nervous glances around the room as if something were about to jump on him, moving one of his legs up and down. His skin was sweaty and his hair stuck to his forehead.

“I thought the old man looked shitty but you really look like crap“  Leo laughed when Reed came into the room.

“Where you there to pick up when they busted you?” Gavin cut to the chase, not even sitting down. “Who were you going to pick up from?” He stood next to Leo, looming over him. Physical intimidation usually worked wonders with weaklings.

“Pick up what?” Leo laughed again, making a show of it, not intimidated in the slightest by Gavin’s 100% genuine bad cop act.

Gavin far too tired to even pretend to have the patience for a smartass crackhead, lunged towards him, pulling him up by the collar of his jacket.

“I don’t have time for your fucking nonsense, dipshit!” Gavin snarled

“Let go, asshole!”  Leo hissed back just as forcefully, his tone was defiant and his eyes were dark and angry, but when Leo looked up at him Gavin could almost see what Leo would be if he wasn’t high on that crap. An useless rich boy, wears an oversized cardigan and sunglasses indoors

“Ugh! you smell like crap too, gross!” Leo said grimacing and actually holding his breath. “Let go, before I seriously puke”

Gavin slammed him back down and sat in the as yet, but probably not for long, cockroachless chair next to him

“Well, princess, we are going to be here a while if you don’t start talking,” Gavin growled, taking off his jacket and realizing he did, in fact, smell, quite strongly at that. He had been marinating in his own sour sweat for almost three days (yet another thing Androids didn’t suffer from) while Leo as high out of his mind as he was still smelled like those ridiculously expensive soaps, the kind that that was 40 bucks a piece, absurdly wealthy people always seemed to smell good no matter what, even while sweating in a hot interview room after being busted in an alleged drug den.

“Look, I already told the pissed paterfamilias, I don’t know anything” Leo said, still moving his leg up and down, glancing nervously around the room again, towards the mirror, towards the door.

This was not normal for Leo, in all the time Gavin had watched him (as everyone in the department did, Detective Reed would like to remind the public) this nervous, jumpy fear was something new. Bottomless self-pity? Absolutely. Self-esteem issues? Bursting at the seams with them. Stubborn and idiotic bravado? All the fucking time. Fear? Not in all the years Leo had been a regular at the DPD. If Leo were easily frightened he’d probably be in far less trouble all the time.

“There’s no one there” Gavin’s voice lowered even when he didn’t mean it to “except for Anderson but he’s probably passed out by now or he would be chewing my fucking ears off for roughing you up” Gavin assured him, and then tried out a suspicion that had been bothering him for some time “Is there a mole in the DPD? Is that why you are all–“  it took Gavin a second to find the right words “weird and fidgety”

Leo didn’t speak, didn’t move, he only looked at Gavin, but Gavin knew his answer right there, and just as easily Leo knew he had given the answer away.

“I can’t- I can’t tell you who it is. I found out by accident really, is not like they tell me stuff” Leo looked down at his hands, played with the sleeves of his jacket and his voice lowered to a whisper, if Gavin weren’t as close as he was he wouldn’t hear it.

“Don’t be a fucking dumbass, dipshit. Are you expecting to win points with those bottom feeders? ” Gavin said in a low, angry whisper  “they won’t give you an honorary membership to their little fraternity if that’s what you are expecting, If they find out it leaked to you they’ll kill you”

“I don’t give a fuck about that” Leo said, but the fear creeping in his voice gave away the lie “I’m only afraid-“ his voice cracked, Leo looked down at his hands pulling on his sleeves again. Gavin who had no patience, waited patiently for Leo to speak again “they could- they could go after my dad instead” Leo said through gritted teeth after what seemed like a very long time “Everyone knows who he is”

He was choosing to protect his dad instead of his own hide. Odd, losers as balls deep in red-ice as Manfred was had left any type of loyalty far behind.

“I’ll send someone to your dad’s house. I’ll plant myself in front of it 24/7 if that’s what it takes. No one knows you know or you’d already be dead.” Gavin said offering a pen to him, asking Leo to trust him, really. There was a notepad in the table which was what Gavin expected Leo to use.

Leo almost managed to startle the seasoned detective when he took his hand, turned it over and scribbled a name in Gavin’s palm instead. Carefully and slowly, his penmanship less than perfect because his own hands were shaking, either because he needed a hit or because he was scared, even one of the best detectives in Detroit couldn’t tell. Gavin closed his fist over it when Leo was done; he’d known that fucking bastard was hiding something.

“There are others, but that’s the one I know about” Leo said obviously feeling he had just signed his death warrant as he wrote in Gavin’s palm.

“If there are others, how do you know I’m not one?” Gavin didn’t have enough tact to realize that was a very sinister thing to say under the circumstances, but Leo only laughed again, a genuine one this time, almost light.

“You are way too loud for a mole, everything about you is so loud, and you obviously love being a pig. Looks like a pig, stinks like a pig, of course is not a mole” Leo shrugged and even smiled looking down to try to hide it, the thought of Gavin being a mole apparently too amusing even when pondering the possibility of a gruesome death “You were serious about keeping an eye on my dad’s house, right?” He said growing somber again “Just in case?”

“Will go myself if I have to, unlike other idiots I never mess around with my job” Gavin said leaving the interview room as abruptly as he had entered it

“Wake up, Anderson! I was fucking right, I knew that fucker looked shifty” Reed said to the empty room where Lieutenant Anderson was supposed to be and wasn’t. _Fucking dammit Anderson_

“Where’s Anderson?” Fowler asked, suddenly materializing at the door at the worst time as bosses tend to do

“Taking a leak” Gavin lied. Fowler knew it was a lie, Gavin knew he knew it was a lie, but that’s what they did now, cover for Anderson. They had done so for almost two years, at first Gavin did it hoping the old Lieutenant would come back, the person Gavin had grudgingly admired, of Red Ice Task Force fame, the youngest Lieutenant in Detroit History. When he didn’t Gavin had no problem antagonizing and berating him to his face as he did all weak things, but covering up for his negligence had become a reflex, like muscle memory.

“Got anything from him?” Fowler said, gesturing towards Leo still sitting in the interview room

“Mole” Gavin replied, opening his hand for Fowler to read the name _'Robert Myers'_   “There are others”

Fowler frowned “We’ll discuss this tomorrow. Hopefully Lieutenant Anderson will be available by then” Fowler said with exhaustion in his voice “Good job, Detective. Go home, get some rest” he said as he walked away “shower!”

Through the two-way mirror Gavin saw Tina take Manfred back to his cell. Completely unprompted and quite unwelcome a line from a song his sister played often the autumn he turned 15 played in his mind, as clear as when he could hear it playing in the room next to his.

[“No one falls in love under fluorescent light”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HJBkVsUNps)

Damn right they didn’t, Gavin snapped back.  The light made Leo’s skin look papery and almost yellow, the red around his eyes looked like a rash, but when Leo glanced blindly at the mirror his brown eyes only looked lost and uncharacteristically afraid.

Gavin didn’t go home that night, or got some rest, or showered (something everyone in the police department was very sorry for the next day). He spent the night parked in front of the Manfred Manor, as he would for many weeks afterwards until the DPD mole infestation was dealt with, he sat in his car, listening to that old record of his sister’s on loop all night just like she used to, not taking his eyes away from the front door.

The exact same front door from where now, two years later, emerged Leo Manfred, at 11:50,  already late for his group therapy at the rehab clinic.

“He’s wearing a t-shirt” was the astute observation of the avant-garde RK900 Android standing next to Gavin,

“That he is” Gavin replied drily as they saw Leo walk towards the front gate

“The weather report said the highest temperature today would only reach 3 degrees Celsius, 37.4 degrees Fahrenheit” The android said, confusingly

“Did I ask?” Gavin missed the times when computers only talked to you when you ordered them to

“He was on red ice” was the android’s third statement

“Yeah, so?” Gavin barked back “Are you broken? Are you trying to drive me mad by reciting obvious facts while we stand here doing fucking nothing while my body and mind rot?”

If Nines were a human he would sigh in exasperation, but the android only kept looking at the detective with his ice cold eyes and the same impassive expression he always wore

“He was on red ice for years.” The android said in a cold even tone as if he were reading the information off a teleprompter “Any drug addiction will damage a human’s immunity system, and red-ice is especially damaging to the airways, particularly the lungs. With an impaired immunity system any common cold could become pneumonia. Pneumonia with weakened lungs?” the android turned his cold gaze from Gavin to Leo “Humans are really feeble, ephemeral things aren’t they?”

“Fuck!” Gavin spat as he took off his leather jacket “Hey, jerkface! Put this on before you freeze!” He said hurrying to reach Leo at the front gate

“I don’t want your stinky jacket! I have to be around people today talking about my stupid feelings, you know!” Leo said, sounding too exhausted for someone who had just woken up “I don’t need help driving them away”

“I don’t give a fuck! You are so stupid, who wears only a t-shirt in this fucking weather? Go back and get your own then”

“I don’t have the time, I’m already late!”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t sleep all the fucking morning you’d have the time”

“Fuck that, Gavin! I really gotta go!”

“Wait, I’ll go for it if your lazy ass can’t manage even that, don’t fucking move!” Gavin said running back to the house “Nines, don’t let him fucking move” Nines turned to look at Leo and Leo froze mid step, like a cat just caught doing something they know they shouldn’t.

As Gavin ran into the house he almost crashed into the pasty android (Sebastian? Sergei? Gavin was 70% sure it started with S)

“Leo should really take these” The housewife said, offering him something grey and knitted that looked warm enough

“Damn right he fucking should!” Gavin said grabbing them from the housewife’s hands quite rudely and running back out.

 “There, dumbass!” Gavin said throwing the stuff at Leo’s head “Now fuck off, you are fucking late!” he added as Leo put the cardigan and scarf on

 “Thanks!” Leo shouted as he flipped Gavin off almost running into the wall for doing so

“Fucking idiot” Gavin said walking back to his guarding place by the door, when the RK900 actually let out a small laugh, it was like when those alexas started laughing in the middle of the night, unnatural and unsettling.

“What?!” Gavin snapped at him

“It’s quite amusing, you are really good at remaining calm under pressure, but your heart rate always increases when he’s around”

“That’s because he stresses me the fuck out” Gavin said crossing his arms

“Your pupils dilate too, that’s not caused by stress”

“Shut– the fuck up”

“Would you like to know if his do too?” the android said not shutting up at all

“No!” was Gavin’s firm and immediate answer, automatically putting his hand up as if to fend the RK900 off “That’s fucking creepy, you really give me the creeps”

“Creepy?” the android hummed “Yes, I can see how it would be uncomfortable for a human, should I not monitor your vital signs then? I do so because Connor monitors Lieutenant Anderson and it seemed wise in our line of work, but I will stop if it makes you that uncomfortable”

“It does make me that fucking uncomfortable” Gavin growled

“Fine, I’ll stop if you stop referring to Connor and myself as plastic pricks or any other derogatory term, either in our out of our earshot” 

“No snooping on my records either?” Gavin negotiated, if he was going to do that sacrifice it had to be worth it

“Too late for that”

“Fuck!”

“But I can encrypt the information so only Connor and I can access it” the RK900 offered

“You can do that?”

“Naturally, I’m the most advanced android there is” the android said with arrogance Gavin didn’t find off-putting

“How will I know you are not monitoring me?” Gavin said suspiciously

“How will I know you won’t call us plastic pricks behind our backs?” the android retorted

“Fuck” Gavin replied giving the offer some thought “fine, you got a deal”

They shook hands over it as Markus excited the house, greeting them politely and walking towards the taxi that would take him to Jericho

“Insufferable” Nines said haughtily and with more ice than usual in his voice

“He’s a fucking prick” Gavin said loudly not caring if Markus heard

“Agreed” Nines replied coldly “Connor and I are by far superior”

“Agreed” Gavin said with a hyena-like grin, surprising himself because he really meant it

* * *

Fanart by the lovely [Vedefuck](https://vedefuck.tumblr.com/) over Tumblr [Here](https://vedefuck.tumblr.com/post/182349579045/) and [Here](https://leo-draw-some-shit.tumblr.com/post/183684658146/) (Thank you so much again! Your art brings me much joy on the daily!)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jus here for a laff my lads

Leo looked up at the grey sky and the light snowfall feeling even more exhausted than he had at noon, group therapy always seemed to take a lot out of him. He was taking a minute in the park near the Manor before returning to it. Since the attack there was a lot of movement there, many androids visited to check on Simon when Markus was out, some which didn’t like him or trust him one bit like the pretty girl with the copper red hair who always looked at him like he was something disgusting she had accidentally stepped on, or like she wanted nothing more than to gouge his eyes out with a spoon.

The night of the attack Leo had gone to sleep early as he did most days now, –he slept early and woke up late– only to be roused out of sleep few minutes later by a loud noise, or so he guessed, he didn’t remember the sound. When he opened his eyes he saw his cat hissing madly and glass all over his bed, his heart beat like that of cornered prey and something wet ran down his cheek, for a moment Leo wondered if he had been crying in his sleep (not unheard of) only to later discover it was blood.

Before he could understand what was happening Markus and Simon were in his room, and within minutes Lieutenant Anderson and Gavin arrived accompanied by the two androids that looked like twin brothers only different by the ominous air always surrounding the one with the cold eyes, like he was the kid from the omen, the later years.

Although everyone was a bit shaken nobody was really surprised. Markus had warned them something like it may happen, some type of foolish retaliation after the media made such a fuss about an android legally adopting the Manfred name. 

The detectives examined the taunting words mocking the We Are Alive slogan of the Android Movement written in bright blue paint, the exact same shade of android blood. They looked at the damage in the living room, the foyer and finally they went up to the guestroom Leo occupied since he had started outpatient treatment, while Leo and Simon retreated to the kitchen to get out of their way.

“Are you okay?” Leo asked, sitting on the granite kitchen counter in his pajamas and socks, his cat curled up on one of the kitchen chairs near him, as Simon moved easily cleaning surfaces that didn’t need it “You don’t have to do that right now, you know”

“It’s fine, and I’m fine, thank you” Simon replied with a calm smile “maybe it’s only some residue of my original programming but housework is always relaxing to me, I really do enjoy it. It’s just unfortunate” Simon continued with a slight frown “that something as harmless as your dad giving his name to Markus causes this type of reaction”

“It will be okay though” Leo said trying to put his own feelings about the name issue aside –feelings which didn’t have anything to do with Markus being an android but had all to do with Markus being Markus- to comfort Simon who always did everything he could to make things easier for him. Sharing a roof with his dad and Markus wouldn’t be going half as well if Simon wasn’t there too, “this was probably just kids wanting to mess stuff up, and the police is here now”

“I’m almost sorry we had to bother them with something like this.” Simon said as he poured water in the coffee maker “Connor, Cain and Lieutenant Anderson have been of much help around Jericho the last few months, I’m sure they will do everything in their power so this doesn’t happen again”

“And Gavin too…” Leo said softly “I know he can be a total dickhead sometimes, but he really is a good detective. I always feel safer when he’s around” Leo added with a little shrug “I did even when I was the one getting in trouble”

Simon had to wonder if Leo knew feeling safer when Gavin Reed was around was the exception and most definitely not the rule “I’m glad they sent him too, if that’s the case” Simon said diplomatically, opening the cabinet that held Carl’s extensive collection of coffee and tea.

“Use the really good one?” Leo said cheerfully “but not the decaf, Gavin will notice if we give him that” 

“Very well” Simon said containing a small chuckle “I’m sure Lieutenant Anderson and Detective Reed will need a bust after we brought them all the way here”

“Do androids really never get tired?” Leo asked curiously

“Well…” Simon started tilting his head when Cain and Gavin entered the kitchen

“Excuse us” Cain said, always as polite to Simon as he was rude to Markus “We’ll do a routine check if that’s alright, could you show me the backyard?”

“Yes, of course” Simon replied, walking out through the sliding door with the RK900

Leo watched Gavin move purposely around the kitchen, which was actually quite different from watching him do the same in a drug house as Leo was being dragged out in handcuffs.

“This place is fucking nuts” Gavin said as he looked around “must have been fun to be here as a little kid”

“Yeah, probably, I wouldn’t know.” Leo said trying to sound light but failing “I didn’t even see it until I was sixteen, nor my dad for that matter” he continued, knowing he was oversharing but wanting Gavin to know, staring down at the coffee dripping into the pot because it was a subject that made him uncomfortable “so I had never lived here, until now, obviously, but it’s better for a junkie in recovery not to be left unsupervised and all that junk”

Gavin’s firm steps had stopped and the kitchen had grown quiet. Leo fully expected to find himself alone, remembering too late Gavin didn’t like sob stories, but when he looked away from the coffee maker he found Gavin standing close to where he perched on the countertop, looking at him as if he were actually paying attention to what Leo had been saying. Leo’s heart beat faster all of a sudden and he hoped nothing would give that away, he didn’t want Gavin to think he was a coward that was still upset about a stupid broken window.

The lighting in the kitchen made Gavin’s scar look painfully stark as if it were a recent wound. Leo’s hand rose before he even realized because he wanted to reach out and touch it, ask how he had gotten it, or if it ever hurt him. Leo’s motto seemed to be if you don’t think and just do it, it will work out. It usually did not work out.

“There’s coffee if you want some” Leo said, catching himself and changing course for the cabinet instead of Gavin’s face, getting a mug and sliding it towards the detective over the counter, taking a teaspoon and playing with it so his hands would be occupied.

Gavin looked at both the mug and the pot with dark suspicion, as if he knew they had committed an unspeakable crime

“I didn’t spit in it, Gavin” Leo said, waiting for Gavin to pour himself some and drink from his mug before adding “Or maybe I did”

Gavin scoffed “You didn’t. I can tell when you lie, dumbass”

“That’s bullshit!” Leo said, Gavin only shrugged taking another sip from his mug

“Alright, game on! True or false:” Leo pushed on Gavin’s hip with his foot gently before he could hold himself back or even registered what he was doing.

When Leo was small he had hurt himself often because he just kept doing that, reaching out to touch things that made him curious or he liked; the blue flames of the stove, poison ivy, a beached jellyfish, his mom had caught him just in time before he could mess up his hand with a fan. The first time he had reached out for Gavin in the interview room hadn’t harmed him, and so his ‘don’t think just do’ brain had green lighted the detective as something that was okay to touch. Leo kept doing it, many times without even noticing right away.

“hm, I’ll make it easy, my favourite colour is blue” Leo said playfully

“I’m working, Manfred” Gavin replied drily

“I knew you were full of shit!” Leo huffed

 “False” Gavin said after a beat not being able to let go of the challenge

“Correct, it’s green actually” Leo replied buoyantly, still fidgeting with the teaspoon in his hands “I was expelled from high school for fighting” was Leo’s second lie

 “Shockingly.” Gavin said flatly “False”

“Correct, I was only suspended twice.” Leo said proudly, “hm, something harder” Leo said looking around the kitchen “Oh, I know! I used to do figure skating, was pretty good at it actually”

Gavin made a sound with his throat that sounded almost amused “True”

“Get out! You gotta be bluffing!”

“You have a tell any idiot would notice” Gavin said walking toward the chair with the sleeping cat and scratching his fluffy head “worst fucking liar I have ever seen”

Before Leo could argue any further Gavin stepped back distractedly bumping against Simon who had just come back from the backyard. It was barely anything, not even Gavin would take offence in it, if it weren’t because Simon was an android.

“Get outta my way, fucking piece of trash” Gavin snapped at him

“What the hell!” Leo said harshly before Simon could even reply “Don’t be such a dick, asshole! Don’t talk to him like that!”

“Why the fuck not? They are nothing; they are fucking machines replacing us all,” Gavin growled walking all the way back to where Leo was sitting on the counter “they are just fucking useless plastic–”

“They aren’t! If you say that kind of crap how are you different from the fuckers that did all this stupid shit today?” Leo said firmly “Listen, I don’t really get it either, but Simon helps me with stuff all the time. He made the coffee you are drinking so you could at least, like, try not be such a fucking douchebag!” Leo pushed on him again for emphasis, only slightly harder than he had done before.

Anyone else would put as much distance as possible between the detective and themselves as soon as they saw the dark look Gavin returned but Leo was never afraid when he looked into Gavin’s eyes, he held his gaze without a hint of apprehension or uneasiness, only angry and somewhat hurt annoyance.

“Fucking–“ Gavin growled sounding more frustrated than anything else, looking from Simon back to Leo again “Nines, get a move on we have wasted enough time in this shit!” he shouted throwing the rest of his coffee down the drain “Phck!” he spat  as he walked out of the kitchen,  in the way he did when he was really annoyed that sounded almost like a sneeze.

Leo felt strangely sad seeing the wasted coffee in the sink “Sorry Simon, don’t mind the crap he says, he really can be such a dick–” Leo said turning to look at Simon, noticing the RK900 standing by the sliding door staring at him.  The android looked at Leo for much longer than it was comfortable, when it came to the android with the grey eyes that meant anything longer than five seconds. Simon turned around to see what had distracted him

“Is there anything you need?” the PL600 asked, but the RK900 didn’t take his eyes off of Leo, didn’t even blink

“Uhm, did I… do…. anything?” Leo said, slowly sliding off the counter after a moment, an action that only made the RK900’s face twitch as if he were holding back a smile

“Simon?” Leo said with cautious alarm taking a step towards the PL600

“It’s okay” Simon assured him “probably” he added, which did nothing to clear Leo’s apprehension

“Pardon me” The RK900 said after another suspenseful minute, finally looking away from Leo, directing a polite nod toward Simon as he exited the kitchen. It still kept Leo up at night wondering what that had meant, not that he was sleeping much anyway. 

 

That morning before group therapy he had gotten out of bed already feeling sluggish, as he did so many days now. ‘Recovery is not a steady, upward process you’ll have good days and bad days’ that’s what they told you at rehab and it was particularly true when it came to red-ice. The good days were few and the bad days were heavy, and Leo only felt more and more sick of it all.

He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, running his hand through his hair, trying to fix it a bit knowing it wouldn’t work; that’s why he liked to wear beanies, without them his hair fluffed up in all directions just like his mom’s had.

His mom was a taxidermist, but not the type to stuff foxes and owls for hotels and resorts, her work had been shown in art galleries just like his dad’s was. Complex and beautiful miniature scenes, a game of clue with mice in full roaring 20’s attire, an ominous gothic story about a forgotten corpse at the bottom of a lake, with a frog as the main character, stuff like that. That flare of creativity had been what had drawn Carl Manfred to her even when he was 22 years her senior, and it was no secret that she had been completely star struck having admired him and avidly followed his career since she was in high school. 

They had hooked up, had lots of fun and then parted ways, she had gifted him the first animal she had ever stuffed, it was an abomination and she was glad to be rid of it, but hadn’t had the heart to just throw it away.

Three months later she had contacted Carl Manfred again, only to let him know she was pregnant, she wasn’t asking for anything, she just thought he should know she had decided to keep the baby. Carl Manfred had no problem whatsoever with giving her money for the child, he set it all up so that would be done and then didn’t think much of it, actually, didn’t think of it at all.

Carl Manfred’s assistant was tasked with transferring an amount to his mom’s account every month, just one inconsequential quantity in a long list, together with the bills for new brushes and paint, utilities, donations to charity, auctions and art purchases. But even without his dad’s money they would have lived quite comfortably, his mom’s work was very sought after, even doing custom pieces for rich people that wanted recreations of family pictures with dead animals for some reason, she and Leo would sit for hours laughing over if this or that person should be a budgie, a toad, or a mouse. The memory of those days was something that still comforted him, remembering how he used to fall asleep, aware of his mom’s presence in the room when she checked on him because of the smell of her perfume.  

His mom always smelled like Oud & Bergamot by Jo Malone, she had a road rage problem, could hurl her iced coffee out of any kind of moving vehicle with precision snipers would envy, and she possessed a vocabulary a sailor could only dream about. Leo’s first word had been fuck because of this, or it may have been duck, but probably not. She never brushed her hair, which was nor curly, nor straight, in movies that gave girls an artless cloud of hair. His mom’s was a fizzy mess, just like everything she owned, but she always knew where everything was in her magpie’s nest. She loved art (which Leo absolutely didn’t) and she loved music (which Leo loved too).

No matter what she always picked him up from school on time before he could walk home by himself, and when he was old enough, she always made time so they could have dinner together. She went to all his plays and skating competitions and when his anger started to get the better of him, she always went to pick him up at the police station. Then they would talk all night, trying to figure out what they could do, what doctor to see next, so Leo would feel less on edge.  He’d say he was sorry (and he really was) and she’d hug him and tell him they’d figure it out.

It was around this time that she had fallen ill, and Leo’s anger mixed with sickening fear, but at least they had had time to say goodbye, not everyone was as lucky as that. They never talked about Carl Manfred then, they never did although Leo had always carried his name and his mom kept so many books about him in their bookshelves with beautiful high quality prints of his pieces, books which Leo never touched.

Carl Manfred was an abstract concept, a name Leo had written at 13 so it would be filtered out of the social media he used. They talked practicalities about the money he sent, that’s how much Carl Manfred figured in their lives until his mom was gone. That’s when the water bottles filled with vodka started, and Leo might have worked out his grief just fine if he hadn’t had the brilliant idea of going to a father he had never met, searching for comfort he wouldn’t get.

Carl Manfred didn’t know what to do with a teenage son that appeared unexpectedly out of nowhere. He wasn’t cut to be a father, and what was worse he had no interest in being one, he hadn’t been interested when he was younger, he definitely was not interested now. He set Leo up in an apartment, his assistant was now tasked with transferring money to Leo’s school and for all his bills, but he never made any effort to talk to him or get to know him. They would have lunch sometimes and the awkward silences only grew longer.

Leo was not a person who could function when faced with deep-seated loneliness. He was already drinking, the razor blades had made an appearance in his expensive lonely luxury apartment, he had quite a lot of money and quite a lot of rage, and he hated everyone but most of all himself. Red-ice was the next natural step.

Then, as if to mock him, enter Markus, timing himself just right, when Carl’s accident had more or less trapped him into being old and wise. Leo had been trying to crack that code for years. As a little kid he wondered why his father didn’t want him, when he met him, he could more or less make peace with it. Carl Manfred just wasn’t the father type; Leo could understand that, he didn’t think he’d be the father type himself.

Once Markus was in the picture and Carl was so patient and caring, interested in teaching him, making a refined and educated, musically trained man out of a glorified vacuum cleaner, Leo had come to the realization the problem must have been himself all along. But Markus wasn’t real, he couldn’t feel pain, or sadness like Leo could, or the empty hollowness that rippled through your chest when you were thrown away by the person you needed to love you the most.

It had hurt when Markus was only a machine, now that it turned out Markus was just as alive as Leo was, if anything it hurt more. It felt like a slap every time Markus called Carl ‘dad’. Leo had wanted that dad for years but he fell short of what Carl Manfred wanted in a son, Leo just wasn’t enough.

As if sensing Leo was getting tangled up in his thoughts his cat pawed at him.

“Hey, want me to carry you?” Leo said picking the cat up, the ball of smoke always seemed to know when Leo was having one of the heavy days, the cat would follow him around the house, sit next to him, not looking at him, but around them with his bright orange eyes as if he were guarding him from things Leo couldn’t see.

With his cat purring loudly against his neck Leo walked to the window, which he tried not to do too often, but knowing Gavin was only a few feet away never failed to cheer him up a bit, even if the asshole could be such an absolute jerk. Leo waved at him almost expecting Gavin to ignore him since they hadn’t really talked after their spat in the kitchen, but Gavin actually raised his hand to return his greeting. 

“Leo, can we talk for a minute” Markus said, knocking on his door and walking in

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?” Leo scratched his cat’s head to calm his anxiety as he walked away from the window

“I only wanted to apologize for the other day, it wasn’t my intention to put you on the spot like that, I was just–“

“Don’t sweat it” Leo cut him off “Everyone knew about my arrests anyway, the whole city knows. It’s not like it’s a secret”

All they seemed to do since Leo moved into the Manor was apologize to each other, it never made things less awkward between them. Leo couldn’t help but feel tense and self-conscious around Markus, as if he were being shown what he should, but wasn’t and would never be, while Markus just as tense, kept his guard up as if Leo were something dangerous, like a venomous snake that had to be handled with caution and kept at a safe distance, and preferably contained, away from everything you loved.

Markus nodded and walked to the door, “One more thing–“ he said hesitating for a moment “Thank you, for whatever you said to Detective Reed. Simon didn’t give me the details, but when I mentioned Detective Reed had been sounding less like the founder of an anti-android group than usual he said it must be because of you”

“Oh! I don’t think that’s it” Leo replied “it’s probably because they actually get along, that android detective, Nines, is it? and Gavin, I mean”

“They do?” Markus could hardly imagine a worse alliance

“They really do, if Gavin listens to anyone at all it wouldn’t be me” Leo said lightly

“Regardless, thank you for putting a word in”

“I mean, sure, for all is worth” Leo said with an easy shrug “but Simon really got the wrong idea”

“Leo” Simon called peeking into the room “don’t forget you have group therapy today”

“Oh, shit!” Leo had very much forgotten “What time is it?”

“11:30”

“Shit, shit” Leo said  letting his cat jump from his arms to the bed “shit, shit, shit, shit” he stumbled into the bathroom hurriedly grabbing his jeans and only a t-shirt

“I hope that’s not all he’s thinking of wearing” Simon said with a small frown

“You spoil him” Markus said with a fond smile as he exited and closed the door to Leo’s room

“I like having people to spoil” Simon said before kissing him sweetly.

“I do hate to leave you alone with him in the house,” Markus said seriously after a moment “I’ll try to come home as quickly as I can”

“I thought we were past this” Simon said softly “Your dad is here too and your brother has been a good friend to me, he’s not the person he was when you met him”

Simon and Leo got along because they actually had a lot in common. They both knew what it was to feel easily replaced, obsolete and put aside in favor of something similar that performed much better, how it felt to be quite unimportant and insignificant, while Markus had no experience with that sort of situation and Simon was only glad for it. Before deviating the PL600 had seen his fair share of siblings, many as different and as clashing as Markus and Leo were, and he had complete trust in that the Manfred brothers would learn to be better and fairer to each other.

“I didn’t mean Leo” Markus said although he still frowned slightly whenever Simon called him his brother. “I meant Detective Reed”

Simon chuckled softly at that “You always worry too much, but you really don’t have to worry about him, between Cain and your brother, Detective Reed is being watched”

“Leo said they get along, Cain and the detective”

“They really do” Simon echoed Leo’s assessment

“I wonder why that doesn’t make me feel any better”  Markus replied feeling like a sea captain that sees dark storm clouds ahead while his entire crew is down with a devastating stomach bug.

 

A few hours later Leo stood in the park, breathing in the cold air, warm in the cardigan and scarf Gavin had thrown at him. With his hands in his pockets he fidgeted with the chip he had just gotten. Leo closed his eyes, feeling the snow falling on his face, he didn’t see him approaching but Leo would recognize those steady, heavy steps anywhere.

 “What the fuck are you doing?” Gavin barked

“Literally just standing here, officer” Leo said opening his eyes and looking up at the detective

“Go the fuck home, Manfred”

“Can you fucking chill for a second, jeez!” Leo said, feeling too drained to put any real bite behind his words “I just want to enjoy the snow for a moment. Where are you going anyway, don’t you have to… you know… uhm, stay…?”

“I have to check in at the station so I’m done being a goddamn nanny for the day” Gavin said, Leo felt uneasy at that and it may have shown on his face because Gavin added “Nines is over there making sure your dad and that–“

“Simon” Leo interjected

“And– Simon–  are safe, and you were told you should go straight home from the clinic until we said otherwise”

“What for though?” Leo argued “Even the most rabid of those anti-android nuts wouldn’t do anything to a human”

“It’s the protocol; follow the rules for once instead of being a fucking pain” Gavin replied flatly

“I am on my way there” Leo retorted, keeping his hands in his pockets “only walking kinda slowly”

“Because of the damn snow?”

“Yeah” Leo replied simply, looking up at the sky again. Gavin looked up too because why the fuck not and looking up was less awkward than looking anywhere else he might have looked at.

“It’s nice, right?” Leo said after a few minutes “My mom and I used to do this all the time”

“Freeze your asses off?”

“Yeah!  It was really fun, she’d take me to the park when it snowed, especially if I was feeling a bit down” Leo said resuming his walk towards home

“So, what the fuck is it?” Gavin asked walking one or two steps behind him

“What’s what?” Leo said casually

“Whatever are you sulking about?”

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated

“Spill it” Gavin said, not unkindly

“It’s just– “ Leo started, taking the green chip out of his pocket “I got my tenth month chip today, it doesn’t feel that different from when I got the first, it feels kinda stupid, pointless”

“You know it isn’t”

“It sure feels like it. I still get cravings almost as bad as the first month, there are days when I still get withdrawal especially at night, last night was really fucking bad” Leo said with an exhausted sigh as he rubbed the nape of his neck “And I’m tired all the time, and I’m fucking sick of feeling tired, and I’m fucking tired of talking about what I feel”

“One day at a time, Manfred” Gavin said seriously “If that’s too much focus only on the next hour, if that’s too much focus on the next minute, as small a fraction as you need. Red-ice is a bitch to get clean of, but you are halfway there, you are doing a fucking great job” Gavin said reaching out to give Leo a pat on the shoulder, trying to imitate the way Tina did it when one of the rookies managed to do something near competent.

That simple gesture seemed to make Leo’s steps lighter, but when Gavin looked at him tears were running down his face

“Fuck, I’m such a fucking crybaby lately” Leo said wiping the tears off his face with his hand, but he was not embarrassed about them and didn’t try to hide them

Gavin scoffed “You have always been a fucking crybaby”

“Better than being a massive a-hole, dickhead” Leo said bumping playfully against the detective

“You are going to get tears on the leather, dumbass” Gavin said pushing on Leo’s shoulder lightly, Leo stepped away laughing, and kept walking with his slight dancer’s gait, doing unnecessary things like balancing on the edge of the walking path, or needlessly jumping a bit whenever there was a step up.

Once they approached the steps of the Manfred Manor with the cold eyes of the RK900 watching them Gavin turned around to leave, not bothering to say any sort of goodbye 

“Gavin, wait!” Leo called after him, and Gavin actually waited

“Do you want it?” Leo said “The chip I mean. Some people in my group give theirs to the ones that have helped them. I put the first on mom’s gravestone, gave the 90 days one to Simon, the rest I just gave to Leo to play, he loves playing air hockey with them” Leo opened his hand with the chip in it

“You didn’t change that bastard’s name?” Gavin said looking at it

“What for? It’s his name, and it’s a cool one”  Leo said buoyantly “plus he already has a name tag and everything”

“What if I swap this for the eleventh month one when you get that?” Gavin said taking the chip from Leo’s hand

“Alright! Sure, that’s cool” Leo said with a delighted laugh “See you later, right?” he added walking backwards towards the front door

“It’s my job to be here, so yeah” Gavin said crossing his arms, Leo only smiled as he turned to walk into the house

“Hey, Nines!” Leo greeted

“Good evening” Nines replied “Welcome back, Detective Reed” he added when Leo had gone inside, his face as still as a frozen lake but his voice had an overt amused tone “Should I tell the station you are running late? I’m sure they will understand you had to escort Mr. Manfred back home” 

“Don’t you fucking dare” Gavin spat walking away, making sure to put the chip in his pocket so he wouldn’t lose it.

“Gladly” Nines replied, and if he still had had his LED it would be shining yellow as he transmitted the message to Sophie the ST300 at the DPD’s reception.

 

 

* * *

 [NOTE :: bc i have no idea how to attach a link in the actual notes]  
i cry daily because they didn't give [Paul Spera's fluffy hair ](https://pin.it/s4sk66vgmmmszs)to Leo


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me sticking words together with duct tape: do you think a depressed person could make dis?!  
> psa: don’t do drugs, and thanks for reading lads

Gavin put his feet up on his desk taking an undeserved break from the paperwork he had only half started, taking Leo’s chip out from his pocket. Leo said the people in his group gave theirs to those who had helped them, but if anything, Gavin still owed Leo one.

A few months after the DPD dealt with its mole problem, the thoughts circling in Gavin’s mind centered on the rumors about Cyberlife having successfully developed their first android detective, which would be soon ready for its release.

There had been some weirdness brewing around androids for a while, which wasn’t Gavin’s fucking problem. He hadn’t paid attention at all at first, those pieces of cheap plastic overheating and malfunctioning, what was new? It served right to all those fucking morons who thought androids could take care of everything. Leaving heavy machinery and road and air traffic safety to their Windows 95 brains, leaving up to them surgeries (that went badly), people left their children fully in their hands when Gavin wouldn’t trust them to feed his cats.

But the severity of the cases seemed to be increasing and with that Fowler had gotten a few emails from Cyberlife; offering their complete support. It was suddenly clear to Gavin that it'd only take one more android to malfunction in a way that made the news, for the plastic detective (batteries included) to be sent to them, any publicity was good publicity to a shoddy corporation like Cyberlife.

This made him reckless, he chased after an impossible bust, using his days off to investigate possible leads to red-ice gangs. That’s what he was doing that night, when he should have been doing anything else; he was risking his neck alone in an abandoned warehouse, trying to find a way to get to the second floor bypassing the old elevator which would alert whoever was there to his presence immediately, with his gun in his shoulder holster, hidden by his jacket, and his impatience which made him stupid, he didn’t realize the other man was there until he was caught in a chokehold.

The man had several inches on Gavin, and was just as strong because Gavin would never admit he was stronger. Gavin hit him with his elbow. The fucker didn’t even feel it; if he was on red ice he wouldn’t feel anything even if his arm were to be chopped off. Gavin was being dragged back, his vision was starting to black out, but he wasn’t about to be bested by some fucking crackhead, this was street fight 101 bullshit, but before he could get out of it and mess the bastard up, Gavin saw chips of green glass rain on the floor and he was let go.

Gavin stepped away ready to give him a real fight. The man looked like a predator, his body was muscular, slick and fast, his hair cropped really short and bleached to a disgusting puke yellow, then Gavin’s eyes looked past him to the reason why he had been released.

“What the fuck, Leo!” the fucker shouted, Leo had broken a bottle right on his head which was nothing more than a mild annoyance to the douchebag, but he had let go to protect his back. Leo still held on to the neck of the broken bottle like to a knife.

“Why don’t you try that when he can fight you back, motherfucker!” Leo hissed to the much taller, bigger man, in the way that was definitely angry and meant to be threatening but wasn’t really that Leo had

“What do you care, you know this bitch?” the douche said pointing at the guy that was definitely not a detective. Leo’s eyes locked on Gavin’s and he knew Leo was asking him to stand down. When in Rome… presumably.

“None of your business” Leo spat

“It is my bloody business, they said to keep an eye out for interesting newcomers, there’s good dough in it if you sniff out someone interesting enough”

“Go sniff someone else then” Leo snarled “I told him to come. He’s gotten red from me a few times” This was only half a lie, as Gavin had indeed confiscated red-ice from Leo a few times.

“I’d say, it looks to me like you have been giving him more than that with the way you are making eyes at him” 

“Fuck off my shit, Kyle” Leo replied angrily

“There, there, don’t be cross, love” Kyle said trying to touch Leo’s face but Leo swatted his hand away “I didn’t mean to hurt your little pet”

Leo huffed, throwing the remains of the bottle away, walking to Gavin and grabbing his wrist, pulling him into the shabby, piss smelling elevator

“Going up?” Kyle said unpleasantly, stopping the door from closing and walking in.

Leo didn’t move but he squeezed Gavin’s wrist a bit tighter, probably as a reminder to keep low. The douche would have spoken and Gavin would have shot him in the face right there if the elevator didn’t whir all the way up. The machine had not seen any type of upkeep in three decades, and its dying cries were loud and disturbing as it jerked every few seconds threatening to give up the harrowing fight of trying to go up one floor. The douche looked at Gavin with a mocking grin as if he were waiting for him to be unnerved by it. Gavin scoffed; that was enough to wipe the smile off his face, the elevator doors opening prevented any sort of further development in the mandatory alpha male show down.

If the elevator smelled like piss, the floor smelled like a public bathroom that has been forgotten and left to its own devices, piss and shit and every other bodily fluid, present and festering in the uncomfortable warmth, the place was dark except for neon and LED lights in different colors, someone’s pointless attempt to brighten the dismal atmosphere, like confetti sprinkled over dog shit. Gavin wondered if there was something wrong with his eyes, only to realize the general blur over the scene was caused by smoke which could go nowhere, since all the windows were bricked shut.

There was loud electronic music playing but not the kind for dancing, it was slow and had a repetitive, dreamy quality to it. All the people in the warehouse floor, mostly men, either sitting or standing were smoking something and those who weren’t were passed out, by the general stench some could be dead.

Gavin could recognize the grassy smell of weed, and those ridiculous sickening sweet flavored vapes (neither illegal) and underneath all of it the weird hot gravel stink of red-ice which they were meant to hide.  Just stepping out of the elevator made him feel lightheaded; a mixture of the absurd music, the stench, the weird humid warmth, and the lack of oxygen. When his eyes got used to the neon dark, he noticed there were used condoms and needles near the base of the wall, kicking them out of the way was their idea of cleaning up. 

Leo, still grabbing his wrist, led him to a heap of stained sheets and blankets and pillows set more or less in a way that resembled a couch if you were a surrealist painter, maybe. Leo let go of him then and plopped down taking a joint out of his pocket, not being stupid enough to use red-ice in front of a cop. Gavin sat down too, a few silverfish bugs ran out from under the mess as he did so; the sheets were weirdly moist and stank like moldy, dirty laundry. The full set almost made his skin crawl and squeamish was not a word anyone would use to describe Gavin Reed in the slightest.

“Oh, fuck” Leo said, not getting anything from his busted lighter, “Got a light?”

“You look like shit” Gavin said throwing his lighter at Leo. He didn’t even try to catch it; it just fell next to him in the disgusting blanket. Leo was sweaty and his skin was sallow, his hands shook as he tried to light up the joint. 

“Jeez! Thank you so much Leo, you really did me a solid there” Leo said taking a deep drag on it “Just chill, okay” Leo continued puffing out the thick smoke “you already called enough attention to yourself, honestly what the fuck are they thinking letting you– you know, too loud”

Gavin didn’t tell him Captain Fowler would agree with him completely and this had been his own arrogant stupidity mixed with some despair too. He had been sent undercover in his early 30’s, got most of his scars that way, he was far too hotheaded for it, and had been relocated.

Gavin looked beyond Leo and there was Kyle, jittery and unstable, still staring at them.

“Don’t worry, he’s an idiot” Leo said “really creeps me out sometimes, though. I can’t make out with anyone here or he’ll just stare”

 “Why the hell would you come to this sort of place?” Gavin asked, Leo was a jerk but this kind of sordid filth didn’t suit him

Leo shrugged “I just– I don’t like to be alone, and I don’t have anywhere else to go, I guess” Leo huffed his sentence out with the shadow of a small self deprecating laugh.

They sat there with the music playing and the neon lights for a few minutes while Leo smoked, doing O’s with the smoke or letting it out of his mouth in a puffy little cloud only to breath it back in. When he did that he smiled at Gavin and said “That’s called a ghost” and Gavin realized Leo liked to be playful, do silly, unnecessary things just because they entertained him, he had never been able to see that at the DPD.

“Hey, wanna do a shotgun?” Leo said suddenly, brightening up “It’s nothing too bad, nothing illegal, not red-ice or anything, only weed. I put the joint backwards in my mouth and blow the smoke to yours. It’s fun!” Leo ranted a little too fast and sounding scattered, “Or if that’s too much I’ll just do a fake shotgun, you know, I take a hit, lean into you and you inhale the smoke in. I won’t kiss you, I’ll only let the smoke out for you” Leo said as if the possibility of a kiss were the only thing that’d hold Gavin back

“I’m not getting fucking high with you, much less breathing in your secondhand smoke”

“You are not fun!” Leo complained “and you should cultivate your creed as a junkie”

“Fine” Gavin agreed after a pause. After all, Leo was right, he was too conspicuous otherwise, there were a few eyes on him already, and he wasn’t about to go down in this cesspool “how do I do the damn secondhand smoke crap” he said picking the lesser evil, he didn’t need to be completely impaired while in the fucking belly of the damn viper’s nest.

“Cool!” Leo said cheering up “So, I’ll take a hit and lean in, let the smoke out of my mouth and you inhale it, okay?” Leo scooted a bit closer “And try to look like you have done it before”

Gavin turned his body to face Leo but didn’t move any closer and Leo laughed. Gavin would swallow rusted razors before admitting he liked that lighthearted laugh, the one that didn’t have any traces of red-ice in it.

“You need to be closer than that, almost as if we were going to kiss, like this” Leo leaned in, so close Gavin could feel the warmth of Leo’s breath on his face “but don’t worry, I won’t kiss you” Leo said with a smile. Gavin tried to quiet the voice in his head that said he wouldn’t mind it at all if Leo were to kiss him. He was already going delusional from the fumes.

“Ready?” Leo said turning to the side to take a hit and leaning in, closing his eyes and opening his mouth to let the smoke out. Gavin inhaled the smoke which the lights colored a ghostly neon blue in a breathless gasp, keeping his eyes open to look at Leo even when it was awkward because he was so close.

“Fun, right!” Leo said opening his eyes and leaning back

Gavin blew the smoke out “You need to find other hobbies” he said, wishing he could grab Leo and drop his dumb ass in rehab.

Someone called Leo’s name, and he turned to look at them. There was a small group of girls around Leo’s age, sitting like sickly birds in another disgusting nest, they looked disheveled and unwell just like Leo did, their makeup smudged and running down their faces, their hair was dirty and tangled.

“Wait a sec, I’ll be right back” Leo left him and walked towards them, repeating the smoke trick with one of the girls, but they closed the distance and kissed lightly, the girl giggled and Leo smiled fondly at her.

“Don’t go getting too hard yet” Kyle said, walking up to Gavin with a mocking grin “Couldn’t get that kiss could you? You wouldn’t, I hear bulky blokes are not his fancy” he didn’t sit down, obviously trying to intimidate Gavin by his size alone. Gavin used that trick often “Want some?” Kyle extended one of those weird homemade red-ice pipes to him.

“Pass” Gavin snarled, he really wanted to snap the dick’s spine in half, but he was a cop, he had to be smarter than that, now that everyone had seen him with Leo it wasn’t only his own life on the line.

“I was just askin’, bein’ polite” Kyle said taking a drag on the pipe “You are funny, it doesn’t look to me like red is what you are after, it doesn’t look to me like you have ever had it, red shows on your face like that” he said snapping his fingers like the douche he was “you are clean”

Before Gavin could worry about his fucking mess of an unofficial undercover job, he noticed the sleazy way in which Kyle was looking at Leo

“No way you did what red he gave you? Was it an excuse? Red has made him a wee bit single minded, don’t it” the douche said

Gavin’s cop status was safe but somehow his jaw only got tighter, he could physically feel his anger twisting his stomach, and his fingers itched to reach for his gun.

“He gets around, our Leo” Kyle continued “mostly with girls though and some of the most faggy wankers, that’s what he blows” he said, digging out brown muck from under his filthy nails “Gave some red to one and he told me Leo doesn’t shag anyone who could overpower him, no one he feels unsafe with, and the little lord is one hundred percent vanilla” Kyle scoffed “I could fix that no problem, but he’s good at hiding himself, like a bloody sick cat. When he’s too high he’ll just, disappear. Haven’t found any of his nooks yet, but maybe one day I’ll get lucky”

Kyle grinned at him and Gavin smirked back standing up, his hand reaching under his jacket for his holster–

“Hey! dickhead!” Leo called out, and it sounded like ‘don’t be a fucking idiot’ “Let’s go, then!” he said walking back towards the elevator

“Tugging at your leash little pet?” Kyle sneered letting himself fall where Leo had been sitting

Gavin scoffed with a disgusted expression as he walked away, his jaw so tight he could hear his teeth scraping against each other. He felt like he needed to bathe in boiling water, or bleach, boiling bleach, ideally.

“Holy fuck!” Leo shouted as the elevator door closed, and even with him shouting Gavin could barely hear him over the anguished whirring of the rotting machine “Aren’t you supposed to, like, keep a low profile?! Holy shit! What the fuck were you thinking! Get a gun out in there and twenty more will show up! You’d be gunned down in a second, jackass!”

“That motherfucking psychopath has it coming, shooting him in the face would be too good for him!” Gavin snarled “How can you talk to that motherfucking psycho pervert?! Have some fucking self-respect, some self-preservation instinct at the fucking least!” Gavin shouted back hitting the side of the elevator

“Are you fucking set on killing us today?!” Leo shouted back, not looking scared only very very very annoyed “this piece of crap won’t stand your fucking outbursts!”

With that the piece of crap stopped. The door opened, half showing the first floor and half the wall, it had given up before making it to the ground.

“Excellent, now I’ll die a gory death cut in half by an elevator” Leo said as he sat on the dirty floor swinging his legs and sliding down more than jumping out, landing with a thud that told Gavin he had fallen on his ass. Gavin jumped out, landing perfectly on his feet. Leo scoffed and rolled his eyes at that

“Kyle is a creeper in a sea of identical creepers” Leo said once they were away from the warehouse, walking in the empty street and the cold night air “but he’s an idiot and I can take care of myself, have done so for many years now.”

“Just– He’s fucking dangerous, keep your guard up”

“I always do” which Gavin knew was the truth “and I’m not scared of him” which Gavin knew was a lie

Gavin scoffed “You should get your dumb ass to rehab”

“Don’t!” Leo almost shouted, looking both angry and suddenly hurt “I don’t need that shit from you, okay! That’s all my dad ever says to me, maybe not with those words but that’s the idea. I have already been in rehab, several times, and I failed, several times, like I have failed at everything else, alright!” his voice cracked like he was about to cry and he would have if his stomach hadn’t growled then, changing his expression from hurt to embarrassment.

“When was the last fucking time you ate?”Gavin asked

“Don’t remember” Leo replied morosely

“Come on, dumbass. I’ll get you something to eat” Gavin said walking without looking back, but soon he could hear Leo’s footsteps behind him, still looking sullen but following him. They went into a diner which was deserted except for the elderly waitress behind the counter, when they were seated at the booth Leo’s mood seemed to improve a bit.

“Can I get anything?” Leo asked browsing the menu “Can it be something really greasy and really unhealthy?”

“Knock yourself out, it’s your insides, I don’t give a fuck”

“Cool!” Leo said

Gavin didn’t spare even one thought to the fact that he was literally paying Leo for saving his life, if not his dignity, (twice) by confronting someone Leo was frightened of, with an order of fries and a mint and chocolate milkshake.

They sat in companionable silence, Leo liked to talk but he wasn’t the sort of person who had to fill every moment with useless yapping, if he had something to say he said it and if he didn’t, he didn’t mind the quiet. Gavin stole a chip from Leo’s plate now and then, and Leo pushed the plate to the middle of the table so he could reach easier, dipping a chip now and then in his milkshake.

“That’s fucking disgusting” Gavin said, Leo took a chip dipped it in the mint green milkshake again before popping it into his mouth with a cheerful ‘whatever’ shrug

“Don’t go back to that dump;” Gavin said when he could see the bottom of his coffee cup “I’m going to blow the whistle on it before someone gets killed in that fucking elevator”

“Alright” Leo said not arguing for once, getting his phone out, looking at Gavin as he did so “I’m letting the girls know they shouldn’t go back there”

“You do that” Gavin said leaning back on the diner booth’s seat.

The diner smelled like greasy food, the floor was sticky, the lights were too bright and they made a buzzing sound, but it felt oddly homey and almost –and this was not a word Gavin Reed used often or even acknowledged– comforting, being alone there with Leo, like they were out of time, only them–  and the weird old waitress reading a tabloid behind the counter, who offered to read them their tarot cards for free as they paid their bill, a ridiculous offer which Leo, of course, accepted because it would be fun.

Gavin exited the diner and waited outside, looking at Leo through the diner window not unlike he had done through the two-way mirror of the interview room. This Leo didn’t look as haunted, but he was still burning out and Gavin wondered how many of his 9 lives he still had left.

 

* * *

 [NOTE :: music I was thinking of for the warehouse scene [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzoFHatryJQ) and [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeNSzJ2-Jw)]


	4. Chapter 4

The door clicked closed behind him as he walked into the house. He took his shoes off and placed them on the first step of the stairs so he’d remember to pick them up. His mom’s house had been a shoes off household, so had been his apartment, his dad didn’t mind one way or another, but Leo always took his shoes off inside, half force of habit, half so he could walk quietly and have an opportunity to avoid Markus if he felt like it.

He walked silently on the polished floor, so glossy he could see his reflection in it; in this house he kept finding his tired eyes looking back at him unexpectedly from many an impeccable surface. The mechanical birds were singing. They did so unbothered, day or night, even when his cat stalked their cage, even the one time he had jumped on it making it fall to the floor with a loud metallic crash. His cat ran to find him scared by the ruckus, but the birds only kept singing.

Leo wished he could be as detached and placid in his own golden cage. It had been months and it was still weird, living in his dad’s house. That had been all he’d wanted when he was a teenager and now that he finally got it, it only felt off, like the window of time for it to become his home had been long lost. Leo didn’t know how to fix that, and he guessed it was his own fault.

His dad had been nothing but welcoming when Leo hadn’t given him any reason to be, quite the contrary, but it was as if his dad and Markus lived in a completely different world. A world which Leo could never be part of, he could only ever look in at it from the outside. Leo didn’t know how to act around his perfect brother either, they were aloof to each other but at least they knew exactly where they stood with one another, grudge town and it went both ways.

Leo peeked into the kitchen to assess the situation, which only meant checking if Markus was around. He wasn’t, there was only Simon, and therefore the kitchen felt homey and welcoming.

“Hey, Simon” Leo greeted as he walked in “Is dad in the studio?”

“Yes, he’s been there for hours, I’m about to do an intervention” Simon said cheerfully “How did it go, did you get your chip today?”

“Yeah, I just gave it to Gavin, as a thank you for not letting me get in bigger trouble, I guess” Leo said sitting at the kitchen table “Oh, fuck!” he exclaimed suddenly as if someone had just kicked him in the shin “I should give him something better, right? Is that a terribly self-centered type of thank you, you think?”

“I’m sure he understands the sentiment” Simon replied but Leo didn’t seem at all convinced. Simon couldn’t blame him; Androids were fairly new to feelings, that was true, but Gavin Reed seemed to have about the same emotional range of an extremely grouchy rock “Do you want something to eat?” was Simon’s go to question, because food always seemed to make personal disasters seem smaller to humans, at the very least it gave them something to do.

“Maybe whatever leftovers you have closer? If it’s not a bother” Leo said as a little black shadow ran into the kitchen alerted by the sound of his voice

“I messed up, Leo” Leo said to the cat, placing his hand on his soft head, the cat chirped bunting his head against him “Yeah, big time” Leo replied

“Tell him he’s being too hard on himself, Leo” Simon said, the cat chirped again with more insistence “See? And he would know wouldn’t he” Simon smiled “and it’s not a bother at all. I was about to fix something up for your dad”

“Showing up with offerings so he doesn’t turn you out of the studio? So sly of you, Simon!”

“If I don’t remind him to eat something he’d just keep painting all day;” Simon placed a warm plate in front of Leo and one in Carl’s tray with what was left of the lasagna bolognese they had had for dinner “or until he passes out from low blood sugar, and that would be less than optimal”

“I wouldn’t doubt it” Leo said, taking a small piece with his fork “he’s really into his new series isn’t he?”

“It seems like having his two sons safe and healthy under one roof has proven quite beneficial for his work” Simon said, and he was sorry he was amused by how Leo had exactly the same frown Markus did when he called them brothers

“Maybe you’d like to invite Detective Reed to have a late lunch/early dinner with you?” Simon asked to make up for it “it would only be the two of you. I don’t think I’ll manage to coax your dad out of his studio”

Simon could absolutely coax Carl out of his studio saying ‘Detective Reed is currently having lunch-dinner in the kitchen with Leo’ Carl wouldn’t leave his new paintings for anything except the primo opportunity to tease one of his sons and the surly detective.

“That’d be cool” Leo said simply “but he’s gone, said he had to show up at the station, but we still got Nines protecting the old castle”

“Maybe tomorrow then”

“Are you planning to poison him?” Leo teased “I promise I won’t tell”

“Indeed, I was, but you seem to be rather fond of him for some reason so I had to call it off”

“That’s so mean!” Leo laughed “So unlike you!”

“It’s worryingly easy when it comes to Detective Reed” Simon said, frowning with pretended concern

“He can be a total dick, but he’s not all bad” Leo said genuinely

“So you keep saying, not sure I believe you just yet, I’m afraid you are far too biased”

“Hey! No way, I’m not!” Leo said almost laughing again “Tell him it’s not like that, Leo” to which the cat chirped in annoyance from under the table as if he understood exactly what they were talking about, and he had to agree with Simon on this one.

_[Welcome home, Markus]_

As soon as they heard the front door greeting a shadow fell on Leo’s face, his jaw and shoulders tensed as if he were about to fight, or as if he were holding himself back from fighting. He looked down at his plate barely looking up when Markus came into the kitchen. Markus in turn barely looked at him as he said a dry “Good evening” before going to Simon and kissing him, placing his palm gently against his, their hands turned plastic white and then glowed blue.

“I’ll be right back, I’ll only say hi to dad” Markus said softly, as he took his hand away

Leo would never dare bother his dad when he was working. Simon always went in with an excuse, but Markus could enter the studio whenever he wanted, empty handed and for no reason at all.

“Wait, could you take this to him?” Simon said offering him the finished lunch tray “make him eat something? He’s been working all day”

“I’ll try my best” Markus said with a charming smile, kissing Simon lightly as he took the tray from him and walked with it out of the kitchen

“I made something for you” Simon said to Leo hoping the surprise would wash away the tension, “I’d planned to give it to you for breakfast since I know therapy is hard, but I thought it was better to let you rest.” Simon said taking a small dessert cup out of the fridge, since it was made of clear glass, Leo could see the pretty layers of graham cracker crust and soft lemon cream to end with the fluffy white meringue. He had mentioned lemon curd desserts were his favourite maybe once, and Simon had not only remembered but gone through the hassle of making some for him.

Leo stood up from his chair “Simon” he said shyly “can I, maybe, give you a hug?” Leo said tugging down at his cardigan sleeves as he did when he was feeling nervous or self-conscious.

“But of course!” Simon said, and no sooner Leo heard his reply than he put his arms around him

“Thank you” Leo added after a moment, still sounding shy “you always help me so much, and I don’t know how to say thank you for all of it”

“You just did” Simon said, squeezing Leo tightly.

Simon’s original programming was designed to understand that the way in which humans showed and received affection wasn’t always the same, PL600s were one of the first models designed to understand all of them to be effective at their care giving tasks. Leo was the sort of person who communicated by physical contact, which Carl was not and that meant Leo only had Markus and Simon left for now. Except for partner models which were made with other specifications, androids weren’t great at hugs as a rule; their bodies were still plastic, much harder and colder than humans were, that applied doubly to an older model like a PL600, but Leo didn’t seem to mind. Simon wondered how long had it been since anyone had given Leo a hug.

“Sit down” Simon said comfortingly when Leo let go “I hope it’s good, it’s the first time I make it” he added placing the glass cup and a small dessert spoon in front of Leo

“Thanks” Leo said again, bumping slightly against the android’s arm not unlike his cat did. Leo was definitely the type for whom affection centered on small touches and unfortunately that was the one androids weren’t that gifted at. Partner models, of course, or Markus who was, in Simon’s eyes at least, almost human, but asking the Manfred brothers to give each other even one (1) short hug was as of yet, a tad too advanced for them. Detective Reed didn’t seem to be great at it either, and that made Simon feel a pang of sadness for Leo.

“Simon?” Leo said, trying to gather courage from the tartness of the lemon dessert “Should I– Should I look away or, you know, leave the room, when you do that–“ he raised his left hand slightly and turned it over a few times “the weird hand thing, I never know what to do”

“Interfacing?”

“That’s what it’s called? You know, the pretty…” Leo paused for a second “but scary girl with the red hair? she told me it was like the android equivalent of sex or something and I didn’t know if I should bring it up, I mean, in case you did it in front of me thinking I didn’t know, it felt super weird not telling you”

“North was only trying to mess with you” Simon said with a little laugh “if she tells you any more android facts, fact check them with me?”

“I’ll remember to do that” Leo said with obvious relief “So, what is it really like?” he asked after a pause, “Interfacing?”

Simon considered the question for a moment sitting down at the table “I don’t think it’d have a human equivalent, and maybe North is not all wrong. We can transfer all sort of emotions when we interface, desire and lust are part of it depending on the situation, but you can also transmit serenity and peace and let the other know how much they mean to you, how much you miss them even before they are gone, how much you look forward to them coming back to you. We can share our entire lives, our full memories, our partner can experience them as if they were right there with us” Simon said with a soft smile

“Oh wow, that’s so unfair!” Leo said “I mean, I envy you, It’d be so cool to be able to do that. Showing someone the shit you have gone through so they understand you better; or being able to show them how much you care for them and want them to be happy, knowing exactly how much someone loves you or if they even like you at all…”  Leo trailed off playing with a few cracker crumbs in his cup

“Someone like Detective Reed, maybe?” Simon said, he had been spending far too much time with Carl.

“Dude!” Leo looked up, seemly unfazed and quite amused “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you seem kinda obsessed with Gavin. If I interfaced with him I’d only find out how much I annoy him at best; and probably how little he thinks of, if not plain hates, people like me”

“What do you mean, people like you?” Simon asked, puzzled

“You know– privileged yet good for nothing dumb fucks” Leo said, trying to huff out a laugh but looking down at the crumbs again.

Simon’s first instinct was to refute Leo’s self deprecating statement but he knew it wouldn’t do any good, could be counterproductive even. Simon was well acquainted with those feelings of inadequacy, you had been thrown away once, and then it just kept happening. There had to be a reason for it, why wouldn’t you be discarded again as soon as your shortcomings made themselves apparent, and since they were part of you they always would.

Simon still couldn’t believe Markus had chosen him, a PL600, one of the most obsolete models. North, Josh and Markus always said it was nonsense to keep thinking in those terms, but it was only a fact, his processing core was much slower than theirs, his biocomponents often flashed errors in his system because they overheated so easily. Simon realized for the first time how cold and terrible it would be if Markus and him couldn’t interface, he’d have many more doubts and misgivings then, wondering all the time if Markus really returned his feelings, never believing it completely, because why would he?

He understood Leo’s point of view although in Simon’s opinion Leo was the one completely out of Detective Reed’s league, as the humans said. A Manfred for starters, Leo was loyal and funny and more importantly he was very sweet and loving when given the smallest chance, Simon wanted him to find someone who would reciprocate that, not throw it away like it was worthless. Humans really had it harder that androids in so many ways, it was no wonder some like Detective Reed resented them so much.

“I wonder what would he feel in return, though?” Simon asked softly, trying to take the conversation away from how Leo felt about himself, at least for now

Leo paused for a moment as if he were trying to figure out the answer

“You know what, I take it back;” Leo replied with playful faux-haughtiness “I don’t envy you guys at all!”

At that moment Markus steps could be heard coming back to the kitchen and all the play flickered out of Leo again

“Leo and I will be in the backyard if you need us, Simon” Leo said, taking what was left of his dessert with him

“Okay” Simon let Leo run away, “remember to take your scarf, its cold, shoes too, maybe?”

“I got the scarf!” Leo said wrapping it around himself “Don’t worry about the shoes, I’ll stay under the roof on the swing, thank you for the dessert, it’s really, really good” he said with a small smile before going out through the sliding doors, the chirping piece of charcoal loyally following after him.

Leo stretched out on the wooden yard swing, careful to put his feet up so he wouldn’t stand on the cold terracotta tiles for too long or step on the snow, there was a dusting of it on the grass, and his cat lost no time charging into it.

When Leo finished the dessert he placed the cup on the tile floor, and watched his cat run around, jumping in the snow, looking like a big cookie crumb in a bowl of cookies and cream ice cream, hunting viciously for dry leaves, once he caught a price big enough he brought it to Leo and lay down next to the swing, obviously quite pleased with the game he had hunted down. Leo stayed there playing with the leaf in his hands thinking how he’d envied Simon for a second, but in reality how cold and terrible it would be, to find out without the possibility of a doubt that someone you really liked didn’t feel anything but contempt for you.

What would Gavin see or feel in return? That was a very scary thought.

Maybe he’d see how Gavin had been just one among the dozens of faceless cops Leo regularly had the misfortune of dealing with (Gavin was only an officer then, not for much longer though), until the day Leo had gotten into a foolish fight, as usual. He was getting the life kicked out of him, literally, when the officer Leo thought of as ‘scar face’ because of the deep scar cutting the bridge of his nose pushed the man away and grabbed Leo’s arm pulling him up from the dirty street, he was taking him to the patrol car, when the man Leo had been fighting with (read: used as a punching bag by) launched towards them. The officer looked angry, his hair was messy and he obviously had no time for anyone’s bullshit. He was so quick, he kicked the man in a smooth, graceful movement, not even letting go of Leo’s arm. That’s all it took for the other man to crumble to the ground trying to get his breath back.

“Can’t keep up a fight with someone your size, can you? Fucking prick!” scar face spat and Leo’s heart skipped a beat, it was very stupid of him and he told himself it must have been the uniform, which made no sense at all because Leo really, really– really hated cops.

“Donovan, take this thing with you, I don’t want trash stench in my car” scar face barked to one of the other officers

“Fine, Reed, but you owe me one“ the officer replied

“I could have beaten his ass” Leo said sullenly and inexplicably even as he winced when Reed put him in the back of his patrol car

“That’s what you think winning a fight looks like?” Reed replied “Let us know if you start to black out from the internal bleeding, dipshit”

“Will do, jackass” Leo answered, because he was obviously a freaking idiot that apparently wanted to get another beating. Reed scoffed and Leo wasn’t sure if he actually heard the words ‘Fucking unbelievable’ as the officer shook his head slightly and shut the car door.

When Reed got into the driver’s seat, his partner smiled at him.

“I don’t need to hear it, Chen” he scoffed as he started the car, and Leo, even when in the back of a patrol car for the seventh time that month, even when he could taste blood in his mouth and couldn't even tell what exactly hurt because everything did, felt better than he had in months, maybe years, like not everyone left in the world was an enemy after all.

Leo found himself hoping he’d see him again; he had so often before he was aware of him or known his name and now it was like he didn’t exist. Leo started to wonder if something had happened to him, even considered asking Officer Chen about him, but before he could do that he finally noticed him at the DPD some time before the last of Leo’s strength finally cracked and he fell through the red ice. 

Leo couldn’t remember what he was being a brat about, but he was being a brat about something, as usual, hurled someone’s coffee to someone else’s head, –he’d learned from the best, although his aim wasn’t half as great as hers yet– he was restrained (in his defense that coffee wasn’t even hot!) and that’s when he saw him. No wonder he had missed him before, his eyes had kept searching for him among the officers in uniform, but now he sat at a desk in street clothes.

_Was he a plainclothes officer now?_ _He must have been promoted to detective_ Leo remembered thinking with the familiar fondness you’d have for someone you see in your commute to work every day. Reed was laughing and clapping, flat out asshole behavior, could as well have been making fun of him, but that wasn’t it

“The hell, Gavin! What side are you on?” other detective shouted in frustration, picking up the ruined paper files from his desk, all of them soaked and dripping cold coffee, pressing some keys on his now unresponsive keyboard

“Never yours, Robert” Gavin said still clapping and grinning, and that had made Leo smile; not only because of the situation, or because he again felt someone at the DPD was on his side, but because Gavin was SUCH an incredibly dorky name for someone who tried his best to be the poster child for toxic masculinity alpha male asshole. Gavin was the name of a guy with thick glasses that lived in hand-knitted pullovers, had eight cats, and read gardening books.

Or maybe Gavin would feel how nervous Leo was in the interview room. He was scared sure, and he was high as a kite too, so much so he realized he was holding Gavin’s hand in his only when he was already about to write on it. That made him so freaking nervous his hand shook so much he almost couldn’t hold the pen, but he could always blame that on needing a fix.

He’d see the moment Leo’s silly crush had become something more dear, when he had seen Gavin parked in front of his dad’s house at a ridiculous hour of the night, just like he had promised, even so many weeks after he did. Nobody had ever done something like that for Leo, and true enough it was Gavin’s job, but he didn’t have to go that extra mile once he had gotten what information he needed from him.

Or the burning white rage Leo felt when he saw him caught in Kyle’s slimy grasp. Leo who was angry most of the time and had been for years had never felt that type of protective fury. He was high that day too, as usual, but he knew he would have gone right to him no matter what, even if his judgment wasn’t blurred by red-ice, even when Leo was afraid of Kyle knowing very well he was bigger and much stronger than him and that he wouldn’t have a chance of winning in a fight. Avoidance was his way of dealing with him (a tried and true method that had kept him safe for years), but he threw all his precautions away at once when he’d seen Gavin in trouble.

Or how he squeezed Gavin’s wrist tighter to convince himself that he was really there and thus feel safer, or how his heart beat so fast it made him dizzy when he leaned in foolishly hoping Gavin would actually kiss him, or how cold and sick he felt when he saw him reaching for his gun. Leo knew that if that gun got out they were both dead (one faster than the other), but he wasn’t really scared for himself, his only thought at that moment was that he didn’t want to see Gavin hurt (Leo wouldn’t even think of him dying).  

Then Gavin would know how that night they were at the diner was one of the best memories Leo had of the last 13 years (he didn’t have that many), and he wondered if Gavin would only think that was sad and very stupid. Leo still held on to the three tarot cards the waitress had gifted to him ‘Justice’ had the picture of a sword and two cats at either side, one black and one white. The name of it had inevitably reminded him of the detective of course, so had the sword, and months later when he found out Gavin loved cats, it made it fully his, as if there really were some magic to it. (Leo wondered if he’d find out Gavin liked knitted pullovers and gardening too)

Or How relieved Leo was when he saw him in the park just when he was about to do something truly idiotic, just as if he were lifting him up from the dirty street again.

How he’d felt so warm and had hoped it wasn’t showing on his face when Gavin finally called him ‘Leo’ instead of ‘Manfred’ –he’d always felt disconnected from his surname, when he heard it he thought of his dad, never of himself– and how disappointed he was when he realized Gavin had only been trying to call the fugitive without giving away his name.

How grateful Leo was because even after the infinite number of ways in which Gavin had seen him act up, he still trusted him enough to give the fluffy piece of night to him. How happy and surprised Leo was when Gavin had let him clean the mud off his face without moving away or plain punching him unconscious.

How giddy he felt now when Gavin was near, how he had to reject the offer of his jacket because he was afraid of what his face would give away if he put it on (Gavin seemed to be freakishly good at reading others). How he still could hear his words _“you are doing a fucking great job”_ and how his shoulder still tingled where he patted him and then placed his hand to playfully shove him away. It was the first time Gavin had ever touched him that wouldn’t be only Gavin doing his job, and he had done it twice, not that Leo was keeping a score– only that he obviously, kinda was.

Gavin would know all of it if they could do the interfacing thing, and Leo, who was never afraid when he looked into Gavin’s storm-grey eyes, had to admit he’d be scared of seeing himself through them.

Leo was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t realize the sky was getting darker, only noticing he had spent hours outside when a few lights turned on in the house, he was a bit disappointed when the LED garden lights came on too.

“Leo?” Simon said tentatively, maybe thinking he was asleep

“I’ll only be out for a few more minutes”

“That’s fine, but the other Leo has a guest” Simon said with a smile and a small nod towards the cat who had since climbed to the swing to sleep on Leo’s chest “she wonders if she can come say hi to him”

“Sure! Who is it?” asked Leo curiously, changing his position to sit cross-legged on the swing, gently, so the cat wasn’t too disturbed as he slid down to his lap, he did so with a soft and understanding ppprr sound

“A police officer” Simon informed him with a small smile “Sorry, I didn’t get her name, she’s with Detective Reed” Simon said with the smallest apologetic shrug before walking back inside

“Are you on the run?” Leo asked the cat “did you pull off a heist I don’t know about?”

The cat blinked slowly at him in a ‘no comment’ fashion

When Leo looked up he saw Gavin entering the kitchen with officer Chen,  as soon as she stepped outside his cat jumped down the swing and ran chirping happily to greet her with the air of the host of the most fashionable and refined soirée of the year welcoming his favourite guest.

“Oh my God!” Tina exclaimed, kneeling on the floor immediately to ruffle the cat’s fur “Look at you, you are so fat! So pretty!”

“There goes the dignity of the entire fucking department, Tina” Gavin said, looking at the spectacle from the sliding door

“I’m off duty, Detective Reed. I can talk in all the silly voices I well please, I asked if I could tag along especially to see this absolute unit,” Tina said resuming throwing the dignity of the entire fucking department away “you look so happy, do you like your new house? Yes? You were too good for that ugly, dusty parking lot! You clean up so good, yes you do!” Tina stood up picking the cat up “You are so fluffy now, you look so fancy!”

“You clean up really good, and look much fluffier now too” Tina said with a friendly nod towards Leo making him chuckle “Doesn’t he Gav?”

“I have to go inside to barf” was Gavin’s evasive reply

“You are such an old crank!” Tina said sitting on the swing next to Leo “But we love you anyway, right, Leo?” Tina said holding the cat in front of her face

“For sure!” Leo answered, looking at the cat and scratching behind the cat’s ears. If it was a joke, or if it was meant to be the cat’s answer or his, no one was the wiser. The cat only looked at Tina and Leo like he didn’t care to be lumped in with them, their bad taste was far below him.

“This will sound really silly, but would you like to brush him?” Leo said, covering his tracks flawlessly “he really loves it”

“You little ruffian!” Tina said to the cat holding him in front of her again “You never let us get anywhere near you with a brush, but it’s all fine and well if he does it? I see how it is”

The cat looked up at a moth that was flying near one of the garden lights, pretending he didn’t know what Tina was about. She placed cat-Leo back on her lap and turned to look at his human counterpart

“I–“ she said bringing her hand to her chest, “would love to brush this froufrou brute” she may or may not have gotten slightly teary eyed

Leo smiled and rushed inside for the cat’s brush with a quick “be right back!”

“Calm down Tina, you haven’t won fucking Miss America” Gavin scoffed once Leo disappeared into the house

“Yet!” Tina said, gathering herself for her best Regina George impression “And weren’t you going inside?”

“As if I’d let you out here without a recorder, may come handy when I fucking sue you for defamation of character”

“You wound me” Tina said in mock offence “As if I’d ever believe you’d call a lawyer, and I assure you I’d never give away any of your secrets in a way that could be detrimental to your future happiness”

“Your wording fucking concerns me”

“But, seriously, now that you ask for my opinion–”

“I fucking didn’t–”

“I do insist, you should tell him about that night” Tina said resuming the talk they had on their way to the Manor and in fact several times in the last year “if he really doesn’t remember, you should tell him”

“What do you want me to say?” Gavin lowered his voice to only a medium growl “By the way, one day you got really fucked up and I dragged your ass home“

“I was thinking something closer to the truth,” Tina retorted “closer to ‘someone roofied you, but no worries, I swooped you out of the clasp of that” Tina air quoted “’fucking’ pervert”

“Why the air quotes? Calling him a fucking pervert is too good for that piece of shit”

“I know, but that’s more of a you word, than a me word?”

“What’s a you word then?” Gavin said smiling despite himself

“I’d rather use that son of a fuck”

“That’s good” Gavin said appreciatively

“So, you should tell him he doesn’t have to worry because you swooped him out of the hooves of that son of a fuck” Tina concluded as the cat sat on her lap, meowing at Gavin once like he agreed with Tina entirely

“No fucking way, it’d sound like I’m trying to put one over him” Gavin argued “be fucking thankful to me for not taking advantage of you when you let your guard down, as I fucking told you not to do. If he doesn’t remember, it’s better for him.”

“What if he worries about it?”

“He woke up safe and alone in his apartment, Tina. Nothing to worry about, what should I do? Ask him, hey man, I was wondering if there are any moments that haunt you from last year because I may have a fucking useless answer for one you may not even think about, and I haven’t been fucking creepy keeping it from you, I just didn’t find a good moment that with the fucking mannequins coming to life just like all those crappy 00’s movies warned us they would and then you finally getting your dumb ass to rehab, about fucking time by the way, and you not getting busted every other day and everything–”

“Fine, we can talk about this later,” Tina conceded “we’ll figure out a way for you to tell him that won’t sound like you stalk him creeping around the bushes”

“That’d be fucking great”

“We’ll have to swear you to temporary secrecy” Tina said kissing the cat’s head “Come on, Gavin!” she said taking the cat’s paw and moving it softly towards him

“For fucks sake” Gavin scoffed, but he complied and fist bumped the cat, after which Tina made a soft explosion sound as she took the cat’s paw slowly away. The cat only stared at Gavin with his strange, unblinking pumpkin eyes, as if instead of swearing to keep Gavin’s secrets, he were threatening to tell Leo if he didn’t tell him himself soon enough. Gavin was well aware of exactly where the trashbag’s loyalties lay.

“Sorry I’m interrupting the secret handshake” Leo said laughing as he came out of the house,

“You aren’t!” Tina said taking the brush from Leo “want to brush?” she offered it to Gavin in turn as Leo took his place back on the swing

Gavin shook his head no “I’ll go check in with Nines, take it easy with the brushing, may be too much fucking excitement for you”

“I don’t make any promises” Tina said cheerfully

Gavin walked into the house, allowing himself only a quick glance back at the backyard, Leo said something and they both laughed, and Gavin almost smiled, and maybe he would have (a very small smile, mind you) if he hadn’t bumped against Simon, all the detective’s fault (again) since he had been distracted.

There was a tense moment while the android and the detective looked at each other, the detective stepped back and gave Simon a curt nod before walking away, rude by anyone’s else standards Simon considered it borderline polite coming from him, certainly an improvement from spewing the next inspired anti-android slogan. When Simon looked at what had been taking all of the detective’s attention, he thought Gavin Reed may not be a rock after all; maybe he was closer to a particularly emotionally challenged weed.

 

* * *

[Justice ](https://get.google.com/albumarchive/112868448452435024861/album/AF1QipO1cDMXx-9-SLeZvQszZ_l0Az4Tksy4duYB9vvN/AF1QipNXiJ9Uujgpg9f5U4q9AaYcIN3jSPeLQrFSdK0H) ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 

Also if you would take a moment to witness this beautiful [paul spera gifset](https://imonredice.tumblr.com/post/180381640026/asexualconnor-paul-spera-in-anna-ruohonen)

Thank you so much for reading lads. I really do love this fic and it means the world to me that you take the time to read it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s free real estate ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿_  
> Sorry this chapter is so long, lads, but I didn’t want to chop it in half.

There were many empty, dark spaces where memories of the last 13 years should be, Leo knew they were gone and irretrievable, just like all the other things he had lost to his various addictions; his opportunity to try for the National Figure Skating team, all the friends who wouldn’t stab him and leave him for dead in a dirty alleyway over pocket change, most of his 20’s bar, like, one year– kinda, and a considerable number of events he didn’t think he’d care to keep even if he could.

He remembered hook ups and a few actual relationships, but only sort of, he wished he could remember those better, even when he had searched them out to have yet another thing that would help him dull his mind, he was sure most of them had been quite fun and none of them were unpleasant, but a thick red fog coiled over all of it.

So many of his memories started with him drinking and doing red-ice and then– 

Nothing, only a blank space over days until he woke up after passing out in all sort of weird places; the crawlspace of a creepy basement in a house he didn’t recognize (he sneaked out the window not wanting to risk confronting whatever could be upstairs) or in locked stalls in stinky, abandoned public bathrooms, in alleyways behind trash containers (a few times IN the trash containers, he could legit have died crushed by a garbage truck), under benches in parks, under bridges, inside the hollowed spaces in the rotting walls of spooky warehouses, – fortunately he didn’t mind spiders because the times he had woken up with a few of those in his hair (possibly eaten some as well) were abundant – If he was lucky, by the time the red fog lifted he’d be in a cell at the police station. He didn’t have much to worry about then, he was told exactly what stupid things he had done under the header, ‘Charges’.

Not that Leo worried too much about any of them, really. There was no point in lamenting things you had thrown away yourself and couldn’t get back. Leo thought he was lucky to be alive, to have somehow avoided bigger trouble, and to have all the privileges he’d always had, still protected by his dad’s name and money, when anyone else would have cut him off completely after all the shit he had pulled off, instead, he’d been given a second chance, even invited to stay at the Manor.

But among those missing pieces there was one Leo couldn’t, and Gavin only pretended not to remember. Gavin was really good at pretending not to remember things; practice makes perfect and he had 30+ years of it.

He told himself his first ever memory wasn’t his father almost dislocating his arm because he had upset a glass of milk on the table, or how his sister was the one who looked after him even when she was only 3 years older than him. She comforted him when he got hurt, or when his father screamed at him as he grabbed his arm so hard it left marks, for the unforgivable crime of playing and making noise (as any little kid would).

When he started having chronic bad dreams she pushed his bed to the wall (a feat that took some effort if you were a 9 year old girl) so he would feel safer, because she did if she slept with her back to the wall, like some defenseless, small and cowering creature. She would even try to help him change his sheets when he wet the bed, and since they both were very small children they always did it far below the standard and his accidents were always discovered in the end. His sister kept trying to help him anyway, even if then they both got punished.

When they were a bit older they would try to hide food in their bedrooms (things that kept and didn’t make noise) in case they had to hole up in there so they wouldn’t upset the fragile balance of their big and comfortable upper middle class suburban home. Their father was a doctor, his schedule was hard to predict.

Gavin’s father claimed to love science and logical thinking. He took care of his son and daughter on a surface level, that meant they went to a good school, had new clothes and doctor appointments regularly, there was always food in their fridge, they had laptops and wifi which they were supposed to use only for school (Gavin had a clandestine phone Tina pretended to have lost).

Their father never spent any time with them or tried to teach them anything, they hardly if ever got any praise from him, things like love or empathy were never seen. His father was respected and successful and therefore nobody looked too closely at Gavin or his big sister, and was there anything to see anyway? Maybe their father wasn’t warm and fuzzy, maybe he was a bit too strict, but he took care of them, didn’t he? (As a detective Gavin tried to look past those still, clear surfaces).

Their father demanded perfection and absolute silence, nothing less would do. Everything had to be spotless at all times; everything had to be silent at all times. What constituted noise varied day to day. The punishment for breaking the two golden rules varied but was always harsh, even when they had been very small, but they learned quickly. The best nights were when their father had the night shift, his sister would play music and sing along all night, and Gavin would fall asleep to the muffled sound of her favourite records (as clandestine as his phone).

Once she was sent off to college when Gavin was 16 everything was worse for both of them. She couldn’t reach the level of perfection their father demanded (why couldn’t she be prettier, smarter, thinner, more athletic, more outgoing, or just normal) She was a timid person, she started to be crushed.

Meanwhile Gavin kept the old routines, avoiding his father as much as he could, both the football and baseball coach had their eyes on him, but he didn’t feel like team work was his thing, so he took up boxing instead and imagined his father’s face all the time. Feeling safer than he ever had, that motherfucker couldn’t rough him up anymore, or that’s what Gavin thought, ignorant of the other ways in which his father could fuck him up. Gavin was going to discovered conversion therapy was still legal and rampant in the year 2019.

That was the year Gavin had kissed Richard Howard. Gavin should have known he was a dick, it was in the name for fucks sake, but he couldn’t see it before it all went down to shit. He had kissed him and then the Dick had gone and, not only told everyone, but sent everyone a picture some other fucking wiener took. It had been a stupid game, a bet to see if Gavin would. Gavin did. It was all over his classmates’ social before the end of the day. Technology was a mistake.

Twenty years later Gavin didn’t remember if he had felt disappointed or even betrayed, he knew he hadn’t been surprised, and he hadn’t been concerned at all although he was pissed off. He already had a reputation, those morons at school who would bully someone for that would never dare bully him, and if they did, he’d snap their necks.

Then he arrived home.

The only thing he remembered after going through that door was seeing white and how his face and eyes burned, for a panicked moment he wondered if his father had thrown acid on him. He stumbled back from the front door, only seeing red (literally more than figuratively at this point) and ran as fast as he could as he heard his father’s voice calling him a fag, etc. Gavin still hated himself for running away from him.

As he ran he wondered if his father even actually cared or if he only needed an excuse to take whatever frustrations he had out on him. Gavin went to the only safe place he had. He couldn’t see very well but he didn’t need to see to know the way. He climbed to Tina’s window effortlessly and tapped on it as he had done since they were 11.

“Wait a second, Gav! I’m just out of the shower” Tina said cheerfully from inside her bedroom “I got that stupid picture. Don’t even think about it, he’s not worth a second of your time, you deserve a really sweet, honest guy, and that doesn’t describe Dicky H. You can tell them we are a thing if you think that would help anything. I’ll tell everyone we banged in graphic detail, you just tell me the story we are sticking to, Richard is such a son of a–“ and then she opened her curtains.

Gavin still remembered her face at that moment, draining of blood and taking a sickly, pasty hue. They had seen so much messed up shit on the job and yet Gavin had never seen Tina afraid of anything, but she had been afraid that day.

“Can I come in, Tina?” Gavin said, his voice sounded weird and far to his own ears

“You don’t have to ask, Edward! What the hell!” Tina was only half dressed; her hair was still wet and she had only thrown on the oversized t-shirt with a white 1975 on it she wore to bed. She took him by his arm to her bathroom which still smelled like her lavender shampoo, and sat him on her closed toilet seat. He was dripping blood all over her floor but the thing Gavin remembered most about that moment was thinking he had to make fun of her for liking that band.

“Okay, jesus, Gav” She said after a minute “I think we have to take you to the clinic”

“No fucking way, he’ll be there and if he’s not there he’ll know I was”

Tina knew who ‘he’ was, there wasn’t anyone else Gavin wouldn’t face head on.

“He did this?”

“Who else, you are not the only one who heard about fucking Richard”

“You fucked Richard?!” Tina joked

“Tina, I’m fucking bleeding here”

“Right, sorry, nervous joke, let me focus” she said taking a deep breath “I need to see if it got your eye, okay?” Tina took one of her nice face towels and ran it under the water in her sink

“It fucking feels like it”

“It better didn’t, because I’m about to pass out and that may just do it”

“Don’t pass out”

“Alright,  passing out postponed.” Tina agreed, looking at her phone, nodding a few times to herself and turning to look at him again “I’m going to touch your face now, as this handy youtube video is teaching me in real time right now, okay?”

“Okay”

“Okay” She said again, balling the wet towel in her hand and reaching for his face

“Fuck!” Gavin yanked himself backwards from her when she had barely touched him, trying not to kick her as he did so

“Jesus, Gavin!” Tina shouted alarmed

“Did it get my fucking eye?” Gavin shouted back

“I have no idea! You didn’t let me do anything!”

“Fuck– okay, I’m ready, go again” Gavin said, telling himself to stop being a fucking baby when he looked up at Tina, fat tears were running down her face “Tina, Don’t cry!”

“Ignore the tears! Because the crying is happening” She said sniffling “Wait, I know!” She ran into her bedroom and back

“Here hold on to this” Tina gave him the fat hen plushy she always kept on her bed

“I’m only gonna get it dirty, you love this fucking thing”

“If it gets dirty it goes in the wash, simple, grandpa gave it to me when I was little and was afraid of getting my vaccines or getting a blood test. Unlike yours truly, Claudia knows what she’s doing and she’s not afraid of a little blood, so hug the chicken and ignore the pain and anything going on with my face, if I look terrified is only because I did my eyebrows in a new way” She took another deep breath and wiped the tears off her face “here it goes, okay?”

“Okay” Gavin said clenching his jaw and clutching the chicken, breathing in sharply as Tina cleaned the blood off his face slowly and carefully with the small soft towel and soap. She searched for something else on her phone and took her tweezers, which Gavin found alarming, but he trusted her and didn’t move away even as he flinched, every time he did, it was followed by Tina placing small bits of bloodied glass next to her sink.

“Okay, great! Your eye is fine” she said after a while “it didn’t get it, you have a lot of smaller cuts though, some bits of glass stuck on you but we have dealt with those, your nose isn’t doing that great,” Tina took a deep shaky breath “okay, the situation is, you have a piece of your skin hanging by a thread, I’ll try to stick it back”

“No, can’t you just yank it the fuck off”

“No…” Tina whispered

“Do it, Tina.” Gavin insisted “If it doesn’t stick back right it would only be a fucking bother”

“If it doesn’t come off with the smallest effort it goes back on your face”

“Fine” Gavin agreed

“Ready?”

“Yea–” Gavin didn’t finish saying that short word when Tina pulled at the ruined chunk of skin “Motherfucking fucking – fuck– phck!” He yanked himself backwards again, his eyes watered and he passed his hand through his hair because he didn’t want to touch his face in case there were bits of glass still there that he could drive in deeper “Is it off?”

“It’s off, I got the shivers” Tina said, twirling and jumping a little after she threw the towel drenched in his blood and with a piece of his nose in her trashcan “Okay, I’ll finish cleaning it up, alright?”

“I need a minute”

“Feeling dizzy?”

Gavin nodded, keeping his head down and focusing on the seahorse on the tiles of Tina’s bathroom floor

“Do you want a coke? Doesn’t matter, you are drinking one” Tina said running out of her bathroom again

Gavin took a few deep breaths before deciding it was safe to stand up and Tina wouldn’t find him imitating her bathroom rug. He looked up at himself in the mirror, expecting to see two-face, but no, it was still himself, if maybe a bit worse for wear.

All in all not as bad as he expected, he had smaller cuts scattered around his face, but no suspicious foreign objects. He looked at the bloody bits of glass next to Tina’s sink, yeah, there weren’t any left on his face. There was a deep cut over his brow which was where the blinding blood had come from, his skin was starting to turn purple and his whole face throbbed like a heartbeat, making it feel much worse than it looked.

The painful raw stripe cutting his nose was the worst of it, when he tried to clean up the blood from it with a piece of toilet paper he could see it bleeding all over again, the blood oozing out in little red dots until they joined. Blood kept coming out from inside his nose too, but at least it wasn’t broken. He made a toilet paper cork for his nosebleed, then he leaned in closer to his reflection seeing how the big cut had almost reached his eye, he had been lucky.

Gavin felt like laughing at that thought, but he didn’t, he’d look fucking hysterical, and he had put Tina through enough.

“Here you go” Tina said entering the bathroom giving a regular coke to him and opening one of those disgusting cherry ones for her “tell me when you are ready” she said sitting on the edge of her bathtub preparing the gauze she had brought with her, folding a square of it and carefully setting medical tape at the sides. Gavin sat back on the toilet seat and Tina finished patching him up, taking swings of her soda can as she did so like it was an old miner’s last pint of whiskey, and the mine had collapsed.

“That’s the best I can possibly do with what youtube and google tell me about wound treatment” Tina said after a few minutes, standing back to check her work “we should have mom check it when she comes home”

“Nah, what you did is more than good enough” He knew Tina’s parents weren’t his biggest fans, letting him enter by her bedroom window looking like he had put his face in a blender was only going to get her in trouble

They returned to her room, she played some music on her laptop and he cleaned his blood off her floor. 

“Are you going to be okay at your house? Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“Nah, he won’t be there when I go back, and I’ll get the fuck out in the morning before he arrives”

“Send me snapchats every night, so I know you are okay?”

“Come on, I won’t fucking remember to do that”

“You better,” She said taking her phone out again and opening their chat, her texts were always one or two sentences, his were a single emoji, every single time “because your emoji language could be easily forged and I need to know you are fine,

me: “How did your math test go?”

you: “cake emoji”

me: “Are we going to the movies today?”

you: “paw prints emoji” 

you: “french fries emoji, question mark”

me: “Yes, please! I’ll see you there”

you: “money with wings emoji”

me: “your treat?”

you: “green check mark emoji”

“Anyone could be sending those, and if you disappear all the evidence will point to me, I have your literal blood and skin in my bathroom”

“Fine,” Gavin gave in “I’ll try to remember to send you the dumb as fuck snapchats”

“Thank you. Here,” she said, throwing a small box she got out from her drawer at him “have some of the Ibuprofen I use for my period cramps, will help with the general” she gestured towards her face, “ouch” she sighed and crashed on her bed

Gavin took the pill with the last of his coke and took his boots off, feeling he’d already made enough of a mess. He told himself to remember to pay her back for her ruined towels, but for now he imitated her and lay next to her just like she did, looking up at her ceiling with their knees bent as her music played

“That band is lame, Chen” Gavin criticized her music taste as he made the plush chicken walk in three little jumps from him to her, because he couldn’t fucking say ‘thanks’ like a normal person.

“Your problem is that you have no taste, Reed” Tina said, and Gavin didn’t appreciate the implications of her following that with a heartfelt “I’m sorry about Richard”

“Who cares about that dick” Gavin spat  

After 4 songs had passed, he bumped his knee softly against hers managing a very quiet “Thanks–“ it sounded weird and hollow coming from him and the knee bump was awkward as well because touching anyone in a way that wasn’t meant to be damaging or at the very least menacing wasn’t something he did, but he wanted her to know he meant it

“Don’t thank me yet, you may end up with gangrene or without a nose–”

“Tina–”

“Or with a sick scar, and you’ll only need a leather jacket to be a bona fide bad boy.” She said with a smile returning the knee bump with the kind of affectionate ease Gavin knew he wouldn’t achieve even in 20 years time.

“Tina?” He said after a while

“Hmm”

“Was it Edward like the fucking stupid vampire or Edward like Scissorhands with the fucked up face?”

“I rather not answer your trick question” she said as she hugged her chicken and the album looped.

“Gavin?”

“Hmm”

“In a few years I’ll have a lovely girlfriend and you’ll have a sweet boyfriend and we’ll do dumb double date things even if you complain about them being fucking stupid all the time, we’ll know you secretly like them” She paused “like I know you secretly like the 1975”

“I’m gonna– so you understand me,” Gavin replied “yeet this friendship right fucking now”

“No–  so you understand me,” Tina retorted “fucking way, I just skinned your face at your request, you are stuck with me forever” She said throwing Claudia back at him

Tina had stuck with him through everything. Despite his resistance she had hugged him for what had felt like hours when he had finally been allowed to come back from that crazy conversion camp feeling not quite broken, but definitely somewhat fissured.

She had sent him every cent she could spare (and he was sure many she couldn’t) when he was 18, with no money, nowhere to go and living in his crappy craiglist sourced car, sending her regular ‘cat emoji’ snapchats. Tina stood next to him at his sister’s funeral and helped him clear her apartment; they went together to the police academy, to her parents’ absolute horror. It took a whole year for them to speak to her again, but Tina wouldn’t budge. He was glad to have her there, someone he could trust to watch his back since with his personality he wasn’t making any friends, and he only got nastier as he got older.

The double dates Tina had imagined never happened. The boyfriends he had had in his early 20’s couldn’t get away from him fast enough. It wasn’t their fault, Gavin didn’t know how to open up, express his feelings, or let himself be vulnerable in front of someone, there was always a voice in his head telling him he couldn’t allow himself to be weak because as soon as he did it would be used against him. Saying he was distant and cold was putting it too nicely, his work was far above everything or anyone else. (and now everything he had painstakingly built would be handed over to the barbie dolls, just like that, all his years of effort were worth the same as a pile of gooey shit.)

At 28 his last serious boyfriend had been in a car accident, one of his brothers called Gavin, his voice was strained and it cracked when he spoke as he told him they were at the hospital waiting for news, and it didn’t look good. Gavin had coldly told him he couldn’t go, he had to work, only realizing he hadn’t even asked what hospital they were in when he left the DPD that night. Noah recovered after a few reconstructive surgeries and months of physical therapy but Gavin didn’t see or hear from him again. When Noah's brothers went to get his things out of Gavin’s apartment, he didn’t feel a thing.

By the time he reached 30 he understood he was too emotionally stunted for it to ever work, love was one of those things that had to be learnt since you were very small and it wasn’t possible to catch up as an adult. Letting someone in wasn’t possible for him, so he kept it to one night stands he never took farther than that, the more anonymous the better, a business transaction. As he neared 40 he was becoming a card-carrying misanthrope.

If Gavin were a woman many jokes would be made about dying alone, friendless and unloved and being eaten by cats, but he was a man, a legitimately dangerous one, so no one said a word and Gavin always left one of his windows open, so if he did die unexpectedly either on the job, or in his apartment, his cats wouldn’t starve inside, although as long as Tina stuck around he knew he didn’t have to worry about them, and it seemed she was taking ‘forever’ seriously– because of course she would, and she also took it upon herself to remind Gavin of things he’d rather leave alone and forgotten.

Like how a few days before Connor arrived at the station and the fucking androids started their bullshit Pinocchio Revolution, when the world still made a modicum of sense, Gavin was on his way home from having one or two drinks at a bar when he saw Leo. 

Maybe it was because Gavin’s eyes kept finding him when he was brought in at the station that he immediately spotted him in the crowd, being led by the hand by that puke haired douchebag  from the warehouse. As if that wasn’t enough to set an alarm, the way Leo was walking screamed danger. Gavin had seen him high and drunk –more often than not both at once– but he’d never seen him like this, never as hesitant, or as unsteady on his feet. It wouldn’t be as obvious to someone outside the police force, but it was clear to Gavin, Leo wasn’t high or drunk; he looked drugged

“Shit” Gavin said under his breath, pushing out of the way anyone he had to, be it a 70 year old grandmother, a 13 year old kid, or that woman who fell losing her balance on her high heel stilettos, to reach them as fast as he could

“Hey!” Gavin shouted “Hey, I’m talking to you, dipshit!” Gavin took Leo’s wrist, yanking him away from the unwashed douchebag. Leo winced, Gavin had pulled too hard and the fucker hadn’t let go, a hyena and a leopard fighting over treasure.

“but if it isn’t the funny little pet,” The douchebag replied, unbothered as only men that think they are at the very top of the food chain are

“You can shut the fuck up” Gavin snarled, so loudly the near passerby stopped to stare, that was just as well, “Hey, Manfred!” Gavin said trying to get Leo to look at him, but he seemed almost completely out of it, it was surprising he was standing.

“You know how it is with him,” the douchebag said “I found him in a bar nine beers deep, crying about his daddy again. I gave him something to make him feel better about it, and now I’m collecting the payment” The slimy bastard gave Gavin a once over “Look, I’m down with sharing, he won’t remember anything, you can go back to be his little pet tomorrow, so come with or fuck off”

“One more word out of your fucking mouth and I’ll splatter your brains all over the sidewalk” Gavin pointed his gun at him and he felt himself baring his teeth. His gun wasn’t loaded; he had gone to the shooting range and didn’t bother to reload after. Loaded or not he wasn’t supposed to use his gun like this; he could be admonished for it. He’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

“Are you mental?” the douchebag said, still irritatingly calm

A calm most of the passerby didn’t share; there was some screaming, some running, Gavin saw the stiletto woman –the picture of a 50’s trophy wife or an 80’s playboy bunny, elaborately done platinum blonde hair, impeccable make up, and a deep cleavage even gay men or straight women would have a hard time not staring at– she had actually chased after him to give him a piece of her mind, and now she was getting out her phone

“Police?” Gavin asked

She nodded confidently at the man holding the gun. _‘Very ballsy of her’_ Gavin thought at first, and then he realized, she knew what was happening, she could see it just as plainly as he could. The douchebag took that as his chance, he pushed Leo towards Gavin’s gun and sprinted away

“Fuck!” Gavin spat, placing his useless gun back in its holster and letting Leo fall in favor of chasing after the douchebag. Leo wasn’t in immediate danger among the passerby (Gavin thought he saw the bunny go to him as the chase started) but he’d always be in danger if Gavin didn’t catch the fucker.

Gavin chased him for about three blocks and then a labyrinth of dark, deserted back streets where the lack of light worked in the fucker’s favor, he was fast, but red-ice was a parasite that not only ate at your mind, it also took big bites out of your physical condition, it wasn’t long before he started losing speed while Gavin could still go for miles, no problem.  He was about to reach him when the fucker, realizing he wasn’t getting away, turned around, lunging at him brandishing a ka-bar knife.

The piece of shit may be slightly stronger than him, red-ice may make him impervious to pain, but his speed, reflexes and endurance were second-rate in comparison to the detective’s.

Gavin didn’t step backwards; he lunged forward as well, pushing the fucker’s arm downwards with ease. He grabbed the fucker’s knife wielding wrist with his right hand and locked his arm with his left. The detective forced the knife out of the douche’s hand hearing bones crack, straightened up with the knife now in his grasp, the hyena bared his teeth as he put the knife to the fucker’s throat in one smooth, agile movement; that moment of stillness while the douche pulled his head back, instinctively trying to get away from the sharp edge, was all the detective needed to twist and secure the turd’s arms to his back.

“Get off me, cunt!” The douche protested sounding out of breath, but not noticing or caring about his broken fingers

Gavin dragged him back not without resistance. The detective didn’t look at him or said a word as they walked in the dark, he only clenched his jaw focusing every ounce of willpower and self-control he had not to give in and gut the fucker alive.

“Police Department!” Gavin boomed when he reached their starting point, flashing his badge randomly at the still alarmed and confused crowd, noticing two patrol cars had pulled over since, one with Wilson and an useless piece of plastic and the other with Chris and Tina, because sometimes the universe threw him a bone.

“Wilson, I need handcuffs here” Gavin passed on the knife,  the red-ice and other fucking crap he’d gotten from the fucker’s pockets and the piece of shit itself to Wilson, letting him do the honors of reading the turd its rights and burying it in the system.

When he was done with that he searched for the dumbass of the year, and there he was, sitting sideways in the back seat of Tina’s patrol car. Tina was standing near him, trying to get him to drink some water, the playboy bunny was there too, she had conjured a physician’s bag out of somewhere and appeared to be doing a medical check on him.  

“Hey, Manfred!” Gavin said when he reached them, placing his arm on the top of the car, leaning down slightly, but Leo didn’t react to that

“Hey, Leo!” Gavin tried again, that made him turn to look at him “do you know who I am?” Gavin asked

Leo’s eyes were unfocused and sleepy, he looked at him in silence for a long time; so long Gavin was about to repeat his question when Leo finally spoke  

“Your lips are so pretty, and your eyes are very pretty too, the color of like–” Leo slurred “sorta like a fat pigeon, y’know, grey with like, little shiny bits of green, even kinda purple, pretty– fat– pigeon eyes”

Tina and even the bunny chuckled; Gavin didn’t have time to do anything about it because Leo reached out gently to touch his face

“Does it hurt? I always mean to ask you” Leo said, with a slight, worried frown, tracing Gavin’s scar so very softly with his cold fingers. Gavin held his breath involuntarily like that one time he’d seen a deer and he’d tried to stand so still not to frighten him. After a moment Leo took his hand away just as suddenly as that deer had run away, and just like that time it left Gavin wondering if it had really happened.

“Yo!, Gavin, I feel really sick,” Leo said trying to curl into himself in the back seat, ”I think I’m having a super bad trip this once, I’ve never been this stoned”

“Should we take him to the hospital?” Tina asked

“No hospital–” Leo said immediately “I just– I just want to go home, please” he added, curling into himself again, sounding tired and distressed in a way that made Gavin’s stomach twist

Tina turned to the doctor; it fell on her because Gavin was still looking at Leo.

“Your call,” The doctor said with a smile, her pretty platinum blonde hair bounced as she shook her head slightly “He’ll be fine, he’ll sleep it off, the biggest risk right now would be him chocking, but if he has someone to watch over him for a few hours, make sure that doesn’t happen, he can go home.”

“Fine, let’s get you home then” Gavin said, taking Leo’s arm as if to help him out of the patrol car

“He isn’t going anywhere, you are going in” Tina said firmly “Chris and I will give you a ride”

Gavin gave her a short nod, he knew when it was useless arguing with Tina, and looking at the state Leo was in, he wouldn’t last a block. Then he looked at the bunny again as she gathered her things, she had taken off her stilettos and one of her ankles looked swollen, her dress and her tights were torn and dirty where she had fallen on them, she had scrapped her knee and the palms of her hands.   

“Sorry for–“ Gavin said awkwardly pointing in the general direction of her ruined things and her swollen ankle, trying to sound apologetic but failing and somehow managing to say the word ‘sorry’ in the tone of an insult  

“Apology accepted,” the bunny said regardless, with a pretty nod of her head “I would do exactly the same if I saw my love in that sort of trouble.”

Gavin felt himself frown at that one word, as if it were in another language and he didn’t quite understand it, but she didn’t seem to notice

“He’ll be fine” she assured him again with a sympathetic smile as she stepped away from the patrol car 

Gavin closed Leo’s door and got in himself. Tina talked with the bunny for a few more minutes and saw her to a taxi before getting in the driver’s seat.

“Where to?” Tina said as she started the engine

Leo managed to slur his address a few times, only one or two words made sense the rest was useless gibberish, but Chris repeated it for her

“I’m shocked you could understand all of that” Tina said

Chris smiled “I didn’t, I was one year ahead of him in high school. I went to a few parties at that address”

“Hidden lore, Chris!” She said

“Does that count as hidden lore?” He smiled

“Absolutely! I have a few questions for you, I’ll ask you later” Tina said looking at Gavin through the rear view mirror, Gavin only scoffed and turned to look out the window.

They had to stop twice for Leo to throw up, the second time they weren’t fast enough and one of Gavin’s boots caught most of it, but that seemed to make Leo feel better. He placed his head on Gavin’s shoulder and curled up to his arm. Gavin didn’t shake Leo away and ignored the curious look Chris gave him.

“Is this it?” Tina said, as they came to a stop in front of an unreal apartment building

“Yup,” Chris replied, the top touched the cloudy night sky, all glass and complex metalwork twisting in complicated patterns, with heavy doors that didn’t let you look even into the foyer, let’s the peasant gaze lower the real estate value. “I always felt like I’d be charged for breathing their air” Chris added as he and Tina stared at the building in awe

“Their toilets must flush with Fiji water” Tina said

Gavin only scoffed and Tina climbed out of the car to open the rear door

“Wake the fuck up, Manfred!” Gavin said irritably as he got out of the back seat

“Gav” Tina said, putting a hand on his arm “He’s currently unavailable.”

She was right, Leo looked more than unavailable, he was even drooling a little

“For fucks sake” Gavin said as the terrible realization finally hit him “Are you fucking kidding me? Shit!” Gavin spat as he leaned in into the backseat, pulling Leo towards him the best he could, carefully placing one of his arms under Leo’s knees while with the other he supported his back and lifted him up of the seat and out of the car.

“You got him?” Tina said

“Yeah”

“Do you have his key?” Chris asked from inside the car. Gavin stared blankly at Tina

“The key to Buckingham palace and the apartment” Tina explained

“Right. No” Gavin said, realizing he had expected Leo to open the door.

“Let’s see. Excuse me” Tina said to Leo before patting down all his pockets without hesitation until she found his wallet, going through it as well when she did “Here we are, this should be the card key”

She walked towards the door of the building, Gavin followed her, while Chris looked like he was about to burst a vein, looking ahead of him, trying to pretend he wasn’t there and thus he had seen nothing.

Gavin suspected he looked the same, as he thought how he should have carried Leo over his shoulder like a potato sack, like they taught you to carry your fellow officers at the academy if you had to, it would have been easier, his hands would be freer, and yet here he was, looking like some fucking halfwit about to carry his beloved new bride through the threshold of the stately home his family had owned for generations– Fuck!

When they reached the door Tina swiped Leo’s card key, the touch screen turned green and flashed Leo’s name as the door opened welcoming him in.

“Don’t forget his card key” Tina said, placing the plastic card between Gavin’s fingers, “and here, take his wallet I’m not putting it back, just– keep it safe, and a bonus” Tina said taking a little card out of her pocket  “she said this is a really good rehab clinic” Tina placed the card with the wallet inside of Gavin’s jacket pocket  “call me if you need anything, fat pigeon” She said as she walked back to her patrol car.

“You are never getting fucking free fries from me again, Chen!” Gavin shouted at her,

“That’s exactly what a fat pigeon would say!” she shouted back with a smile as she got into the car

Gavin carried Leo into the foyer, not wasting time looking around he went straight to the elevator, but before the doors closed another man got in looking just as you’d imagine a banker would, with a stick far up his ass. The elevator started to move up with a few pleasant clicking sounds, the banker looked at Leo still in Gavin’s arms and scoffed

“What–  the fuck–  are you looking at, asswipe! Fuck off!” Gavin barked at him with the voice he used in raids, the banker immediately backed up to a corner of the elevator, nervously looking at the emergency button; Gavin clicked his tongue as the doors opened and the asswipe tripped over himself to get out, his floor was much lower than Leo’s, Gavin noticed.

“If you see something say something, motherfucker” the detective muttered as he negotiated Leo’s weight in his arms when they reached his floor “fucking piece of shit, I could be any sort of pervert– Phck!” Gavin said, he accidentally bumped Leo’s head against the door frame as he swiped the card key awkwardly in the identification panel and pushed the door open. Luckily you needed brains to get brain damage and it was apparent Leo had none.

As soon as he walked into the apartment all the lights came on. The living space had warm, golden lighting, giving it a secure shelter feel, especially in contrast with the dark outside; apparently when you lived this high up you didn’t have to worry about curtains, the floor to ceiling windows looked into the night and the city was only a blurry sea of fairy lights, everything in sight was delicate and obviously absurdly expensive, and just like the people that inhabited them, these sort of ridiculous places always smelled inexplicably nice, there was an airy, woodsy scent, that mixed with the warm light suggested safety and comfort. This was more like it, much closer to what he imagined when he looked at Leo, not that other nasty shithole.

“You are a fucking mess” Gavin said to Leo’s deaf ears, dropping him in the plush couch and turning him over to better prevent any choking, all of this was done quite indelicately, almost harshly to make up for carrying him, he went to the kitchen and filled the biggest glass he could find with water and put it on the coffee table, hopefully Leo would actually drink it when he woke up.  

_‘Trash can, trash can’_ Gavin thought, finding a paper basket that looked far too good to be used for puking but it would have to do

“Can you hear me, dipshit? If you gonna puke again try to do it in the fucking can.” Gavin shouted as if that would make Leo hear him, at the same time that he placed his hand ever so gently on Leo’s shoulder blade, but Leo didn’t stir “or whatever, it’s your furniture so who gives a fuck”

Gavin straightened up and looked idly around the apartment, he walked over the grey hardwood floor feeling a bit lost, wanting to turn some lights off but not having any idea of how to go about that, he couldn’t see any switches on the walls, and he wasn’t about to talk to the air and ask it to do it for him, this looked like one of those fart and the dishwasher starts places. Technology was a fucking mistake.

Everything was spotless and thus much cleaner than he expected, but in a place like this a maid probably came to do the clean up eight times a week. So someone would give a fuck if Leo puked outside the trashcan after all.

Then Gavin noticed everything was beautiful but minimalist and empty, that wasn’t like Leo, it was too impersonal. The apartment of someone who doesn’t think of it as home, of someone who doesn’t put any effort into making the place their own, and he had been here since high school? It looked like he had just moved in that week.

Maybe his bedroom would hold more of his personality, Gavin was sure (the detective’s deductions were rarely wrong, and in this one he was absolutely right) that he wouldn’t see a proper bed, only a mattress, one that was too good to be on the floor and yet there it would be, with messy but fresh, and completely ludicrous designer sheets, pushed all the way to the corner of those huge windows so he could look at the city lights in the dark like at the stars in an upside-down night sky. Yeah, that was exactly the type of impractical whim Leo would have, but Gavin didn’t want to open that Pandora box (and free the drug paraphernalia that surely was sleeping there and he’d have the urge to destroy and report). This whole ridiculous scenario was fucking awkward; it already felt like too much, looking around the living room of the lonely apartment. 

Gavin who never clocked out, who was always and foremost a detective, couldn’t help but notice things. All the lights coming on as soon as you stepped in, so Leo didn’t like to arrive home and only see the dark. The cheap paperbacks on the table with the cracked spines, coffee stained and water damaged pages of books that are re-read often and taken everywhere. Next to those, playing cards? Gavin fanned them out. One of them had two cats and a sword and read ‘justice’. The next one was more sinister, a bat with red eyes ‘the hanged man’ Gavin didn’t care for that one, the third and last one read ‘strength’ and had the picture of a lion on it. In the lower tray of the small center table there was a single coffee table book of taxidermy art prints, that didn’t seem like something Leo would be interested in, a present from his father perhaps? Gavin turned it over to read the back, there was a black and white photo of the artist and it told Gavin it was an in memoriam collection 1985 – 2026, she looked oddly familiar.

When Gavin looked towards the empty bookshelf he realized why. There was one single picture in it. Leo in his teens, standing happily next to the woman in the back of the taxidermy book, her hair was the color of dark-chocolate, fluffy, and perhaps alive if the way it twisted in every direction was any indication, just like Leo’s. She also had Leo’s soft doe-brown eyes (or more accurately Leo had hers) in the picture they also shared the same smile, but Gavin had never seen Leo smile like that.

The only other item in the bookshelf was a weird taxidermy globe, a little brown mouse with bright black eyes wearing a cute lion costume, so meticulously made, with stitches so tiny, it was like the mice had made it themselves, next to him a slightly bigger but identical brown mouse wearing a mermaid one, a little fishtail, tied to the mouse’s waist like an apron with sequin scales in different shades of blue and purple, even a tiny crown made out of detailed resin seashells. They were standing in the same poses than in the picture, a little plaque on the base read Leo & Lorelei 2026.

“No wonder you are a fucking weirdo, pigeons and smoke ghosts, weird cards and all that crap” Gavin said.

Before his accident many of Carl Manfred’s antics made the news, it turned out not only one but both of Leo’s parents were certified nuts, completely off-center if not plainly bizarre, he hadn’t had a chance. 

Gavin placed Leo’s wallet and the card of the rehab clinic next to the globe; he took all the books from the table and the weird cards and put them in the bookshelf so they wouldn’t get splashed with puke. He left the lion card ‘strength’ on top.

Not knowing what else to do he sat on the floor facing Leo, his back against the coffee table, maybe it was the atmosphere of this place with its false sense of security, or that it was too awkward sitting in silence, or that he was finally losing it, but Gavin started to talk.

“I like cats. A lot. I have five.” Gavin tried out, directing his words more to the puke can than to the sleeping, newly brain damaged idiot “my oldest is 17. Her name is cricket, because her meow sounds like a cricket, allegedly.” he stopped, hearing the sound of his own voice almost echoing because the apartment was so empty, relieved the smart home system or whatever that shit was called didn’t answer back or turned on an alarm or started playing dubstep or some bullshit.

“She was my sister’s cat, she named her. I told her it was a fucking dumb name and she laughed and said “Listen…” and we stood there in silence for almost 20 minutes until the kitten meowed and she laughed and said “see, just like a cricket!” I didn’t see, but I never saw her happier than that day. I got cricket when my sister died. I think she only waited for me to turn 21 to go” Gavin continued, deciding he could tell Leo things he hadn’t said aloud before because Leo wouldn’t remember them, he wasn’t even listening and the day was fucking weird already so he could as well talk to himself like a crazy person “I had just gotten into the police academy, she made sure I could fend for myself before she left. She also made sure I wouldn’t be the one to find her. Left me a long note. left me the cat.”

“I’m angry at her, and at Anderson, and at you” Gavin said looking from the puke bucket to Leo “Why can’t you people keep it together, life is garbage but why can’t you people just fucking deal with it? Why do you all have to be so weak? Anderson is not the only person who has lost someone; you are not the only one with a fucking asshole for a father.”

“Wanna hear about trash parents” Gavin scoffed “When I was 16 I kissed a boy, the dickwad told everyone. My father heard about it, he smashed a bottle right in my face. Tina patched me up. I tell everyone the scars are from a bar fight, and I have a fair share of those, but my face is my father’s work. I would like nothing better than to fuck up that bastard’s life, but at the end he still wins, I have nothing on him and I turned out just like him, an abusive asshole. It’s a garbage world filled up with either abusive assholes or weak idiots, mostly abusive assholes because the weak idiots die out. And I can’t die. I won’t give him that satisfaction.”

“For almost a second I thought you were an asshole too but, nah, you are one of the fucking weak idiots, hurting yourself in every way you can find, whining to high heaven because your daddy doesn’t pay attention to you. Childish, spoiled, and weak” Gavin almost snarled, and then shook his head slightly “but that also means there’s still something sweet to you, doesn’t it?”

“There’s this dumbass cat living in the parking lot of my apartment building. A fancy bastard, no way he didn’t come from a breeder, Tina and I tried to find his owners, nobody showed up. I named him Leo because he reminded me of you, an abandoned angry thing. You two hiss and throw your angry tantrums because you were thrown away like trash once, you bite and live hiding in the muck like a matted ugly pest when all you really want is being back inside with someone to love and spoil you,” Gavin scoffed, then the taxidermy globe caught his eye again and he looked at it for a while “but someone really loved you once, so you actually know how to love back, don’t you? That’s your problem”

Gavin scoffed to himself and didn’t speak again, the silence was only broken by Leo’s retching, blindly if anyone cares to know, the detective had to take the trash can every time to catch whatever came out, it got his hand a few times, until Leo curled up into a more natural sleeping position, his breathing becoming deep and steady.

Gavin’s phone chimed. Tina with a simple ‘Everything OK?’ to which Gavin sent the only possible answer ‘lion emoji’ when his phone chimed again with Tina’s reply, Leo stirred.

“Cricket isn’ dumb… ’s cute” Leo mumbled, still slurring all of his words but the distress in his voice was completely gone “... show me... a picture?...“ he said with a deep tired sigh, sleep talking more than anything

“Sure, Manfred. Remind me to show it to you next time you get dragged into the station”

Gavin sat on the apartment’s floor until dawn, he read the taxidermy book, he read a few chapters of one of those paperbacks, leaving only when he was sure Leo wouldn’t be found dead when the maid or the window cleaners arrived in the morning. When Leo was dragged into the DPD soon afterwards (guarantied), nothing was different, he never asked to see cricket’s picture, and he would if he remembered, Leo was shameless.

Then, the same day the plastic detective arrived at the station there was also the report about the fucking android at Carl Manfred’s going berserk and putting Carl Manfred’s son in the hospital. Gavin was not– worried sick that day, he didn’t–  take it out on the plastic prick that was also the beginning of the end of the career that was not– his whole and entire life, and he definitely didn’t– wonder if not seeing Leo at the DPD even once after that meant that he had gotten himself to rehab, or killed.

More importantly, Gavin, just like Leo, absolutely didn’t remember any of the things that had happened that one day, but Tina certainly did, and so did Chris, feeling he had seen something classified that could get him killed if he as much as alluded to it. Every day since had been a trial, because as anyone who’s seen something classified when they shouldn’t, he wanted to talk about it to someone, anyone, maybe he’d call a late night radio show, disguise his voice, tell their audience of flat earthers and alien abductees about the incredible and improbable things he’d seen, only they may believe it, only people far out of their minds would.

 

* * *

[The Hanged Man](https://get.google.com/albumarchive/112868448452435024861/album/AF1QipO1cDMXx-9-SLeZvQszZ_l0Az4Tksy4duYB9vvN/AF1QipOFL5eJo36h_dAJpqw4dOXrIFNcXMpyNycy4Msy), [Strength](https://get.google.com/albumarchive/112868448452435024861/album/AF1QipO1cDMXx-9-SLeZvQszZ_l0Az4Tksy4duYB9vvN/AF1QipOYoEJEF44MoQh8YMD_7xAvIjfEcINOQQb2x0lG)

[The](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XuJDo7-T-s) [19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fxPQUKfim4) [75](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1K93ioXL63c) (ok but [fallinforyou](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3JJxS0gNkE) is like… my gavin/leo song)

Again thanks for taking some of your time to read my words lads, I really appreciate it!


	6. Chapter 6

This was the end of it, he only had to get through one more day, this last fucking art nonsense thing, the last they would be watching over the Manfreds and their messes and then Gavin would be free, and after what Leo had told him the distance could only be welcome. As he waited with the rest of them near the gate for the car that was to take them to the gallery, he realized he had been a complete fucking idiot.

Now that they were going back to their old routines, and Gavin returned to his own apartment at night, he tried to ignore that it felt weirdly empty despite the 5 demons he shared it with, almost uncomfortably so.

In an alarmingly short time he had gotten used to all of it; to be called in for dinner by the housewife, to hear the dumb alarm system saying _“Welcome, Detective Reed”_ admittedly that hadn’t lasted even one day before Leo changed it to a plain ‘Gavin’. No one bothered to change it back.

He’d gotten used to how when he walked into the kitchen after the housewife called him in (they’d never sit in the stuffy dining room, thank fuck) only Leo would be there, more often than not perching on the counter, the dumbass, eating something ridiculous that shouldn’t exist like cotton candy grapes or some other fucking example of man’s hubris. Then they would have dinner and Leo would go on about fuck knows what; the book he was reading, a dumb show he was watching, his doctors or the friends he was making at the clinic, how he was planning to go to the ice rink when he didn’t feel as tired all the time, a few alarming anecdotes from the last blurry 10 years like that one about the creepy basement, or how he had found cat-Leo’s nest with a few of his dad’s brushes in there and was waiting for a good opportunity to return them before they were missed.

Some days Leo would be far too quiet and that meant he was having one of his bad days, those evenings Gavin found himself talking for some goddamned reason, and Leo would do this silly thing, he’d rest his chin on his hand and tilt his head slightly, looking at him like he’d be looking only at him even if they were in a room full of people, when the crap he was saying was the most inane bullshit he could think of, meant only to distract the dumbass for a few minutes.

All of it was fucking idiotic and Gavin hated that he didn’t hate it.

He didn’t hate listening to Leo go on about his nonsense, and he didn’t hate how apparently Leo knew his schedule. Gavin would arrive in the evening and Leo would greet him from whichever stupid place he’d chosen to curl up in, the ugly and impractical spiral staircase, the freezing garden swing and the creepy window seat in the living room were his usual places, he’d look up from his book or his laptop with a bright “you are early!” as if arriving a few minutes before the hour was in any way good news, or a playfully reproachful “you are late, asshole!” if the traffic held him up. Gavin had noticed Leo didn’t start dinner before he arrived, and Gavin hated than he didn’t hate that either.

It was during one of those evenings when he was trying to go back to his usual routine at the precinct when his desk phone lighted up, which was unusual. When he picked up, expecting it to be a mistake the chirpy voice of Sophie from reception spoke

“Detective Reed? You have a call from Detective Nines”

“Okay, yeah, whatever” Gavin said, only to then hear Nines voice on the line

“Detective Reed”

“What the fuck is this about?”

“I was asked to tell you maybe you’d like to check on Mr. Manfred” Nines said coolly, with the air of an offended ice dispenser

“What’s wrong with the old geezer?” Gavin asked, passing his hand through his hair and putting his feet up on his desk “Aren’t the world-class prick and his little housewife the ones in charge of that?”

“I meant, your Mr. Manfred” Nines said, with an annoying stress on the word ‘your’ and Gavin was instantly fucking sorry he had put him on speaker phone, but as he glanced around him only Connor was sitting at his desk, apparently completely taken by his own paperwork, Gavin picked up the receiver “As you know,” the icy voice of the RK900 continued “Simon, the elder Mr. Manfred, and the, as you most accurately put it, world-class prick are going to the anniversary party of one of Mr. Manfred’s friends and I’m escorting them, we expect to return a little before midnight, but the younger Mr. Manfred has decided to stay home since he’s not feeling well. Simon requested me to call you and say, it’s in no way an emergency, but the younger Mr. Manfred could benefit from your company, or so Simon said, although I don’t see or comprehend how anyone would find your company in any way soothing or beneficial in times of pain and ailment, but as Simon was the one requesting for me to call you, I could not refuse”

“Well,” Gavin replied dismissively “so it happens that I’m working, so the younger Mr. Manfred will have to deal with whatever fucking ailments he has on his own”

“Very well” Nines replied simply as he cut the call

The minutes passed by as Gavin pored over his paperwork, or at least that’s what he tried to do, for some reason pages that usually took him only a few minutes were taking him half an hour to complete. Nobody had landlines anymore, everything was computers, and smart phones and Androids, he didn’t have Leo’s phone number, Leo didn’t have his, but if he needed anything the dumbass would call the housewife, wouldn’t he? Unless something happened and Leo couldn’t call–

“Phck!” Gavin said as he realized he’d written the same sentences twice, backspace, backspace, backspace, this shit was going to take him the whole fucking day.

“Detective Reed” Connor said, suddenly standing next to the detective’s desk

“What do you want?” Gavin barked back not bothering to look at him

“If you wish, you can go home.” Connor offered evenly “I’ll finish the rest of the paperwork myself. I’ll tell Captain Fowler you had an emergency to take care of if he wonders about your whereabouts”

“The Manfred Madhouse is hardly home” Gavin scoffed

“I only said you could go home, I didn’t mention the Manor” Connor’s LED flashed an amused shade of yellow, or so it seemed to Gavin

“And why the fuck would I take that good for nothing offer?” Gavin snarled at him to deflect from his Freudian slip “I don’t need some damn upstart to take even more of my space, are you thinking of fucking sabotaging me” Gavin knew he was being stupidly paranoid, but… was he?

“Detective Reed” Connor said patiently “You have looked at the time on your phone 14 times in the last 25 minutes. You are… worried, and I… understand” Connor said thoughtfully “Humans battling an addiction have days when they find themselves more vulnerable. In my experience a difference can be made just by being there so they are not alone with their thoughts, even if it’s hard to see them struggling and even if they may not always appreciate it at the time, particularly… if they are important, if they are family” 

Gavin didn’t look at Connor, he stared at his computer screen, grabbed his phone again and looked at it, the end of his shift was hours away. He wasn’t getting anything done, he could as well go check the idiot hadn’t set the house ablaze and come back.

“Whatever–” Gavin mumbled almost imperceptibly, as he stood up and took his jacket and his phone, only to look back at Connor and add at his normal asshole volume “If you use this to sabotage me in any way I’ll fucking kick your ass”

“I can assure you, if I were to sabotage you I wouldn’t require your absence” Connor said simply, his LED shining a peaceful blue

Gavin only scoffed as he walked away, hurrying out of the precinct before Fowler could ask him anything, his car was still at the mechanic’s but the Manor wasn’t that far, he was thinking if he should walk or take a bus or call a taxi when he passed Hank in the parking lot, just getting out of his car.

“A case?” the Lieutenant asked

“No.” Gavin spat

“Then, where the hell are you going?” Hank said, genuinely surprised 

“None of your business, Anderson”

“Reed,”

Had Hank used his commanding Lieutenant voice Gavin would have kept walking, but he had used his meddling Dad one and Gavin turned to look at him

“Wherever you are going you’ll get there faster if I drive you”

“Aren’t you fucking late already,” Gavin said “Lieutenant?” the word was uttered with so much sarcasm any person hearing it would actually doubt the meaning of the word

Hank shrugged “Who gives a damn about a few more minutes. Get a move on, son!” Hank said getting into the driver seat again

Gavin looked at his phone again “Phck–!” he walked to the car and got in, they sat there in silence for a few seconds until Hank made a gesture with his hands over the wheel, and turned to Gavin raising his eyebrows as if to say, ‘Where to, then?’

“8941 Lafayette Avenue,” Gavin said indifferently

“Thought they were going with Nines to some shindig today“ Hank said as they drove away from the precinct

“Some idiot stayed back,” Gavin said, trying to sound detached “was feeling ill or something, probably just broke a nail”

“We are almost done with that assignment” Hank said as if apropos of nothing

Gavin scoffed “Can’t be over soon enough”

“I’d say, damn glad we got Jericho, having to be around Carl Manfred every day” Hank Inhaled through his teeth “Pass, would get me right back to drinking”

“You don’t like him?” Gavin said puzzled “Is it some old geezer feud?” He added with a grin, interested despite himself “Did he get the best nurse at the geriatric center? Did he park in your walker spot at bingo night once?”

“He could be my father,” Hank replied indignantly “He’s only about 4 years younger than my actual father”

“Fine, you are the junior geezer.” Gavin gave in “Come on– Hank”

Hank drove for another block or two, as if he were thinking of a good place to start

“First time we got Leo at the station he was 13, got busted shoplifting,” Hank said “you know how it is; he was hanging out with some older kids, wanted to impress them.”

“Born a dumbass” Gavin huffed

“His mother came pick him up, gave him a very colorful earful right there in the middle of the station. She did every single time, that kid didn’t get his spunk from his father, that’s for sure” 

“Spunk is a way to call it”

“He wasn’t a bad kid but he was the type that really wants to belong, impress the older kids, and the type to bottle up what upset him until it blew up like a pressure cooker, not a good combination, but he would have been just fine, he and Lor had it under control, and what they didn’t they would have figured out–“

“Lor?” Gavin said suspiciously

“His mom, I knew her in college, we weren’t close or anything” Hank explained “I was into sports and weight training preparing for the police academy–”

“No one would fucking guess now”

“Laugh all you want while your metabolism is still on your side,” Hank rebuked “Lor was one of the kooky, artsy kids. I held her hair back as she puked in some bushes at a party once”

“Charming story, you should tell it to the dumbass sometime”

“I’m sure she already beat me to it by a few years” Hank said with a fond smile “Another time I arrived at school telling them how this huge owl had crashed right into my car, poor stupid bird didn’t know what hit him, and she asked me to drive her back to take a look at it, and she was kinda cute so of course I said, sure, no problem”

“If you got it on with his mother I can do without the fucking details, Anderson.” Gavin grimaced in disgust

“Well, she wasn’t anyone’s mother then, was she?” Hank said with a smile ignoring Gavin’s complaints, “So, we went. She found it, sad, dead thing. She turned the owl over a few times, checking the wings, the head, looked like an old feather duster to me but she was so excited about it saying it was in perfect condition. I must have looked at her like she had lost all her marbles, and hell did I think so, picking bird corpses with that sort of enthusiasm seemed too serial killery, and then she looked at me and said” Hank paused for a moment as if trying to remember exactly right, he chuckled  “She said, ‘bitching, Hank! an owl this fucking big can go for 400 bucks if I stuff it, and that’s lowballing it, when I sell it I’ll give you 100 for murdering it for me, such a fucking clean hit, not even one cut on this fat motherfucker’”

“Sounds familiar” Gavin said , trying not to grin

“That kid didn’t get his vernacular from his father either, I didn’t care for the way she put it. Then we drove back to school, the dead bird neatly arranged on her lap all the ride, I still remember her perfume lingered in my car for the entire day, and the damn dead bird mites in my car seats for much longer than that,” Hank shivered “I don’t know how they didn’t bother her, they must have been all over her too”

“Guess that’s how she built up resistance so later she could go down on–“

“Keep your details to yourself and I’ll keep mine, Reed” Hank interrupted

Gavin huffed out a laugh “Did she stuff your mite infested murder victim?” He asked

“She did that alright, asked if I wanted to see it. That stupid bird looked damn enormous with its wings spread, she set it as if it were swooping down on something, it really did look just as if it were alive when she was done with it, real beautiful, kept her word too and gave me the 100 when she sold it, I felt a bit like a hit man” Hank smiled “Then when I was an officer I issued her a bunch of tickets, and a few years later took Leo home, or called her to come to the station to get him, only a handful of times.”

“Is that why he’s always nicer to you than to anyone else at the precinct, Lieutenant Anderson this, Lieutenant Anderson that,”

“Don’t be jealous, son, I could be his father”

“I’m not fucking jealous,” Gavin spat, and then invalidating his previous statement completely “and I’m told he takes after his mother and his mother went and hooked up with a crusty old geezer, how fucking old was he, 60?”

“I think around 48, 47?,” Hank tried to remember “few years younger than I am now, anyway”

“and she was?”

“25”

“Yeah, there you go” Gavin said with a dry nod

“Granted, she didn’t have the best taste,” Hank agreed “when Lor passed and her kid went to Carl Manfred, the prick set him up in an apartment and that was that,”

“His own apartment,” Gavin said sarcastically “that sounds like hell, Hank”

“Are you kidding me?” Hank rebuked “He was 16, that’s still a kid, far too young and too angry to be all by himself. A 16 year old still needs help figuring stuff out, getting themselves to doctors and all that sort of thing, he had just lost all the support he had, all the fucking family he knew”

Hank didn’t have to tell Gavin how at 16 Leo had been lonely and angry, the sort of person that felt too deeply for their own good, and how he had needed a safe place to gather his pieces. Gavin could see all of that plainly in the man Leo was now and all the shadows pulling him down. What Leo had wanted then more than anything was not to be left alone, and that was exactly what he had gotten

“We saw him all the time after that,” Hank continued “but care to guess how many times I saw Carl Manfred at the station?”

“Wouldn’t think that many” Gavin himself hadn’t seen him at the precinct even once

“Zilch, he always sent one of those lawyers you dislike so much, even before his accident. The rest you have seen yourself” Hank drummed on the wheel a few times as they waited at a red light, Gavin had known Hank for long enough to recognize that nervous tic, it meant he wasn’t sure if he should say what he was thinking, he always did.

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to have Cole back, anything” Hank said as the light turned green, his voice serious and low “The few years I had him are invaluable to me; I don’t care for or want to understand a man that can treat his boy like he’s a piece of furniture that can be stored away when being a father is inconvenient” Hank tapped on the wheel again “I guess that’s why having an android for a son was appealing to Manfred at first, a son that always will do exactly what you tell him and that you can store away when you get bored of it, no problemo. I guess now it turns out he has two sons he can’t get rid of so easily, not that he would at this point, people do change but I’m a stubborn old dog, and it still pisses me off to see someone who could ditch what I would have wanted to keep more than anything in the world”

“Most fathers are much fucking worse than that” Gavin argued drily only to see what Hank would say

“That’s true alright.”  Hank said and his voice got harder “I dislike Carl Manfred, but if I saw some of those others I’d use them as a damn punching bag in a heartbeat”

They didn’t talk after that, Hank turned on the radio, metal track after metal track, all of them sounded exactly the same to Gavin, he couldn’t even tell if they were the same band or not. When they came to a stop in front of the Manor, Gavin opened his door and then hesitated

“I saw you with Cole,” Gavin said awkwardly “you were a fucking great dad, Hank. You still are” he shrugged

“Talking of people changing, aren’t you a hell of a lot cuter lately” Hank said, trying to ruffle Gavin’s hair

“Fuck off, Anderson” Gavin said flipping him off as he leaned out of his reach

Hank laughed “Wouldn’t lean away if it was Lor’s boy the one trying it, would ya?”

Gavin thought he absolutely would “You aren’t going to fucking tell me you are his real dad or some bullshit are you?” Gavin said, with the utmost apprehension

“What, wouldn’t want me as a father in law?”

Gavin scoffed “Don’t get too fucking full of yourself but you’d be a step up from his old man, he’s a nut, guess it figures that dumbass is a weirdo too”

“Well, poor kid didn’t have a chance,” Hank agreed “both his parents fruitcakes of the first water”

“I thought you liked his mom, fucking disturbing to know, by the way”

“I did, charming girl, but a charming fruitcake is still a fruitcake.” Hank smiled his meddling dad smile “No shame in liking them though”

“You got the fucking wrong idea” Gavin said getting out of the car

“Reed,” Hank called leaning a bit on the passenger seat before Gavin closed the door “I know I don’t have to tell you this, but people that are important to us can disappear from one day to the other, so just– it’s good that you are here, if Jeffrey gets nosy I got you covered, son”

“See you tomorrow, Anderson” Gavin said as flatly as he always did, at least in the few occasions he even bothered

“Have a good day, kid”

Gavin closed the car door and walked (walked slowly) to the front door of the Manor, if he rushed in Hank would only get more stupid ideas in his feeble, old man head,.

_[Alarm deactivated: Welcome, Gavin]_

“Yeah, yeah fucking– things” Gavin really couldn’t stand the smart home nonsense “Manfred?” he called out as he checked his usual places, the cool light of the bright cloudy day streamed through the windows and nothing was out of place but everything felt too quiet, that may as well be his own nerves, not that Gavin would ever acknowledge them. He went up the stairs two at a time, thankfully there was no one to witness that.

“Manfred?” he repeated knocking at his bedroom door, going in when he didn’t get any answer after knocking twice, the room was just as empty as the rest of the house, but the ugly cat was pawing at the bathroom door

“You have one fucking job, trashbag” Gavin said to the cat, pushing him gently out of the way with his foot “Manfred, you there?” still no reply “Manfred, for fucks sake, if you don’t answer I’m going in right now!” but his threat was met only with silence still.

Gavin pushed the door handle down, immediately relieved when the door clicked open, at least he wouldn’t have to chop the door down like some fucking psycho. He walked into the bathroom, the light was on and Leo was in the tub, resting his arms and his head on the edge of it with his eyes closed just as if he were sleeping, he still was in the t-shirt and pants he wore to sleep, and Gavin tried to push away all the bathroom suicide scenes he’d seen. Most people decided to end it still dressed even when in the tub, but the water was clear and nothing seemed out of sorts. Except for getting into a full tub still dressed and sleeping in it, but Leo would, apparently.

“Leo?” Gavin said softly as he reached out to touch his head, he’d barely brushed his hair with his fingers when Leo startled up, immediately wide awake, causing water to splash out of the tub.

“What the fuck, Gavin?!” Leo said, taking those damn stupid headphone bluetooth things out of his ears, so small and unobtrusive Gavin hadn’t seen them “You scared me half to death!”

“Me? I scared you?!” Gavin shouted “Fuck you, Manfred!”

“That makes no freaking sense,” Leo argued back, “you are in my bathroom, I thought I was alone and no one was supposed to arrive until like midnight”

“I thought you–“ _had hurt yourself_ , was what Gavin almost said but he caught himself, “you, goddamn– what the fuck are you doing? Soaking in your tears, what?!”

“I’m taking a bath,” Leo said, sounding rightfully annoyed “you may not be familiar with the concept”

“Most people take their clothes off to do that, dumbass”

“You wish, jackass!” Leo replied, but his teeth chattered as he did so, the water in the tub was cold, but he still felt like something inside him was going to burn him to a crisp

Leo had woken up early that day, meaning to go with everyone to the anniversary of some people he didn’t know, but Leo thought it was really sort of charming, the two women had been together for 50 years and counting and always celebrated their anniversary with a lavish party, being with someone for that long seemed quite incredible to him. He had been looking forward to it, but as he was getting ready in the morning, it was soon clear he wouldn’t make it out of the house that day. He explained this to his dad and Simon and it was decided he should stay. Simon offered to stay behind with him but that Leo was missing out on the fun didn’t mean Simon had to miss out too.

“You should go, I’ll be fine.” Leo assured him “maybe bring me a treat? Those parties have mad good stuff”

“I’ll do my best” Simon told him with a smile and then he went to talk to Nines

When they were gone Leo changed back into his pajamas and it was all downhill from there. He was soon sweating even from weird, uncomfortable places like behind his knees or just his legs in general, his neck and chest were damp and his clothes felt sticky. His heart beat so uncomfortably he could almost feel his chest rising with every fast and irregular beat, his mouth was dry and so were his eyes, his head pulsed and his lungs felt too hot, when he coughed he almost expected ash to come out of his mouth, and he imagined his lungs full of soot because that’s how they felt like, dry and hot and asphyxiating.

He knew he had to be patient, with red-ice the withdrawal symptoms could last up to a year, the weird burning being the most distinctive symptom of it, making you crave red-ice just to calm it down. Leo had tried to fall asleep, managing to get only to that uncomfortable ‘not sleep but not awake either, probably will start hallucinating any second now’ stage. After minutes of that he jumped out of his bed, and ran straight to the bathroom, where he threw up once and then turned the tub faucet on. He got in still in his night t-shirt and pants, feeling dizzy because he couldn’t breathe. 

Submerged in the cold water the suffocating feeling got less stressing, so he closed his eyes and rested his head on the edge of the tub as he listened to music loud enough that it would help him drown his thoughts out and he waited for everything to get a bit better, and then suddenly Gavin was there, and Leo was really so glad, he really hated to be alone in general, but it really was so much worse when he was feeling sick or like he really needed a hit.

“I, just” Leo continued trying to explain himself “I’m not feeling that great. I was feeling so tired I tried to sleep, but then I jolted awake and felt like I was literally, probably going to go up in flames, do you think that’s possible? to just-“ Leo mimicked an explosion with his hands “burn up? When I was like 12 I read this story about spontaneous combustion, you know, people going up in flames just out of nowhere, and all that was left of them was a pile of ashes and their feet.” He said looking up at Gavin, not really understanding why he was confessing one of his most irrational and stupid fears, it seemed pretty dumb but he did it anyway “It really freaked me out, and then I didn’t think of it again until now, when it really feels like I may just literally burn up from the inside”

“Is that why you are taking the ice cold bath?” Gavin asked, as he touched the water briefly, it only would be colder if you put actual ice in there

“It does make me feel better about it, but it also really helps with the burning sensation” Leo said tapping his chest “It’s been ten months, when is it going to be over?” Leo put his forehead on his knees his movements were slow and they made pleasant water sounds that echoed in the bathroom, he knew he sounded childish and whiny but he was too tired and frustrated not to be childish and whiny “I’m so fucking anxious so often sometimes I can’t even sleep at night, my hands are sweaty and they shake, or I feel like I can’t breathe, my legs hurt, my chest hurts, my throat hurts, my head hurts” He stopped as he felt a disgusting taste reaching his mouth “fuck, okay, I’m literally going to puke” he warned and only had time to turn to his side, so he wouldn’t throw up inside the tub. Gavin had the presence of mind and was fast enough to grab the trash can and place it in front of Leo, he had done it before after all, only this time with the advantage of Leo being actually able to aim.

“Fuck, the smell, fucking gross!” Leo said after heaving a few times and spitting the last of it in the trashcan “sorry, super classy of me”  

“I’ve seen you do much worse, dumbass” Gavin replied, rolling out a big piece of toilet paper and handing it to him.

“I’m so fucking tired of this shit– ” Leo’s frustration spoke for him, it wasn’t meant for Gavin, he was only talking out loud because it always helped him process things especially when he was feeling very low “it feels even worse than at the start, it’s like it’s going to last forever”

“You know that with that crap withdrawal can last up to a year, if it feels fucking worse is because you are doing better” Gavin said seriously

“You don’t think it’s like, I don’t know, like loser shit, like super pathetic?” Leo said, leaning on the side of the tub again

“Why the fuck would I think that, you are working hard and you are almost there, dumbass” Gavin replied “If anyone tells you that’s pathetic fucking deck them”

“Okay,” Leo said, smiling slightly and closing his eyes, taking deep, calculated breaths as if breathing hurt him

Gavin stood there for a few minutes, feeling awkward just looking at Leo in the tub, little drops of water dripped from his hair to the floor, and Gavin could see all the thin scars in his arm, paler than his skin, so many so close, they both gave certain texture to his forearm if you looked close but if you didn’t give it more than a fast glance you may not notice them.

“Doing better?” Gavin asked when he noticed Leo’s face and breathing relaxing slightly, he wasn’t about to let the dumbass fall asleep in the tub

Leo breathed in sharply and deeply as he had been actually falling asleep “yeah…” he said opening his eyes “I’m even getting kinda sleepy now”

“Kinda? Get the fuck up, you aren’t sleeping in your fucking ice bath,” Gavin said “Dry clothes?” he asked

“First drawer inside the walk-in closet” Leo said softly, but when Gavin returned with them he hadn’t moved

“Get a move on, dipshit!” Gavin threw a towel at Leo and left his dry clothes next to the sink before exciting the bathroom and closing the door

“Your bedside manner fucking sucks!” Leo shouted after him

He got out of the tub and changed his clothes, brushed his teeth to get rid of the traces of puke taste and half dried his hair, when he came out of the bathroom he saw Gavin standing at the foot of his bed

“Before you crash, help me move this” Gavin said, gesturing towards it

“Alright,” Leo replied, too curious to be contrary only for the sake of it, together they moved Leo’s bed to stand in one side of the room, instead of the middle of it

“If you sleep like this–“

“Against the wall?”

“Yeah, maybe you’ll feel less anxious at night” Gavin shrugged, having second thoughts about this, and feeling like an idiot “I know it’s fucking stupid–“

“It isn’t! It’s cool,” Leo said “I’d try anything, I was on alprazolam for the first like two months, but you can easily get addicted to it, and I’m not great with that, so I had to ask Simon to help me keep track of myself with it, and my doctor took me off it pretty soon, so thank you, like, for real”

“No problem, Manfred, maybe if you actually sleep some at night you’ll be less annoying” Gavin teased

“Though luck, I’ll only be less tired and I’ll be able to be even more annoying” Leo said playfully “Hey, do you want something to eat?”

“I thought you were about to pass out”

“Well, I’m kinda hungry now” Leo said, going out of the room with the ugly cat following behind his heels

Gavin followed them to the kitchen deciding that was less awkward than staying alone in the room. Once there, Leo started to set up the coffee maker before doing anything else, although his hands had an obvious tremor as he did so and he struggled slightly with simple things like pouring the water or setting the pot.

“Should you be having coffee with your anxiety thing?” Gavin asked, gesturing towards his hands

“’Course not, but it’s not for me, it’s for you”

Gavin didn’t know how to answer to that; a simple ‘thank you’ would do, maybe a more casual thanks. Thank you, or thanks, maybe a more dismissive ‘whatever’ would be better, or both ‘thank you or whatever’ or would that sound like he was embarrassed?

“Gavin?”

“What?” Gavin spat, as he did when he was caught distracted

“I asked if you take sugar with it” Leo said “Jerk!” he added without any bite behind it

“Yeah, let me do that before you burn yourself” Gavin replied, taking the mug from Leo’s trembling hands “Go get your food or whatever”

“I really just feel like having a few crackers” Leo said, taking a small bag of rice and seaweed crackers from the pantry, and then he tried his luck “Wanna watch some tv? Or maybe a movie?”

“Yeah, sure” Gavin said flatly, without taking his eyes off his coffee mug and all the sugar he was dumping into it, so he didn’t see the nervous way in which Leo bit his lip for a second before asking the question, or the way in which he lighted up when he heard the answer.

They moved on to the living room, where each took one side of the couch, Leo put up his feet up on it, and his cat climbed up too, curling up in the crook of Leo’s neck. They had been watching an inane movie for a few minutes when Leo’s phone started to light up on the table with a few incoming messages. Leo picked it up and texted back, only for the phone to light up again, Leo picked it up and repeated the process a few more times,

“Everything okay?” Gavin asked, normally he wouldn’t pry, but Leo was starting to rub his thumb against the palm of his hand like he did when he was annoyed.

“Yeah, it’s only this guy I met at the clinic,” Leo replied softly “I’m trying to let him down gently”

“A creep?”

Leo shook his head “He’s actually really nice and sorta cool, but there’s this other guy I have known for a very long time and I really, really like.” Leo said still typing on his phone, “I thought I’d get over him but now that I’m clean it’s only kinda worse, and it wouldn’t be fair to date someone else right now, you know, when I feel like that, my heart wouldn’t be in it, I only would be thinking of that other guy all the time”

“This shithead you are mooning over isn’t some shady fucking red-ice dealer, is he?” Gavin said, acknowledging the weird sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as much as he had his earlier nerves.

“Not at all!  He’s a stand-up kind of guy, the dependable sort” Leo was still focused on his phone, but there was loving, sunny pride in his voice, and if he had looked up, Gavin was sure there would be stars in his eyes “I know I’m always safe when I’m with him”

“Where would you know a blockhead like that from,” Gavin scoffed, then he thought of a terrible possibility, “you aren’t going to fucking tell me it’s Lieutenant Anderson, are you?”

“Ew! no, why, he’s old, he’s like a dad, he went to school with my mom!” Leo said, stretching to kick Gavin’s leg softly “I mean, I’m not saying liking old guys is bad if you do–“

“Fucking stop it right there, I like to keep it within a 10 year radius”

“Yeah, me too” Leo said, with a soft smile

“Did you know Hank killed an owl for your mom once?” Gavin said, eager to change the subject, he really didn’t want to hear any more about this stand up halfwit, although he was relieved to know it wasn’t the Lieutenant or any other grandfather

Leo laughed “Mom named it Hankers, I have pictures, wanna see?”

“Yeah.” Gavin replied drily

Leo rushed to his bedroom and came back with a shoe box full of pictures, which he dumped on the couch to sort through. Half were of taxidermy projects, obviously only meant to keep an archive of them, but the other half were of Leo and his mom, school outings and plays, skating competitions, christmas, halloween and birthday parties, normal, boring, happy family pictures, the kind Gavin didn’t have any of, and Leo had only until age 16. Leo’s mom obviously being from a generation that could take 1000 pictures with their phone and then pick only the absolute best to print, the ones that captured an expression, or someone’s personality, or the atmosphere of a moment exactly right without the full laundry basket looming in the background.

They spent the rest of the evening looking through them and watching movies until Nines and the others got home. –or Gavin did, Leo fell asleep every few minutes and Gavin would have to tell him what had happened or who a new character was–

 

Now, a few days after, they  stood at the gate of the manor waiting for their transport to arrive and as Gavin fought with his feelings about this being their last day with the Manfreds, Leo fought with his trying not to let his annoyance become resentment, but it was a fact that his dad had tricked him.

When his dad asked him to accompany him to an event at an art gallery Leo had thought, stupidly, that it was meant to be only the two of them, but no, of course not, what was he thinking. It was a small comfort that Markus had been tricked just as badly as he had been and that Nines and Gavin were dragged into it.

They all climbed into the car, his dad, Simon and Nines sat on one side, and facing them, Leo with Gavin and Markus at either side. The self driving cars made socializing in a car ride so much easier and organic, the advertisements said, reviving that snug and intimate, vintage train compartment feel, all lies. Honestly it felt claustrophobic and they hadn’t really thought out the sitting accommodations. Markus was tall, the space in the boot was not the most comfortable for him with so much people to share it with, he was practically manspreading and it wouldn’t have been a problem if Leo would dare scoot closer to Gavin, but he did not.

Leo thought they were getting closer, it didn’t seem like Gavin was too annoyed when they had dinner together, and he remembered things Leo said, sometimes he even asked if he had finished the book he was reading, or what had happened with this or that person from group, or he told him stories about people in the precinct.

Gavin had even helped him through one of his bad days and that had made Leo so happy, made him so giddy and light, just like when he used to skate and could jump ever so high, he had been super tired and he really wanted to sleep, but he tried to force himself not to, he knew the days they would be spending together were coming to an end and he wanted to make the most of it.

But getting closer to the detective also meant he was more and more afraid of giving himself away, he had almost told him that evening, and that would ruin everything, wouldn’t it? Gavin wouldn’t want his stupid, sappy feelings, he’d cut him off to avoid the awkwardness of it altogether just when Leo was starting to hope Gavin could see him as something closer to a friend and farther from some worthless, foolish, junkie loser. You didn’t keep company to someone you hated when they were feeling ill, did you? Gavin wasn’t a particularly altruistic person, if someone wouldn’t bother for someone he really disliked it would be him. Leo couldn’t ruin it so soon.

“How long until we arrive to this art thing?” Leo asked

“About 40 minutes more if the traffic is not too bad, maybe an hour if it is” Simon said cheerfully

Leo nodded, then sighed, he couldn’t and wouldn’t sit there for 40 to 60 minutes with his sweaty leg awkwardly touching Gavin’s, that would be too much for him, so he did the only reasonable thing left. He pushed Markus’s leg with his own to get more space. Markus frowned and did the same back, soon enough they were openly pushing each other back and forth, looking more like a pair of brothers than they ever had before.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Markus asked him seriously “apart from the usual” he couldn’t help to add

“What’s wrong with you that you can’t stop manspreading all over the fucking seat, you are crushing me!” Leo said pushing him again

“I’m not, and maybe you could try asking for more space like someone civilized”

“Leo, try to be considerate” Carl said calmly “you are the eldest“ 

“He’s not!” Markus replied immediately with an incredulous huff

“Of course I am!” Leo huffed back “I’ve been alive for longer than you! That’s how it works, genius!”

“Maturity level, surely, should count for something in this case” Markus replied seriously

“Boys, I think that’s about enough” Carl said, but there was laughter in his voice, never in his life had he expected to say those words

“Sorry, dad,” and Markus couldn’t believe he was actually going to say it “but Leo started it”

“Markus– ” Simon said softly, but he couldn’t help an amused, fond smile. Only Leo could get this type of reaction out of Markus, who was always so poised and elegant. Simon didn’t think it was a bad thing. It endeared to him that much more to know that Markus could be slightly petty sometimes, like a small speck of a flaw that made something that was already breathtakingly beautiful that much more interesting.

“Are you are seeing this?” Markus asked him gesturing towards Leo’s legs

“’Leo started it’” Leo mimicked  “Are you like seven? Wait, you actually are, aren’t you?”

Markus took a deep breath and tried to count to 10, “Leo,” he said managing to get only to 4 “Could you please be quiet and still for a few minutes?”

“Markus,” Leo said mimicking his tone again “could you possibly stop being so freaking self centered and stuck up!“

“I’m self centered?” Markus said in disbelief “Aren’t you talking about yourself? As usual, may I add. Be quiet, please, Leo”

“Are you telling me to shut up, because you–  you shut up!”  Leo said, pushing Markus’ knee again, then turned to Simon “You aren’t married yet, Simon. You can still run away from– this– ” Leo faltered, not finding the exact right word for his stifling, self-important sort of kinda brother individual

“If I could assist you” Nines interjected, not helping the situation in the slightest and not meaning to “Could the word you search for be dullard, nitwit, dunce or maybe perhaps shithead”

“You really do go right for the throat, don’t you?” Leo said with wary awe

“Naturally, one should shoot to kill to be able to achieve maximum efficiency, unlike” Nines turned to look seriously at Markus “some dunces I could mention”

“That’s enough, Markus is outnumbered” Simon said trying to be placating

“My apologies, Simon” Nines said with genuine formality “It is unfortunate your fate has found itself tangled to that of this dullard”

Gavin snorted, as it happens when you are trying not to laugh “Listen, Samantha –”

“It’s Simon!” both Leo and Nines said at the same time

“Samantha,” Gavin ignored them, he had no hope of ever remembering the housewife’s actual name but ‘Samantha’ was the most housewife-like name he could think of “next time these shitheads go out together, you should bring one of those spray water bottles to spritz them with” Gavin said

“That isn’t a bad idea at all,” Simon played along “I will consider it”

“I’m not sure that’d work on Leo,” Markus stated drily “You need common sense for that”

“An argument needs two willing participants, Markus” Carl said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

“There, listen to dad” Leo said, feeling he had won this one

“Leo, let’s change seats?” Simon suggested hoping that would help them reach an impasse at the very least

“Sure, if you want”

“There, my love. I won’t let him bully you anymore” Simon said as he sat between Gavin and Markus and Leo took the seat between his dad and Nines

“I wasn’t bullying him, Simon!” Leo complained “he’s the one that was crushing me and then told me to shut up!”

“Right,” Simon conceded “I won’t let you bully each other anymore”

“You always spoil-” Markus started his argument but was interrupted

“Would you like to change seats also, Detective Reed?” Nines asked far too loudly

“Why wou–“ Gavin tried to reply

“Well, it happens that I do” Nines cut him off

“Whatever the fuck for?” Gavin asked, regretting it immediately, impossible to predict what the fucking android would say. Gavin prepared himself in case he had to jump out of the moving car

“I wish to sit next to Simon.” Nines said matter of factly “PL600 models are especially vulnerable, a flabby human could do nothing– ”

“Fucking spare me,” Gavin said unwisely, standing up ”I don’t need a damn speech if all you want is to sit next to your crush”

“You know, Simon, I think anyone marrying into law enforcement would be very lucky” Leo said with a small nod at Nines as the RK900 took his new seat next to the PL600.

“Is that so,” Simon replied with a knowing smile

“Well, I’m just saying–” Leo said, slightly taken aback, sinking in his seat

Before Gavin could reach his seat the automated car, which shouldn’t do something like it, jerked for a moment, throwing him on top of Leo. That looked romantic only in movies, no romance happened when you fell on someone so hard their shoulder made an uncomfortable popping sound as you cursed because you hit your knee against the metal frame of their father’s wheel chair, and they were in pain, and you were in pain, everything was a fucking mess

“Motherfucking, fuck– dammit–“ Gavin said “shit!“  he was still squeezing Leo’s shoulder way too hard “Fucking hell,“ Gavin finally sat down, clenching the hand that had just been on Leo’s shoulder “I’m– whatever!“

“It’s alright” Leo said at the same time, rolling his now sore shoulder and rubbing it with his hand “Asshole!” he added with a confused little shake of his head when he realized Gavin had spat a ‘whatever’ instead of a ‘sorry’.

“That’s unusual, I wonder if there’s something wrong with the car” Simon said

“It’s nothing to worry about, Simon.” Nines replied politely “I only hacked into the system for a moment”

“What if you– don’t fucking do that?” Gavin said irritably

“In regards to your earlier statement Mr. Manfred” Nines said, ignoring Gavin and talking to Leo in the formal way that in him passed for actual friendliness, “ We are very pleased you think marrying into law enforcement would be desirable, aren’t we, Detective Reed?”

“Don’t fucking include me in any more of your damn bullshit” Gavin spat

“How much longer until we get to the gallery?” Markus asked

“At least 30 minutes” Simon said pleasantly

“Jesus fuck” Gavin folded his arms turning to look to whatever there was out of the window, but not really knowing what he was looking at because his whole attention was in preventing either his shoulder or his leg from touching Leo’s.

Knowing Leo had someone he was interested in made Gavin even more determined to keep his distance, It wasn’t what Leo had said, it was the way in which he’d said it, he wasn’t only in love with that guy, ‘in love’ always sounded to Gavin like something disposable, you were done with it in a week and passed on to the next thing.

Leo wasn’t just ‘in love’, he clearly, plainly, sincerely loved this fathead, the kind of love that wasn’t easily washed away and that must hold particularly true when it came to Leo, who felt everything so wholeheartedly he didn’t even want to date around while his heart was set on this– birdbrained fucker.

Gavin couldn’t wait for the day to be over and not have to see any of them ever again in his fucking life, he’d return to his apartment where he’d die sooner or later hopefully soon enough that he could avoid smelling like an old person, and then his cats would eat his remains, once the authorities were called because of the flies and the smell, they’d probably find Box sleeping inside his rib cage, that cat was a fucking moron. Gavin spent the rest of the car ride leaning into the car door so much he almost fell out when it automatically opened once they reached their destination.

“You okay there, son” Hank Anderson said with an annoying smile

“Fucking perfect” Gavin barked a bit too loudly, a few people in evening dress stared at him in distaste, hard to say if it was because of what he’d said or what he was wearing, he had not bothered to dress up at all, picking only his normal working clothes, he didn’t understand why you’d dress formally to stare at a bunch of paint splattered around, priggish fuckers.

“If you curse, I curse, Jack” Leo quoted an old movie, punching his arm gently in solidarity. The day couldn’t end soon enough, Gavin thought, blissfully (or unfortunately) unaware this was to be one of the longest days of his life.

* * *

(the [new radical face](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z23_iiS-RtI) song is such a Leo song tho....)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapters will take me a bit while I figure them out but they are coming, lads. Thank you again for giving some of your time to this story, I really appreciate it!


	7. Chapter 7

The gallery was full of works of art, both in canvas and in living form, fashionable people walking around in clothes that were wonders in themselves costing more than fabric had any right to, their jewelry glimmering under the light; it was like being inside a kaleidoscope, forms ever changing in every existing shade of color. The exhibition was the first of its kind, the first where androids had an opportunity to showcase their artistic work alongside humans. Naturally sponsored by the Manfred Estate, and naturally every single anti-android group had protested and opposed it, Captain Fowler had kindly assigned both his Android Affairs teams to it. For all that was worth. Just in case.

Simon pushed Carl’s chair through the gallery, while Leo and Markus walked at either side of their father. Markus and Carl greeted this or that artist, this or that art enthusiast or collector, and Leo was starting to feel slightly awkward, never really knowing what to say.

Markus and Carl would discuss art styles and trends with the people who engaged them, and talked about the different pieces they stopped in front of; sometimes Markus would explain things to Simon. Leo didn’t really get any of it, didn’t have much interest in it either beyond wondering why they could see things he couldn’t, he could only tell if he liked a painting or if he didn’t, and in all honesty his father’s style and taste had never matched his.

Leo was starting to feel antsy and tired, but whenever he turned to look at Simon, the android gave him an encouraging smile, and when he turned back to look at Gavin –who kept several steps behind them with Nines, neither of them having to pretend to be interested in the slightest–, Gavin rolled his eyes and shook his head as if to say _‘this is fucking stupid’_ Leo chuckled at that and distractedly bumped into a man, when Leo looked up to apologize, they both lit up.

The man towered over Leo. He had thick, dark auburn hair and a well kept full beard, he was casually dressed in dark jeans, and a red flannel shirt but he looked oddly well put together and somehow not in dissonance with the people walking around him. Clearly one of those people whose class and good breeding are so glaringly obvious they don’t need to put on any type of extra pretence, they simply walked lightly as if on air wherever they went.

Those much more formally dressed didn’t waste their time giving him haughty looks like they had been doing to Gavin all the fucking evening, even if this guy basically looked as if he were about to walk out to chop the logs for the fire in his unabomber cabin in the middle of a lake, before attending to his honey stand in the farmer’s market, more likely with two golden retrievers trailing after him. 

As Leo introduced the man happily to his dad and the androids, Gavin had a pang of realization. That must be the birdbrained fucker.  He looked the part, the stand-upness practically oozed out of the dope, Gavin remembered Leo’s words, about always feeling safe around the guy and Gavin could see why, and despite his jealousy which was so apparent he didn’t try to deny it to himself, he was relieved. If that was the halfwit Leo loved so much he would be alright, and if the way the prince of lumberjacks or whatever was looking at Leo was any indication, Leo wouldn’t have his heart broken at all when he finally confessed– Gavin forced his thoughts to stop right there before they derailed into how Leo would have to stand on tip toe to kiss the guy.

“Jealousy is quite an inconvenience, is it not?” Nines asked suddenly “I have found it rather a nuisance”

“You can see if he has a criminal record or anything shady, can’t you?” Gavin asked

“Wren Kerr, 31 years old” Nines recited instantly “No criminal record, not one parking ticket. Graduated from Dartmouth University with honors, speaks four languages fluently, was a CEO at his family’s company until two years ago, when he started a successful indie publishing house. Likes winter sports, goes skiing every year at St. Anton am Arlberg, broke up amiably with his long term boyfriend 6 months ago, is very well liked by his friends and has pet chickens according to his private social media accounts, in an e-mail to his sister from last week, he tells her he’s ready to date again, and not to forget meemaw’s birthday present. His family is the third wealthiest in Detroit–“

“That’s enough–” Gavin interrupted the elegy with a grimace “I wanted to know if he’s hiding any dirt, I don’t need his fucking dating site profile”

“How are you going to proceed regarding this situation?” the RK900 asked, interested. The management of feelings was even newer to him than to the rest of the Androids around him and his rigid personality didn’t seem to be having an easy time adapting to most of it

“There’s nothing for me to do” Gavin replied “I’m not a fucking creep, if the dumbass likes him and he’s not fucking shady, that’s it”

“Aren’t you going to disclose your feelings to him?” The android asked seriously

“What the fuck for?” Gavin replied drily “He’s completely gone for the fucker, “

The RK900 hummed thoughtfully

“Although this individual is younger, taller, wealthier, more accomplished, better educated, obviously incredibly more socially apt, and much more aesthetically pleasing than yourself” Nines said, Gavin glared at him “I reckon you and the younger Mr. Manfred are really well suited for each other, his insouciance is a good match for your overbearance, it tempers it” the RK900 continued flatly

“His what?”

“Insouciance: an airiness to an individual’s temperament” The RK900 recited  “nonchalance, a boyish lack of concern. Overbearance:–“

“I know what overbearance means,” Gavin interrupted “but maybe you could stop using words from the 1800’s”

“The use of the word ‘insouciance’ is higher at present than it was in the 1800’s, maybe you should read a book”

“Have you ever read a fucking book?” Gavin retorted “Or you just use the oxford dictionary downloaded directly to your–“ Gavin gestured vaguely towards the android “…circuits”

The RK900 actually smiled slightly “Touché,” he conceded “My point being, both your natures complement each other in favorable ways, and moreover Mr. Manfred is one of the very, very, very” a pause “very few people that genuinely enjoy your presence. Why would you let go of him so readily?”

“Why the fuck are we having this damn conversation?” Gavin said irritably

“I would appreciate it if you answered the question” the android said plainly

Gavin breathed out and shifted his position uncomfortably “You know why, I found the biggest fathead I could find and fell for the fucking idiot” he said lowering his voice to a rough whisper, looking around him with unease as if he were ordering a contract killing “I want him to be safe and happy and all that fucking corny crap,”

“You prioritize his well being over your feelings and desires” The android nodded in understanding 

Gavin huffed “I’m not that noble. If I don’t go and make it weird now–  we may still talk,” Gavin shrugged  “sometime, I don’t fucking know, he may still feel comfortable around me when we do, even if he goes and moves to fucking Austria to raise chickens with flannels. I’m not a fucking moron, I know people don’t like me, why would they? but he’s a fucking weirdo with about half a sober brain cell so he does for some goddamned reason,” Gavin paused, lowering his voice so much a human wouldn’t be able to make out what he said, but it was crystal clear to the android “The fucking idiot’s got my back”

“You maintain certain distance not to lose him completely” The android said appreciatively “I shall consider if I should take your course of action, but it is rather challenging not to antagonize the RK200. However, it seems to me that would qualify as, as you put it, making things weird”

Gavin chuckled “Asking to sit next to your crush with his boyfriend right there, ballsy move, I respect that”

Nines nodded in acknowledgment of Gavin’s words “the RK200 is in no way appropriate for Simon, he’s a haphazardly assembled, virus ridden unit”

“A virus infested prick, that’s loaded and all of your people worship the dirt he steps on, not even catch of the decade flannels has that”

“That seems accurate;” Nines agreed “an obnoxious savior complex is the only thing that human would seem to be lacking”

Both detectives sighed almost imperceptibly before turning back to look at their group; it was their job after all. The flannel man walked away cheerfully, not without giving Leo a kiss on the cheek first, so European of him, the housewife said something to Leo and Leo replied happily looking more relaxed than he had before, then the android reached out to try to tame Leo’s hair, only making it worse, both Nines and Gavin chuckled softly, looked at each other, and scoffed like they thought the other was making a complete ass of himself.

Gavin looked around for a moment, vaguely trying to locate flannels, see if he planned on circling back or getting lost, Gavin hoped it was the later.

“Detective Reed–“ Nines said suddenly, weird unease in his voice which was so unusual, in fact Gavin had never heard that before, it made the detective turn to look back at their charges immediately.

At first nothing seemed wrong, Leo and the housewife stood a bit behind, still dealing hopelessly with the dumbass’ messy hair, the prick and the old man were talking with ease to yet another geezer–, all at once Gavin’s blood froze and he felt small and trapped, he could hear Carl Manfred amiably calling them over as if from very far away, and the detective’s legs started to move on their own walking towards them, it was like a very vivid, recurrent nightmare. Nines said something else to him but Gavin couldn’t make sense of his words; he stopped automatically when they reached the Manfred entourage and Gavin wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not.

“Doctor Reed, this is Detective Reed,” Carl Manfred said pleasantly “Is there any relation, I wonder”

“I’m afraid so, Carl” the devil said with easy good humor “Nice to see you, son. You aren’t looking that alive, are you?” he joked casually taking a sip from his drink

“Shut the fuck up _–_ ” Gavin snarled a bit incoherently, that got him many nervous stares. His thoughts didn’t make sense, they were only half formed before he forgot them, his head was full of cotton and his chest was being crushed, he wanted to say something, anything, speak, speak, speak, speak, speak, was all he heard himself think, there was the grainy sound of one of his molars cracking.

“Gavin, are you alright?” it was Leo’s voice but he sounded echoey and Gavin thought he felt a light tug on his jacket sleeve but he wasn’t sure if he had imagined it

The devil sighed “Speaking of problematic sons, Carl. Regrettably that goes for my daughter too, weak minded, and this one, well, where to start” he said lightly, as if everything was an inconsequential joke

“Don’t fucking talk about her, you piece of shit!” Gavin shouted ineptly but at least he managed to unfreeze, he felt ready to crush his skull with his hands

“Detective Reed” Nines said coolly, holding him back, as the devil just took a nonchalant step back raising his hands mockingly as if to make clear he was doing nothing to rattle the volatile cop, his drink unbothered in one of his hands

“We may need security to manage your security, Carl” the devil said haughtily “You really should hire a private company, law enforcement is in shambles, no wonder if they take any uneducated good for nothing walk in from the street.”

Gavin yanked himself away from Nines, taking one step forward towards the devil again, then his body betrayed him and not knowing why, he turned and walked away way too fast, not sure if he was going to black out, or throw up, or if he was screaming only in his head or out of it, he may be actually screaming or cursing because as soon as he entered the bathroom, the only place he could find in this goddamned hell to hole himself up, the few men in impeccable suits and black ties that were there rushed out, even one that was using one of the stalls. Gavin strode up and down a few times looking at the floor, feeling dizzy, trying to get his thoughts to make sense again.

“Gavin?” Leo’s soft low voice said after a moment, he opened the door slowly and entered the bathroom

“Fuck the fuck off!” Gavin shouted at him as loudly as he could, still feeling disconcerted, suspecting he was being incoherent, feeling much like he did like he was small, weak and completely powerless

“I don’t really feel like fucking off just now” Leo said with calm stubbornness “Are you okay?” he asked, feeling dumb asking that to the obviously not okay man pacing up and down the bathroom ~~~~

“I’m fucking fantastic! Never been better, why the fuck wouldn’t I be?” Gavin laughed and he knew he sounded near hysterical “Newsflash, Manfred, you are not the only one with fucking daddy issues, happy? Now, Fuck– Off–, go back, trail after your old man like a stupid lapdog, stare blankly at some more goddamn paintings, I’m sure that’ll make him like you better” he said nastily

“Gavin…” Leo trailed off not really knowing what to say, too worried about Gavin to take any offence on what he was saying. Leo could recognize a full blown meltdown when he saw one.

“I could have beaten the life out of him right there if I wanted to,” Gavin ranted to himself still stalking from one wall of the bathroom to the other, sounding messed-up even to himself “Could have smashed something into his damn face just like he did to me, only I’d do it until his fucking skull gave in! I could have blown his head off! I could have really fucked him up!”

“I don’t think anyone would be stupid enough to doubt that, that’s why Nines held you back” Leo replied softly “But if you did anything to him you’d get in a fuck ton of trouble, they could suspend you or worse for that, couldn’t they? You did the right thing” Leo hesitated slightly “You sorta always do” he added with a drop of shyness in his voice

“I fucking didn’t!” Gavin barked baring his teeth “I ran away again like a fucking coward– Pushover– Fuck–! I imagined this moment so many times, when I’d show that motherfucker he couldn’t rough me up anymore– when I’d make him pay for everything he did–  and what the fuck do I do?! Run the fuck away with my tail between my legs, like a fucking wimp” Gavin grimaced “Fucking–  Dammit–!” he shouted punching the bathroom wall a few times 

“So you are going to hurt yourself now and save him the trouble?!” Leo said, grabbing Gavin’s arm, trying to hug it to himself so Gavin couldn’t punch the wall again

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?!” Gavin spat pushing Leo away.

Leo took one step back and gasped as if he had been slapped, not because of the push which had been very light, but because of the words that had gone with it. There was a tense stillness after that where they only looked at each other until Gavin broke it

“Just–“ Gavin said, his tone was lower but an odd bitterness laced his voice “go the fuck away, Manfred” he said, pushing away one of the very, very, very– very few people who didn’t think of him as an unbearable douchebag without one single redeeming quality, and cared enough to go and find him when something seemed wrong.

“Fuck you, Gavin!” Leo hissed angrily, Gavin expected him to turn away and leave but he didn’t, he took the one step towards Gavin he had lost instead “This may only be a job to you, but I think of you as– you know, you are my friend, so you are important to me, asshole! I don’t like it when you are hurting, you– jackass!”

“I’m not– hurt” Gavin said through gritted teeth

“Okay, if you say so, but if you were would you tell me?” Leo asked, Gavin didn’t reply “You know,” Leo continued “You have really helped me before, many times, so, I really want to help you if I can”

“I don’t need help,” Gavin said, the shadow of concern in Leo’s eyes made him feel guilty, and useless, but somehow it also soothed him “I just fucked up, alright”

“You didn’t,” Leo said gently “walking away was the right thing to do”

“Yeah, fucking–“ Gavin huffed, passing his hand through his hair, “whatever–” he was unusually tired. He sat down, there on the floor of the swank gallery bathroom, like the fucking useless wimp he was.

Leo sat on the floor next to him, hesitantly and very slowly, like he’d do with some sort of very dangerous but obviously wounded thing. Gavin hated that; Leo had never hesitated to be close to him before, and it was on him, of course. He was too messed up in his head, ended up turning everything he touched into something ugly and bitter, but he didn’t want that to happen with Leo, it was like Nines had said, Gavin couldn’t lose him.

“I’m–“ Gavin started but trailed off, noticing his hand was starting to hurt like a motherfucker, trying to find the right words to apologize, “You aren’t a lapdog, and those other fucking things I said… I shouldn’t have said any of that crap, shouldn’t have pushed you, I’m fucking sorry…” Gavin spat too harshly to make it a decent apology, but Leo smiled

“We are cool,” Leo said quietly, and bumped his shoulder lightly against Gavin’s. Gavin could have sighed in relief

“Want me to sneak out and bring you a drink?” Leo asked

“Can’t drink on the job” Gavin said, pushing his back against the tiled wall of the bathroom, looking up at the ridiculously stylish lighting fixtures, rich people had to have good lighting even to take a leak.

“Chocolate truffle?” Leo asked, taking a napkin out of his jacket pocket with two truffles in it

“How old are those?” Gavin said, “How probable is I’ll fucking choke on lint if I eat them?”

“I just snatched them on my way to the bathroom,” Leo said “risk the pocket lint or lose them, and like, the public bathroom germs as well…”

“Stop.” Gavin said, pushing the napkin away and Leo threw them to the trashcan, scoring a very decent 3 pointer.

“Hey…” Leo said softly “you aren’t a pushover or a wimp or a coward. You are the least cowardly person I know, and I know people who like, pretty much go swimming in crocodile infested waters and a bunch of other crazy stuff”

“You know a whole bunch of fucking idiots” Gavin scoffed

“And you are the bravest among them all” Leo said sincerely “Gavin… Did he…” he faltered not knowing how to ask, or if he even should, he probably shouldn’t, but as ever he was already doing the thing before thinking it through. Leo gestured towards his own nose

Gavin only looked at Leo, and much like Gavin had in the interview room, Leo knew his answer without Gavin having to say a word.

“Why?” Leo said, his voice wavering

“That fucker never needed a reason–“ Gavin said, and then he repeated what he had already told Leo once, “in high school, I kissed this dickwad who told everyone, that bastard heard and, bam, a bottle right to my face as soon as I got home” Gavin made a gun with his hand and mimicked shooting at his face with it “Actually, I was lucky the fucker didn’t shoot me, not even Tina would have been able to patch me up then” he said with the awkward laugh of someone who is trying to make light of something that cuts through them deeply. Leo could see right past that front, he often did the same.

“I’m going to fuck them up!” Leo hissed, standing up, his anger flaring up in an instant, brighter than any Gavin had seen him display before “They could suspend you but what the fuck can they do to me, arrest me again? Send me to actual prison? I’ll fuck up this bastard’s crummy ass, I’ll make him be really fucking sorry, and then I’m going to hunt down that other dick–” Leo said marching towards the door

“No you won’t,” Gavin said hurriedly standing up too. He grabbed Leo’s wrist pulling him to himself slightly “Don’t be a fucking idiot!”

“Why the fuck not?!” Leo turned to him, dark anger in his eyes, but they were also slightly watery as if he were about to cry “It’ll be fucking worth it!” Leo hissed angrily trying to yank his wrist out of Gavin’s grasp

“You could end up in jail for assault; he’s not one of the junkies or drunks you have got in trouble for fighting in those seedy bars before. That fucker? In this place? You could get charged with a felony this time” Gavin said firmly, holding Leo’s angry gaze and squeezing Leo’s wrist just slightly tighter “and you don’t belong in that shithole, which you barely avoided, by the way. Took you long enough to be where you should be, don’t fuck it up, much less for that worthless piece of shit.” Gavin tugged at his wrist gently, “Got it?”

Leo didn’t look at him, he looked down, a deep, angry frown still on his face which Gavin knew meant trouble. There was tension going all the way from Leo’s arm to his shoulder blades as if he was only waiting for Gavin to release him to sprint away and do something fucking dumb.

“Got it, Leo?” Gavin repeated, tugging at his wrist lightly again. That made Leo look at him, his eyes softening. Gavin almost smiled, the biggest fathead he had found was really such a predictable, sweet fool.

“If I see a chance to spit in his drink I’m taking it” Leo replied sullenly, but his posture relaxed

“You are fucking exhausting” but Gavin grinned as he said that and let go of him, turning to the sink and opening the faucet to wash his face

“You know, when I’m really upset I don’t like to be alone because then it actually gets really super bad,” Leo said, taking a few paper towels and handing them to Gavin “but I’ll fuck off if you still want me to”

“Fuck off or don’t,” Gavin said as he dried his face “do whatever you want”

“Whatever I want?” Leo perked up; he’d never miss an opportunity to do whatever he wanted “Let’s bounce then!”

Gavin looked at him, and incredulous half grin on his face “It took us an hour of that fucking inferno to get here and now you want to leave?”

“It’ll be fun, kinda like skipping school!”

“You have this fucking weird concept of fun” Gavin leaned against the sink

“Hey! At least I’m not trying to get you high this once” Leo argued

“Where would we go in this plan of yours?”

“Anywhere you want!” Leo said, even bouncing a little on the balls of his feet

“Typical,” Gavin said folding his arms “it’s your idea and I have to pick the fucking destination”

“ Come on! Let’s just go chill, it could be anywhere, anywhere would be better than here, even just walking in the street” Leo insisted “If we get caught you can blame it on me” he offered

“Don’t you want to stay with your old man?”

“With Simon and Markus he doesn’t really need me here, we’ll come back before anyone notices we are gone, plus this is like, really boring”

“It is so fucking boring” Gavin agreed “and everyone here is fucking insane, they could as well wipe their asses with the money they spend on that garbage. Go to any kindergarten and give the squirts some fucking paint, you’ll get the same trash to hang on your walls”

“Probably something much more original, honestly” Leo agreed “We bounce then?”

“Fine” Gavin said with a faux-put upon sigh

As soon as they exited the bathroom Leo ran into someone’s back

“Sorry–,” Leo said “Lieutenant?”

“How are you doing, kid?”

“What the fuck are you doing, Anderson?” Gavin asked

“Working, what else?” Hank replied “What the hell are you doing, Reed?”

“Can I go into the restroom already?” A man standing nearby asked the Lieutenant

“Do I look like your third grade teacher? Do you think I have a bathroom pass?” Hank replied irritably “Pee, don’t pee, go take a dump, none of my damn business”

“But you just said–“ the man started in confusion “Whatever– “ he said shaking his head in bafflement and rushing into the bathroom

“Charming people all around” the Lieutenant said, exchanging a conspiratorial look with Leo and casually walking away as if he hadn’t been ensuring the kids’ privacy.

Gavin and Leo walked through the gallery, they were about to reach the entrance when Simon caught up with them

“Leo, where are you going?” Simon said

“We are bouncing” Leo said shamelessly, almost proudly

“Wait, Leo!” Simon said “That man is no longer here, he was escorted out of the premises”

“Why?” Gavin asked, the word escaping him before he could stop it

“Cain got really up in his face saying his program indicated he had verbally attacked a member of the police force and it was now his duty to see him out if he didn’t want to be arrested” Simon said with a sheepish smile “So then he demanded to see a real cop, and as soon as the Lieutenant saw him he said he would arrest him if he didn’t, in the Lieutenant’s own words “get his shit crusted ass” out of his sight, Cain almost dragged him out. Connor had to grab the Lieutenant’s arm all the time, if he hadn’t I think he would have fought that man”

Leo laughed and even Gavin smiled,

“That’s really great and all” Leo said “but we are bouncing anyway”

Simon hesitated, then rushed after Leo again “Leo, they haven’t told you, but your dad and Markus are going to unveil a piece they collaborated on today, your dad really wants you here,”

Leo thought for a moment “That’ll be the grand finale of this whole thing, right? I promise we’ll be back by then,” Leo negotiated “I’ll set an alarm on my phone and everything”

Simon sighed, looked from Leo to Gavin, and then towards the inside of the slightly pretentious gallery full of, if he was being honest, much more pretentious people

“Be back before 10:00” Simon said giving in, spoiling Leo was really too easy

“Thank you! See? Alarm all set at 9:00, we’ll be here” Leo said returning his phone to his pocket and stepping towards Simon to give him a quick kiss on his cheek before almost running out of the building

“Don’t worry, Samantha, I’ll make sure to bring his ass back here before the pumpkin melts or whatever,” Gavin promised

“You better, Gail” Simon said with the sternest –mother of 10 before the extended family arrives in thanksgiving evening and the turkey is but half done and Christopher is chocking on the wax fruit again– voice he could muster

Gavin huffed out a laugh before walking through the gallery’s glass doors

They walked in silence for a few blocks, in a way Leo thought aimless and Gavin knew it was not, Gavin breathed the cold air in deeply, the crushing feeling in his chest getting less oppressive the farther they got from that place.

“So, uhm, I meant to ask you before but,” Leo said “do you… maybe, like, need a hug?”

“Don’t push it,” Was what Gavin said when he actually wanted to say a plain yes “I’m not all touchy feely like you are” he continued “Also, stop those side glances, it’s fucking annoying, it doesn’t hurt if that’s what you are wondering in that strange head of yours”

“Eww, don’t read my mind,” Leo said bumping into him with ease “it’s creepy!”

“I’m not, dumbass, you are so fucking easy to read it’s ridiculous. Never try your luck at card games, they’ll bleed you dry”

“Could have really used that advice like six years ago,” Leo complained “Still spooky you knew exactly what I wanted to ask”

“You have asked me before with that same silly frown on your face” Gavin said

“I haven’t!” Leo huffed indignantly “… Have I?” he added, realizing he couldn’t be sure of what he had or had not said at all

“Would I make that shit up?”

“Ugh, that’s terrible!” Leo said with a laugh “have I said anything else? Anything else that stupid and dumb?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Gavin grinned

“Tell me, asshole!” Leo said, bumping against Gavin again

“You are fine, dumbass” Gavin assured him “You babbled something about pigeons being fat and grey once”

“What? Why the heck would I!” Leo laughed “I must have been super stoned”

Gavin shrugged “You also asked me to show you a picture of one of my cats”

“How did I know to ask you about your cats?” Leo said puzzled “I didn’t even know you liked them until the day you gave Leo to me”

“How the fuck would I know that?”

“hmm” Leo hummed, they walked for a few more blocks before Leo added “Well, did you?”

“Did what?”

“Show me the picture of your cat, dummy!”

“Shit no, you were too fucked up” Gavin shrugged

 “I’m not fucked up today,” Leo said hopefully “and it’s later, so can you, maybe, show me the cats now?”

Gavin glanced at Leo, and there was something unusual in his eyes, something Leo hadn’t seen before and wouldn’t have expected to see at all today, but there it was, a spark of amusement in the storm clouds of Gavin’s eyes.

“Sure,” Gavin said flatly, and he wasn’t smiling, but Leo felt like he was

“Serious?!” Leo said perking up, but Gavin didn’t reach for his phone “Show me, then!”

“Can you be patient for once in your life?” Gavin asked

“Impatient is one of the things I know I’m not” Leo asserted

“Then, you can wait”

“Waiting” Leo sing-sang “but you are going to show them to me today, right? This isn’t one of those things where I ask you in three weeks and you tell me to keep waiting, is it? … Gavin?”

“Be patient, Manfred”

“Hey! No, no take backs!” Leo said punching Gavin in the arm, to which Gavin replied grabbing the back of Leo’s jacket, pulling him back gently to a stop.

“Here,” Gavin said “see that fat tortoiseshell on that windowsill?” he pointed at a window in the apartment building across the street

“Yeah…?”

“That’s Rex, she used to pee on fucking everything and now chews the curtains”

“No way!” Leo said, his heartbeat rising

“Hurry the fuck up, Leo!” Gavin said crossing the street towards the building “I thought you wanted to see the cats!”

Leo flitted after him recklessly letting himself be in cloud 9. They entered the building, it wasn’t a fancy place but it had the comfortable, well kept air of a building that has seen many lives come and go, most of which really thought of it as their home and took care of it as such. They went up the staircase, and into the fourth floor hall, the wall was half tiled with teal tiles, and Leo touched his hand to them as he walked, when they stopped before Gavin’s door Leo looked around the hall and laughed

“Sorry it isn’t the Ritz” Gavin said sarcastically

“Fucking glad it isn’t, we just escaped the madness, freaking pâté puffs or whatever” Leo said cheerfully “I only laughed because this is pretty much the type of building where one of those old timey detectives would live, you know, like in an old noir film or something. It’s really cool, l like it!” Leo said as Gavin opened the door to his apartment. 

Gavin exhaled in relief involuntarily when he closed to door behind them, he really needed to be home for a moment to get his bearings fully back. Two cats were at their feet in a second meowing welcome to them, both orange but very different, the first was a chubby creamsicle whose ample shape could only be described as square-ish , the other was an unusual reddish tint with black socks, black in the tips of his ears, and only one bright green eye.

“These are Box” Gavin said petting the creamsicle one “and Fox”

“I can see why you named them that” Leo said happily, fussing over the cats

“They are the clingiest little fuckers. I found them in a trash can, some fucking lowlife had burned their fur and taken Fox’s eye out. I didn’t think they’d make it, but they did, resilient little fuckers, they are the mushiest thing, Fox especially, can’t sit for one fucking minute without him jumping into my lap”

Gavin continued as they walked into the apartment, there was a cat tower, two of those fancy cat water fountains, and many shelves of different sizes around the walls for the cats to climb, Leo stepped carelessly on one of the colorful cloth mice strewn around, before sitting on the floor next to the couch, so he could better play with the cats.

“You already saw Rex” Gavin took Rex from the windowsill, taking the curtain gently out of her mouth, to bring her to Leo. “Don’t worry, she’s not a pisslord anymore”

“So, you are why Gavin smelled like cat pee for months!” Leo said to the cat, the tortoiseshell meowed at him confidently and unrepentant as if to say _‘maybe so’_

Gavin came back from the kitchen with a very big, very fluffy cat with an angry face

“This is Max, she’s a grump and doesn’t like people much,”

“You two must really get along” Leo joked

“We do” Gavin said, “don’t be offended if she ignores you” he added, letting Max down. The fluffy cat made her way to the couch making a point of not paying any attention to the newcomer and her slobbering siblings. 

Gavin looked around and then walked into what Leo supposed was the bedroom

“Come on, old lady,” Gavin almost cooed in the other room “You just gotta meet someone, and then you can go back to your nap”

Leo’s chest felt warm and the nape of his neck tingled as he saw himself surrounded by the cats,  he wasn’t sure if Gavin knew he could hear him, but Gavin had to like him a bit, right? Otherwise he wouldn’t let him in this way, right? showing him what he loved the most. Leo tried very hard not to smile

“This is Cricket,” Gavin said when he came back, the prettiest and sleepiest cat Leo had ever seen in his arms. Gavin leaned down to give her to Leo “she’s 17 so she’ll probably fall asleep on you in about 3 seconds”

“Hey, Cricket, how do you do?,” Leo said as he took the cat from Gavin carefully, and then he looked up at him with a smile the detective had only seen once before in an old photograph “See, I’m not a complete punk, I know how to talk to a dignified, respectable lady such as this,” Leo turned back to coo to the cat “isn’t it right, Cricket? You are positively glowing, you don’t look a day over five, you look like…” Leo looked at the cat and considered her for a few seconds “like a milk tea frappe with a bit of chocolate syrup on top” he said bopping the cat’s black nose softly with his finger

“Holy shit” Gavin laughed

“What? Don’t you like my description? Because she does so… you lose” Leo said, scratching the head of the milk tea purring in his lap,

“If she likes it, who am I to go against her” Gavin said, pushing Max gently out of the couch to lie on it, putting one of his arms over his eyes, letting his other arm hang down on the side of the couch so he could pet whichever cat came near. Fox was more than happy to bump his head over and over against Gavin’s hurt hand, while Max climbed over him to reach the top of the back of the couch, to placidly watch over her vast kingdom of slobs.

“Why is Cricket’s name different from the others?” Leo asked “because she was first? You hadn’t set on the three letter names brand yet?”

“Nah, she was my sister’s, she named her”

“It’s a very cute name, for a very cute lady,” Leo said, placing a small kiss on the cat’s head “where is your sister now?” he asked curiously

“Nowhere.” Gavin said simply

“Fuck, sorry,” Leo said, immediately contrite “I’m a fucking idiot”  

“ ’s fine” Gavin said evenly “Don’t believe what that fucker said about her”

“I’m not that stupid” Leo retorted

“She would have liked you;” Gavin continued “she was mousy and shy, and she really cared about other people, not at all like me. I take after that motherfucker, a chip of the old block, an abusive fucker just like him” Gavin huffed a bitter, defeated laugh, his arm still over his eyes

“Fuck, Gavin, don’t say that!” Leo said immediately, his words earnest and without any hesitation “That’s so not true, holy fuck! You are nothing like him!” Leo poked at Gavin’s shoulder for emphasis, Cricket still purring sweetly on his lap “You are a detective, you want to catch the bad guys, right? You always looked out for me, even when I was such a douchebag, your cats love you and cats don’t waste their time with abusive fucks, they aren’t dogs. Tina loves you so much too, she’s so cool, she wouldn’t waste her time either on some subhuman piece of shit like that fucker, neither would Lieutenant Anderson, or Nines. I know I wouldn’t and I was fucking serious when I said you are my friend, and sure, you can be a total dickhead sometimes, and we all know it, but you are not like, evil” Leo said firmly “that fucking bastard is. So don’t fucking think you are like him because you so aren’t, Got it?” Leo said tugging gently at Gavin’s wrist much like Gavin had done back in the gallery, “Gavin?”

“How can you say that like you are so fucking sure?” Gavin asked, still not moving an inch, his voice weirdly hoarse “You only saw him for three fucking seconds” he said dismissively

“I know he fucking smashed a bottle right into his son’s face, I don’t need anything more than that to know” Leo replied not faltering for a second “and I have watched you for fucking years, you can be an asshole, but you still care enough to pick up one eyed, burned up cats from a trash can or buy a fucked up junkie some food” Leo said tugging at Gavin’s wrist again.

Gavin didn’t move or speak, and Leo was sure the arm he kept covering his eyes was hiding silent tears. He didn’t want to push any further, Leo felt lucky Gavin could trust him this much, so he waited in silence, his fingers lightly holding onto Gavin’s wrist, a persistent but gentle _‘Got it?’_ query waiting patiently for an answer, and impatient was one of the things Leo definitely wasn’t.

After a while, still in silence, still with his eyes covered, Gavin rotated his wrist softly in Leo’s gentle grasp and curled two of his fingers over two of Leo’s, squeezing them lightly and Leo squeezed back as a reply. They stayed like that, holding each other’s hand in that somewhat awkward position for a long time, in the quiet with only the cats running and playing around, until Leo couldn’t help but snort a little laugh.

“What is it now?” Gavin asked, sounding fully like himself again, the hoarse, bitter tension that had cut through his voice since the gallery was gone

“Box just got startled by his own tail,” Leo said, still laughing a little “he tried to catch it in the chair and he fell over”

“He is so fucking stupid” Gavin said fondly, finally uncovering his eyes, sitting up and letting go of Leo’s fingers, noticing as he did that Leo had elegant hands, long, slender fingers with delicate wrists, smaller than his own rougher, bulkier ones. 

Leo let go as well, and focused on the cats so Gavin could cover whatever evidence there was or wasn’t of tears without feeling he was being watched or judged, when Leo’s 9:00 p.m alarm chirped.

“We better get a move on then,” Gavin said with a sigh “or Samantha will look at us with that long suffering betrayed housewife face”

“It’s Simon!” Leo rebuked, placing Cricket gently on the couch where she coiled comfortably again

“Don’t fucking bother, I forget it as soon as you finish saying it”

“Hey, Gavin?” Leo said, keeping his eyes on his phone “Would you give me your phone number?”

“Here,” Gavin handed Leo his phone “you do it”

“Cool!” Leo said, taking both phones, calling himself from Gavin’s to save both numbers “There!” Leo said returning the phone to the detective

As they walked back to the gallery through lonely streets their hands bumped against each other a few times, as if they kept walking too close to the other, but somehow it wasn’t awkward. Leo considered reaching out to hold Gavin’s hand, but chickened out, and started talking about the first thing that reminded him of instead.

“Hey, you know that thing androids do with their hands?” Leo asked

Gavin frowned “I have no idea what you are talking about; I don’t pay attention to those–“ he caught himself “to them”

“It’s like, they put the palms of their hand together and they connect or something and they can share their feelings and their memories and a bunch of other stuff”

“Sounds fucking insane,” Gavin scoffed

“Right, I think it’d be super scary, but I sorta envy them too,”

“Why? It’s just fucking lazy, like everything about them is, so they don’t even have to talk or whatever to know each other? They just pass the fee-fees dot exe on through the wireless? whatever!” Gavin spat “It’s fucking lazy. Is the same at the station, I have to keep training to keep fit and not give whoever will be shooting me an easy target, Anderson just said some bullshit the other day about metabolism getting slower as you age, and he’s right, my age is catching up with me, I’m getting older and it’s harder now than it was 10 years ago, and it will only get harder while I’ll only get crappier at everything, I’ll probably get a beer gut too, while those–“ Gavin clenched his jaw for a second “they– just keep going on like time means nothing.” He shrugged “So, who the fuck cares if they can do that transfer bullshit,”

“I guess so” Leo said thoughtfully “But what if you want to really know someone or know what’s going on in their head and they won’t talk to you?”

“Then they wouldn’t do the fucking wireless bullshit either, would they?”

“Hmm,” Leo hummed “I’m not sure… transferring what you feel seems easier than talking about it”

“Yeah, well, we are not fucking machines.” Gavin said with a dismissive shrug “That prick you have for a brother would have trouble if he gets tired of his little housewife and goes get some tail on the side, though” Gavin said with an unpleasant laugh

“That’s really so not funny!,” Leo chided “and Markus can be a freaking stuck up jerk, but he wouldn’t do something like that to Simon”

“Hey, I’m not saying it’s right, it’s a lowlife move, all I’m saying is that it would be harder to conceal” Gavin explained “the whole fucking thing seems damn intrusive and uncomfortable, everything about them is too fucking uncanny valley, gives me the creeps” Gavin paused, considering if he should ask “Why are you so interested in it, is it because of this birdbrained halfwit you fell for?”

Leo laughed, snorting a bit like he did when he found something especially funny “Yeah, I guess. It’s just–“ Leo hesitated, “You know,” he said suddenly sounding shy despite the laughter still bubbling in his voice “I’m his so… I wish I could know if he could be mine too, somehow… without being dumb and ruining things” he said biting his lip

“Jesus fuck, you have it so bad for this fucking blockhead”

“I know, but he may not want anything to do at all with my fee-fees dot exe–” Leo said playfully, turning around to walk backwards as he talked as he often did, but his happy smile vanished, his light step halted and his body tensed, his stance changing to a fighting one, his eyes looking past Gavin.

“Gavin-“ Leo said with tension in his voice, taking a step towards him ready to fight, but his warning was too slow, before Gavin could even turn to look back to see what was wrong, an arm was crushing his throat

“Long time not see, little pet” Kyle said, barely letting Gavin breath, almost actually lifting him off the ground and pointing a gun at his head.

“Get the fuck off of him!” Leo hissed furiously, but Kyle wasn’t alone, as Leo rushed towards Gavin to try to protect him, another man caught his arm.

“There, there, snitch” Robert said as he twisted Leo’s arms painfully behind his back “Hello there, Gavin, who would have thought, we have some friends in common after all” he said kicking Leo behind the knees making him kneel down. Robert handcuffed him, just as he had done a few times before when he worked at the DPD.

Gavin clenched his jaw as he struggled in Kyle’s grip; that the fucking mole Leo had given to him was with the unwashed douchebag made for a terrible scenario. The more Gavin struggled the harder Kyle threatened to crush his throat and he couldn’t black out, he couldn’t leave Leo alone with these two fuckers, he couldn’t fail him like that. A car pulled up next to them in the deserted street, an android at the wheel, gaining sentience only to be vile fucking garbage, androids may not be that different from humans after all.

“Screw you, motherfucker!” Leo hissed as he resisted being dragged to the car, keeping his angry eyes on Gavin to make sure he was okay.

Robert grabbed Leo by the shoulders and slammed him into the ground; the former detective had every single advantage over him.

“See what you made me do? Don’t make me smash your skull right here, worthless fuck!” Robert shouted, cruelly grabbing Leo by his hair and slamming him against the pavement again “Should have kept your trap shut!” Robert straddled him as Leo moaned in pain, his ears buzzed and the weight of the man on him with his arms handcuffed behind his back made his shoulders feel as if they were going to pop out of their sockets, the pain made him nauseous. Robert searched his pockets, finding his phone and throwing it away.

“Let’s go” Robert pulled him up harshly. Leo was too stunned to do anything about it, and Gavin still struggling to get out of Kyle’s steel grip, his throat almost shut couldn’t even speak.

Robert threw Leo into the trunk of the car like old luggage “One single sound out of you, snitch, and we put that police dog down, understood?” he closed the trunk on Leo and walked back to Gavin, swiftly taking Gavin’s gun out of his holster and discarding his phone just like he had done Leo’s.

“Don’t try your luck” Robert warned “Too bad you were never on my side, Gavin, I could have gone easier on you” Robert got into the car and Kyle followed suit, pushing Gavin into the back seat with them, as soon as the door closed the android speed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading, lads!  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter but I didn’t want to rush the ending, so there will be a chapter 9, my lads. 
> 
> cw: for violence in this chapter

Simon waited by the gallery door, growing more anxious by the minute. He had hoped to keep Leo’s little escape a secret; Simon had trusted him to be back on time just like he’d promised. The android stepped towards the exit considering if he should go search for him, but then if he wasn’t back on time, it wouldn’t only be Leo missing the big event, and then not only Carl would be disappointed, but Markus would too. As Simon considered his options a hand landed lightly on his shoulder, he turned around with a smile expecting to see Markus, but encountering the RK900 instead.

“Cain” Simon’s smile didn’t falter, “Are you enjoying the exhibition? Oh, maybe I shouldn’t ask that, this is work for you after all”

“This is, comparatively speaking, more enjoyable than most crime scenes I have seen,” Nines said amiably “If far more dull also”

“Yes, I see how that can be the case” Simon replied distractedly glancing at the entrance again

“Simon? You seem concerned,” the RK900 said “I was wondering if I may be of any assistance?”

“As a matter of fact,” Simon turned to Nines and hesitated slightly “could you call Detective Reed, please? I am sorry to bother you, but Leo said they would be back by now, I have been calling him but I’m not getting any answer” Simon paused, “I don’t think Leo should miss this” it would certainly be a step back in the progress he had painstakingly achieved in the last months with both Carl and Markus

“Yes, of course.” Nines nodded, calling the detective just as the RK200 approached them. Nines directed a cold, haughty glare at him, which the RK200 didn’t seem to notice, his eyes focused on Simon.

“Simon, I have been looking for you everywhere” Markus said with a warm smile “The painting is about to be presented, dad really wants you there, and do you know where Leo is? Dad really wants him now as well”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out” Simon said sheepishly “Sorry, I let him go out with Detective Reed, I told him to be back before 10 because Carl would want him here by then. He promised he’d be back on time”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for” Markus gave Simon a light kiss “but I’m guessing he didn’t come back” Markus wasn’t surprised; this was just what he had come to expect from Carl’s son.

“Well, he’s not back yet” Simon said gently, trying to defend Leo a little, Markus could be a bit too harsh with him at times

“You know Leo isn’t–” Markus paused trying to find a soft way to put it, “altogether trustworthy. Dad will be quite disappointed” _and Simon as well_ Markus thought with a worried frown. He guessed this was going to happen sooner or later, Leo only thinking of himself and behaving without any consideration for anyone else wasn’t knew to him, but it was to Simon.

“I’m a bit worried,” Simon said, sounding exactly like an anxious mother would “This is not like him”

Markus squeezed his boyfriend’s hand comfortingly and gave him a sad smile; he knew how fond Simon had grown of Leo in the last months, but Simon had never seen the worse side of him

“You haven’t known him for as long as I have,” Markus said gently “this is exactly like the Leo I’m used to–”

“Although it is true Mr. Manfred may have been selfish and unreliable in the past, as it is the case with substance addicts” Nines interrupted him firmly “In the time I have been able to observe him, I have noticed that under his current circumstances he is always anxious not to disappoint. His father and Simon are a particular focus of this anxiety and based on his juvenile behavior patterns, which he shares with Detective Reed as most of the time neither of them behaves as a rational, or responsible human adult would, a promise involving both his father and Simon would be something Mr. Manfred would take seriously, and it being important to him, Detective Reed would see to it that he made it back on time. It is my opinion as a professional investigator and not” Nines looked Markus up and down “whatever a RK200 is supposed to be, that Simon’s worries are well founded”

“In your expert opinion, what should we do?” Markus asked seriously, it wasn’t meant to sound sarcastic, but somehow it did. However, it really didn’t matter because the RK900 wasn’t listening to Markus in the slightest.

“I haven’t received an answer from Detective Reed either” Nines continued, easily talking over Markus. Gavin Reed’s natural talent for discourtesy seemed to be rubbing off on him “which isn’t altogether strange, as he tends to ignore any attempt to reach him unless it’s directly from Captain Fowler or Officer Chen. If it’s alright,” The RK900 said softening his tone as he directed his words to Simon “could you transfer Mr. Manfred’s phone number and details to me. I would like to track his phone as well as Detective Reed’s”

“Yes, of course” Simon said readily, pulling the sleeve of his cashmere sweater up and stretching his arm towards the RK900

“Excuse me” Nines said politely with a little nod at him before gripping Simon’s forearm, although the RK900 most definitely didn’t need physical contact to perform any, much less such a mundane sort of data transfer.

“Both their phones are stationary a few blocks from here” Nines said, not letting go of Simon’s arm yet

“So, maybe they are just running late” Simon said, relaxing considerably as they let go of each other. Markus looked less than pleased.

“I will go see what is holding them up.” Nines replied, he didn’t wish to alarm Simon, but he considered the circumstances altogether suspicious.

He sent all the information to Connor as he walked towards the phones current location. The phones had been stationary for a considerable amount of time. The alarm of the device registered to Leo Manfred had gone off at 9:00 PM at which time both phones were at Detective Reed’s home address. After that they moved in the direction of the gallery indicating an intention to return to the exhibition at the time they had agreed with Simon, and then their movement stopped. 

Nines found the phones soon enough, alerting Connor immediately to their ominous ownerless state, by the time he got back to the gallery, Lieutenant Anderson and Connor had informed Captain Fowler, and being one of their own who had vanished, with both Connor and Nines reporting a 99.9% chance of them being taken, Captain Fowler wasn’t shy about displaying the full force of his unit, the only problem was, they didn’t know where to direct it. But the RK900 wasn’t the most advanced android for nothing.

As Nines walked through the gallery entrance, Connor nodded at him in agreement before walking to inform Lieutenant Anderson of their plans.

“Simon, could you assist me for a moment?” the RK900 said, taking hold of Simon’s arm gently and leading him towards one of the storage rooms of the gallery.

“If you need assistance, we should call Markus, he’s a RK unit just like yourself; my system is rather outdated–”

“I only need you not to let anyone disturb me as I search for them” Nines interrupted him, normally he wouldn’t be as blunt with Simon but his calculations were never wrong; he knew their humans didn’t have much time left.

“If that’s the case, no problem” Simon said with a firm nod,

“Don’t worry, I will find them for you” Nines said earnestly as they entered one of the messy storage rooms “I’m certain Detective Reed wouldn’t let anything happen to Mr. Manfred. Maybe you would like to hold on to his belongings, so you can return them to him when he gets back” Nines said handing him Leo’s phone and keeping the one belonging to the Detective in his pocket “The last phone number entered is Detective Reed’s, I’m sure Mr. Manfred would be disappointed if he lost that. Getting that phone number is not an easy task” Nines said actually smiling slightly to Simon. Simon smiled back as he took the phone. 

Nines stood straight and perfectly still, just like the military men cyberlife had used as their inspiration when they designed him, his eyes emptied suddenly, and all that remained was a soulless, but breathtakingly beautiful shell, as the RK900 used his full system capacity to systematically contact androids, asking them if they had seen either of the missing humans, in some cases, asking them to allow him to see through their eyes for a minute, or pry into their memories for a moment. Connor required a physical connection with another android to do that, but the RK900 could bypass it, he was, by far, the most advanced android there was after all. 

 

*:・ﾟ✧

The trunk had that new car smell Leo had never really cared for, it made him feel dizzy, like he couldn’t breathe, and slightly sick, although that may as well be the blow to his head. His head throbbed and his hair felt wet but if it was sweat or blood he couldn’t tell, his arms hurt, still bound behind his back, the vibrations of the moving car made everything that much worse, and he could see nothing but the dark, having his eyes open or closed made no difference.

He’d like to kick and scream until he managed to get someone’s attention, or at the very least he’d love to make a mess of it before they dealt with him, but Leo worried that moving, or making one sound would get Gavin killed, he knew about Robert’s reputation. It wasn’t unusual for people in that world to kill each other indiscriminately in horrible ways but Robert was in a category of his own, if you crossed him and it was impossible to know what would set him off, you’d just disappear, like you never existed, until unidentifiable pieces of you appeared in the kitchens, nurseries, or car seats of the people he thought needed a reminder of who was in charge. Leo didn’t expect to get out of this alive.

Dying like this wasn’t unforeseen; he’d known perfectly well that giving Robert’s name to Gavin meant starting a countdown to this, although at the time Leo had expected to be so high when it actually happened he wouldn’t even notice. All his anxiety then had focused on his dad becoming a target.

Well, he’d definitely be completely awake for it now; sobriety didn’t seem all that great at this moment. He wanted to try and be brave but the worst part of it was the hollow, anxious fear at the pit of his stomach that dragging Gavin down into this mess gave him. 

He should have kept quiet then; he should have known that he wasn’t only starting his own countdown but Gavin’s as well. He should know by now that you really can’t make up for some mistakes, but he could as well try since this was the end anyway, he owed it to Gavin to try to protect him the best he could. So, Leo stayed as quiet and as still as possible while he looked into the dark, trying to stay awake but unsure if he had already passed out a few times, not being able to calculate how much time had gone by.

 

*:・ﾟ✧

Gavin had to admit the douchebags had gone about their scheme with a fair amount of cunning, all of it Robert’s work, since Gavin was sure the other pervert didn’t have enough brains to scoop with a teaspoon.  As Gavin sat in the car, he was aware of Leo, hurt in the trunk, worryingly silent, but at least he was alone in there away from the degenerate, and the unhinged mole set on retaliation.

Gavin had known Robert since they were junior officers. The very first impression Gavin had had of him (and he was fucking glad not even Tina knew this, and she didn’t only because of how short lived it had been) was that he was the handsomest man Gavin had ever seen, like right out of an ad for brand underwear. His immediate second impression was that Robert didn’t look like an officer; he looked like an actor playing a role, the unrealistic ideal of what someone in law enforcement would look like in some ridiculous romance movie made by people who had never set one foot in a real police station.  

He was taller than Gavin, although this wasn’t uncommon, to Gavin’s annoyance men usually were, especially in his line of work, but Robert was also taller that most officers in the precinct, dark hair and eyes, with sharp, elegant features, the light seemed to dim when he was around, not in a good way, not because he was brighter but because he seemed to bring an ominous darkness with him, although that was only apparent once his good looks were overcome, and most people never did manage to go past them.

The way in which Robert held himself made him look dignified and imposing, when they were officers many of the detectives looked down on the rookies, not unlike Gavin himself did now, it was almost a tradition at the precinct to make life a bit harder for the newcomers, but none of them could look down on Robert or tell him _“go make me a coffee, dipshit!”_  they treated him with deference and respect as if he were one of them from day 1, his manner didn’t leave them other choice.

When Robert talked to Gavin he was haughty and self-important, Gavin took an immediate dislike to him after that first misguided second of admiration, and although he would like to think what had alerted him was some shrewd power of insight and deduction; that he’d seen through Robert’s fake façade right through the rotten center as soon as he had opened his mouth, Gavin had to admit it was probably only because arrogant topdog was what Gavin himself was going for, and there was only room for one cocky, condescending asshole at the top of the roost as far as he was concerned.

It wasn’t often that Robert looked silly or ridiculous, but he had been exactly that the day Leo’s coffee had ruined his files and keyboard, the memory never failed to make Gavin smile.  But he didn’t look foolish now; Robert sat, polished and graceful in his black suit, casually pointing his gun at Gavin with the air of the director of some important firm about to have his first morning meeting. In contrast Kyle was obviously high, on red-ice and who knows what else, wearing only a dirty tank top and cargo pants, jittery and stinking of sweat.  

Gavin wasn’t sure which of them was more dangerous. Not sure which would be wiser to attack first if he had a chance, and then there was the android, an AP700 although Gavin didn’t know enough about androids to recognize them by model, Gavin tried to make eye contact with him to assess the situation, but the android only kept driving, looking as empty as they used to before their whole mess, he still had his LED and although Gavin knew nothing of androids he knew blue was good, and red was bad. The AP700’s LED glowed in a still and indifferent shade of light blue all the time. Gavin wondered if the android would crash the car if he tried anything, then he thought of Leo trapped in the trunk and did nothing but look in front of him at the road as the orange street lights shined into the car.

It wasn’t long before they came to a stop in an empty parking lot; the android climbed out walking to the back of the car and opening the trunk. Gavin moved at that, it was a jerk, as he instinctively tried to look out to make sure Leo was alright, and forced himself not to. Robert scoffed at that with mocking disdain, then he nodded slightly to Kyle who opened the door and yanked Gavin out.

The AP700 gripped the back of Leo’s neck steering him into the old building, while the other three followed a few steps behind, Robert had obviously decided Gavin was the real threat, but he seemed to also be keeping an eye on Kyle, whose instability was only becoming more evident by the minute.

Leo and Gavin always thought they would die in a place just like this, if for very different reasons.

Leo had always suspected that sooner or later he would overdose or would be stabbed to death over some minor disagreement (which he’d start himself, most likely), in an abandoned foul smelling place with nonsense graffiti all over the walls. That would be the last thing he’d see and it would mockingly remind him of art and his dad and therefore all of his failures would be the very last thing he’d think about, while Gavin had the possibility of being gunned down in some crack house full of trash always in the back of his mind.

Gavin had endeavored in avoiding that fate for years while Leo only sidestepped it by chance, at least until now.

As they walked through the corridors of the abandoned high school, they both recognized this as the place they had imagined so many times. The dark school halls were a dump, schools seemed to be a magnet for debasers and wreckers once they were left unprotected, as they walked all sort of debris crunched under their feet. There was graffiti on every single wall, messages written with crude letters, some hopeful, some all but, lots of dicks drawn with varying degrees of realism next to artistic, multicolored murals that deserved much better than to be seen by no one as they were slowly covered in black mold, a few cartoonish creatures cleverly made to look as if they were interacting with the environment around them peeking out of a door, or holding up a broken lighting fixture, and finally the most unnerving, weird symbols in what Gavin hoped was brown paint, although he knew It probably wasn’t.

After the halls with the messed up lockers they walked through the big gymnasium, feeling they were walking towards a self fulfilling prophecy, only they never expected it to be this bad, they never expected to drag the other down with them when everything went dark, and although Leo and Gavin had imagined themselves dying so many times the thought of it wasn’t unfamiliar or even altogether alarming, the thought of the other dying made them sick and afraid.

They were led into the roofed swimming pool, still full of water, albeit the nastiest water Gavin had ever seen, you probably could get an infection or a fungus just from looking at it, it resembled a sewer water swamp more than it did a high school pool, there was some sort of green sludge floating in the surface, and you couldn’t see through the muck, except at the shallower end where some chairs and old rusted desks almost reached the surface, it seemed to be human nature to love to throw basically anything available into cast away bodies of water.

They walked the length of the pool, their steps echoing in the big room, until they reached the ladder of the diving board. Once there, Kyle looked at Robert blankly as if waiting for instructions.

“Handcuff him to the fucking ladder, do you need an instruction’s manual for that?” Robert said drily

“With what?”

“Maybe, the handcuffs I gave you and specifically told you to bring”

“I didn’t–” Kyle started to answer, with a sort of uncaring vagueness

“–Forget it” The former detective cut him off “Owen, please, if you would take our one, and only pair of handcuffs off the snitch”

The AP700 did just so, throwing them with easy dexterity to Robert who caught them just as swiftly, Kyle notwithstanding, the two of them were a flawlessly synced team.

“There” Robert said shortly passing them on to Kyle

Kyle closed one handcuff around Gavin’s wrist, looping the other end through the steel handrail of the ladder as the AP700 pinned Leo’s hands behind his back. But Leo thought having his hands free looked like an opportunity, and never being one to think too much or make things easier especially if he was annoyed and angry, he tried not altogether badly to get himself free, he had the bad habit of trusting a bit too much in his talent to wriggle himself out of tight corners. 

Seeing this Gavin followed suit, yanking his handcuffed hand so Kyle would let go of the other end, and then surging forward to get Kyle’s gun, but what Kyle was lacking in brains he had in raw strength, especially when high out of his mind. They scuffled stupidly for a while, Gavin couldn’t grab the gun, and Leo couldn’t really get away from the android before the AP700 managed to pin his arms behind his back again. Robert knew what he was doing, instead of helping Kyle with Gavin, he walked to the android’s side and put his revolver against Leo’s head.

“For fucks sake” Robert said in an annoyed but overly calm tone, like he had forgotten to buy the beans for his espresso machine, “I’m afraid you haven’t understood what your position here is. Let go of the fucking gun, Gavin, or the snitch gets it, and you know I hate repeating myself”

Gavin’s first instinct was to glare at Robert with all the intention of scoffing at him, as if he’d ever fucking listen to a word that fucking prick said, but when he glanced at him, Gavin only found Leo’s apologetic eyes, if he got Leo killed then this was truly over. For the first time in his entire life Gavin did just as he was told, he let go. Kyle yanked him, looping the handcuffs through the handrail successfully this time, before closing it on Gavin’s one free hand.

Once Gavin was secured, the AP700 pushed Leo to the ground, while Robert strode calmly to Gavin, shooting at him once.

“Gavin!” Leo shouted furiously, trying to stand up but being pushed down by the android again, as the bullet graced Gavin’s leg. The detective clenched his teeth so he wouldn’t cry in pain, as the blood from his wound soaked his jeans.

“That’s on you, snitch” Robert said cruelly “If you do anything the other gets it, understood?” he said walking back to where Leo was, grabbing his hair, and yanking on it so Leo would look at him “understood, snitch?”

Leo wanted to spit at him, normally he would, but his stupidity had already gotten Gavin hurt.

“Yeah,” Leo hissed, quiet defiance in his voice. Robert let go of him with a forceful shove. 

The former detective had been the real deal, that’s why he had done so well for so long and would have continued to do so if the snitch hadn’t opened his damn mouth. He knew these two very well; they were impulsive, stupid, and stubborn, enough to put up an irritating fight without any consideration for their well being, and that was always dangerous, you couldn’t predict the outcome if your opponent didn’t care for themselves, there was no leverage if life and death meant the same.

But oddly enough that didn’t apply when it came to the well being of the other. That’s why he had decided to get them together; they were at their weakest that way. It was surprising to discover Gavin Reed had that sort of scruples for anyone let alone a skittish junkie, surprising and very convenient, Robert had not really believed Kyle when he’d told him Reed and the snitch were all over each other, but it seemed to be just so. Gavin Reed had obeyed a command, the possibilities were endless.

“That was quite the icebreaker, wasn’t it? Now that we are all behaving,” Robert’s cold voice echoed in the room, as he made a show of replacing the one missing bullet and closing the cylinder of his revolver “Who is going first?”

“I see you still love the sound of your fucking snotty voice, Bob” Gavin snapped at him, which was exactly why Gavin Reed wasn’t anywhere near Fowler’s first choice for undercover work or hostage situations.

“And you still don’t know when to shut up, Gavin” Robert said, walking towards him and raising the gun.

“Hey!” Leo said, from his place on the floor still at the feet of the android but not daring to move much “Hey! It’s me you wanted, right? I was the one who snitched on you, right? You can kill me if you want, I don’t give a fuck, but let Gavin go he was only doing his job” Leo said, as if that changed anything

“Shut the fuck up, Leo!” Gavin barked, “Can’t you stop talking shit for one fucking minute!” he yanked at the handcuff’s chain. The whole place was fucking rotting, but the handrails and the ladder were still as sturdy as the first day they had been put in use. Gavin pulled at it with all his weight, looking like a desperate dog trying to get free of his chain, but nothing happened, the handcuffs only started cutting at his wrists, blood trickled down his arms but Gavin didn’t notice.

Robert looked at Gavin for a second and smirked. It was a shame they didn’t really have the time to play a lot with them. That had been his mistake, but he hadn’t know if Kyle’s information was true, he could have betted it wasn’t, now seeing this he was sorry he hadn’t made more time for this.

So, the one who would suffer the most would be the second to die, and although Robert was indeed annoyed with the snitch. The stupid, worthless, good for nothing junkie had ruined everything, and what was Robert supposed to do now? Become a fucking dealer? Absolutely not.  Maybe they should take his savings, Owen and him could go to Europe, start a H. H. Holmes murder hotel kinda deal. Owen would like that. But he digressed, regardless of the grudge he had towards the junkie, it was nothing at the thought of making Gavin Reed agonize as much as a human could. 

“Of course, we can start with you, snitch” Robert said understandingly, walking back to where Leo was

Leo only glared angrily at him not moving one inch as Robert raised the gun and pointed it right to his face, he didn’t even put his hands up, to stupidly try to shield himself. He had to give it to the junkie, he’d seen men twice his size whimper, beg and back away at the sight of imminent death. It was Gavin the one who made all the noise, still stupidly trying to free himself.    

“Wait a fucking minute” Kyle said, from his place near the ladder “You said I could have him before you did whatever with him, the deal wasn’t for a corpse, I’m not a sodding pervert”

“Right! I was forgetting about you” Robert said amiably, casually turning the revolver on Kyle and squeezing the trigger. The bullet went right through Kyle’s eye, he didn’t even have time to register surprise or anger before his body fell limply to the ground a few feet away from Gavin.

“I don’t like wild cards, nor do I care for absolute incompetence” Robert said with the same tone he’d use to say he didn’t care for anchovies, scrunching his nose slightly. Meanwhile, the android showed emotion for the first time, he smirked, his LED still a pale blue

“You can have that one later, Owen” Robert said to the android with the same casual carelessness “I know dead ones are not much fun–” he said in an apologetic tone, as if he were telling his date he was sorry he hadn’t gotten the premium seats at the theatre.

“I don’t mind” the android said pleasantly “they are good practice”

“Owen here is our first android serial killer,” Robert introduced him with fond pride “He enjoys pulling humans apart just like we have done to them for years, how many have you done so far?”

“57” The android replied with simple pride, a hunter casually showing the animal heads on his wall

“57! Luckily there is a surplus of android hating homeless bums” Robert said “Nobody looks at them”

“You are a human too,” Leo said, 

“Isn’t that a sharp observation? I see you like them smart, Gavin” Robert said mockingly “Owen was my android, who has time to do the washing or cooking when you have the entire police force to wind around your little finger, but you can’t live in a pigsty, so I got Owen, best investment of my entire life” Robert gestured towards the AP700 and the android nodded, seemly well pleased with the compliment

“Then they started to wake up and the higher ups always so irritatingly short sighted asked us to put them on their way to the recycling camps, but I wasn’t about to give Owen up, are you kidding me! I hid him, but those military idiots were set on getting every single one, can you believe they tried to beat me up when I wouldn’t let them into our apartment? I ordered Owen to stay hidden, but he disobeyed me. Needless to say they were number 1, 2 and 3. After that he was a bit different, better, just like a human, a partner, a loyal companion that was interested in my work and my hobbies, which he had been following closely since I got him. We discovered we could make a pretty decent team, didn’t we, Owen?”

“We aren’t half bad” The android agreed with a small smile

“Owen is pretty feed up with humans, I can’t blame him, fucking androids this, fucking androids that, sounds familiar Gavin?” Robert said gloatingly “Pathetic people always blame something else for their problems, sorry to tell you, you shouldn’t be the one to talk, Gavin, you didn’t have that many fans among our coworkers, most of us were completely sick of you” Robert said conversationally, stopping over Kyle’s body and taking his knife. He walked back to Leo “So anyway,” Robert said “that pervert took that bullet for you. It was for the best; that was way too fast, painless even; he didn’t even know what happened. I don’t want you to go fast, snitch, I couldn’t believe it when I found out a worthless junkie like you had destroyed my life”

“So if it was me, just let Gavin go” Leo insisted

“That’s cute, but it’s because of him that we are here, isn’t it snitch?” Robert said “I’m certain you wouldn’t just go and open your mouth, you are not quite that stupid, but our good Detective here knew just what to say to get it out of you, why not, it probably gave him quite a few points towards a promotion, anything to climb that ladder right, Gavin?”

Robert handed the knife to Owen, and took his phone out of his pocket. He touched the screen nonchalantly; as if they were just friends at a party.

“ _I’ll send someone to your dad’s house. I’ll plant myself in front of it 24/7 if that’s what it takes.”_ The ghost of their two year old dialogue floated out of Robert’s phone and echoed weirdly around them, it took Gavin a moment to recognize it was the recording from the day he had interviewed Leo, and had convinced him to give him the mole’s name “ _No one knows you know or you’d already be dead”_

“You always loved to be right, Gavin” Robert grinned “and you are right again, our little snitch here has been dead since the day he gave you my name, it was going to catch up with him sooner or later, but you aren’t stupid, you knew that, but what’s the life of an useless junkie next to a promotion, especially with the android detectives pottering about. You probably didn’t expect to go down with the snitch yourself, but two for one isn’t a bad deal. Besides, I never could stand you”

“The feeling is fucking mutual steaming pile of shit” Gavin spat

Robert ignored him. Owen handed him back the knife and Robert squatted next to Leo while the Android stood behind him, if Leo tried to scoot back he’d only find the android’s legs. Robert grabbed Leo’s arm and cut into it haphazardly. He drew the knife along Leo's arm cutting through all the old, pale scars Leo himself had put there. It wasn't a deep cut, it was only meant to be painful and draw out some blood. Leo hissed, but he tried not to look scared or in pain, he glared angrily instead.

“That look is really annoying me, what do you say snitch, should we gouge your eyes out?” Robert said, placing the point of the knife’s blade next to Leo’s eye, drawing a drop of blood from the thin skin around it.

“Fuck you!” Leo hissed, even though his voice shook. Leo looked towards Gavin, thinking Gavin was the last thing he’d want to see. Their eyes met for a second, before the detective got back to his frantic yet useless struggle against the handcuff chain, which managed nothing but make a desperate, screeching sound as the chain clashed against the steel banister.

“Gavin, I would appreciate it if you stopped making such a racket, I can’t concentrate. I’m only taking back what you took from me; remember those stupid cats you got from the trash before I was done with them? Only you would dig through garbage” Robert huffed a small amused laugh “When we are done with you two, we’ll go get those back, disgusting vermin” Robert stopped then, and looked at the pool “You know what? That just reminded me, I grew up in a farm, once or twice a year we’d gather all those revolting things making those pathetic whiny noises, put the pests in bags to drown. That seems like the exact thing for you, snitch”

Robert stood up, and walked with his elegant stride and all the calm in the world to one of the piles of debris, looking through it as if picking the right tool, until he found it, some rope and a big concrete block. The android took hold of Leo, as Robert tied one end of the short rope to the block and the other to Leo’s ankle. Leo tried to kick him away, Robert pushed down on his leg harshly.

“If you don’t stay still, I’m going to beat Gavin with the block until there’s nothing left of that stupid head of his, alright” Robert said seriously, looking Leo right in the eyes.

Leo breathed in a shaky breath knowing he’d sound fucking stupid but he had to give it a try

“Could you, please, let Gavin go?” Leo said softly “I know you can hide, he wouldn’t find you” Leo said, two unwelcome tears escaped his eyes as he blinked.

Robert didn’t reply as he finished tying the block to Leo’s ankle with a firm knot.

“You can start with Gavin now” Robert said to the android, handing him the knife, enjoying that Leo would also know Gavin was about to die a very painful death. He took the block, lifting it effortlessly and started walking towards the pool, dragging Leo behind him in the filthy floor, while Owen went to Gavin.

“Are you going to let him do this?” Gavin said, as Leo was dragged to the pool. Trying to do the thing he was the worst at, negotiating, with a life form that didn’t even exist two years before and he didn’t understand “You can dismember me alive I don’t give a fuck, but he’s that prick’s brother, fucking whatshisname,” Gavin kicked himself “–fucking Marcos or whatever! I saw it on tv, all of you jumped in front of bullets to protect him, he won’t be pleased you let his brother be drowned” 

“Why would I care about what Markus wants?” the android huffed offended, grabbing at Gavin’s arm, pulling at it until his shoulder popped painfully out of its socket. Gavin tried not to scream, but he did as his vision blacked out slightly and all he could feel was sickening pain “If you dislocate it is easier to cut through” the android explained calmly, as if he was telling him the best ways to cut fish. 

“No! Don’t fucking touch him!” Leo shouted scratching at the floor, trying to kick and fight Robert’s pull, skinning his hands raw as he did so, while he was being dragged by his feet towards the 12 feet deep diving well “Gavin!” Leo shouted, It wasn’t a cry for help, it was the visceral, furious, anguished cry of someone who wanted to protect something they loved and couldn’t.

Gavin’s name was the last word Leo said before he heard a splash, he barely registered the pain around his ankle when the slimy water went over his head. He held his breath, uselessly trying to reach for the knots, to somehow free his foot as he sunk, but his red-ice torn lungs didn’t give him much time, soon enough they complained and he breathed in the dirty water. Terrified panic was all he registered then, and before it all went dark, his last thought was hating himself because he couldn’t do anything to protect Gavin.

As Leo sunk in the pool, Robert walked back to the ladder, uninterested in seeing the slimy bubbles that were the junkie’s last silent scream, while the android continued talking to Gavin

“Drowning is one of the most painful ways for a human to die” The android said conversationally “Ideal for anyone related to Markus, our people look at him as if he were RA9 himself, but Markus has done nothing but betray all of us,” the AP700 said purposely cutting through the sleeve of Gavin’s v-neck sweater, not caring if he cut his skin as well as he did so “someday everyone will see–“

The android stopped suddenly. He frowned and turned his head slightly to the side as if he was hearing something that confused him, his LED changed for the first time from that still blue to yellow and then solid red, and his posture became an uncomfortably rigid one, as if he were a puppet made by an amateur puppeteer that had not mastered a natural flow of movement, only getting something that looked forced and stiff instead.  

“Detective Reed” the AP700 said, Gavin stared at him for a second

“Get a move on, dipshit” The android said in a familiar monotone if in an unfamiliar voice, reaching for the handcuffs

“Don’t, no time” Gavin shook his hands away the best he could with his useless arm, not even trying to comprehend how Nines was possessing the psychopathic tin can “Leo is in the pool”

Nines nodded from the AP700 shell, his LED still strobing a bloody red; he straightened up and started for the pool but Robert caught him by the arm

“What’s wrong with you, Owen?” Robert said with a confused frown, which only deepened when he saw the red LED.

The AP700’s body didn’t have the strength or speed or any of the abilities the RK900 took for granted in his own, but he still had police training, Detective Reed had forced him to train with him just as a human would.

Robert reached for his gun, but hesitated not wanting to hurt Owen, understanding something was wrong, but not getting how. The android twisted Robert’s arm in that moment of hesitation until it made a sickening crack and a sharp piece of his bone pierced through Robert’s skin. He fell to his knees moaning in pain as he clutched the shoulder of his messed up arm, letting go of his gun which the android kicked away from him before he jumped into the pool.

As he did so, the swat team busted in, it was like Gavin’s eyes had a blurry, slow motion filter on, he knew there were officers all around him now, he could hear their shouts, and heavy footsteps, he knew Robert was being taken in, but he couldn’t take his eyes away from the water where Leo had disappeared

“Here!” The AP700 said, emerging from the water with Leo.

Lieutenant Anderson and Connor rushed to the side of the pool to get him. They lay him next to the pool, as the android handed them the concrete block as well, still tied to Leo’s ankle, that wasn’t their immediate concern.

“Don’t let Reed come close, Nines” Hank said somberly as the AP700 came out of the water

“Lieutenant you’ll have to perform CPR” Connor said, as he set Leo’s body in the most optimal position 

“Aren’t you better at that, with the scanner thing and all” Hank said as he kneeled next to Leo

“We don’t breathe, Hank” Connor answered hurriedly “I can’t breathe air into his lungs”

“Fuck, right!” Hank shook his head and immediately started CPR on Leo

“Come on, son.” Hank said softly as he pressed his hands against Leo’s chest, and Connor indicated if he needed to put more or less pressure, and the rate at which he had to perform the compressions.

As they did this, Nines went to where Reed was still trying to get himself free, only managing to hurt himself further,

“Detective Reed, you are only damaging yourself” Nines said seriously  with the stolen voice, he couldn’t wait to get back to his own systems.

“Get me the fuck out of here then!” Gavin barked, his eyes still on Leo. But Nines didn’t think that was optimal, if Detective Reed got free Nines would have the regrettable task of taking him away as the Lieutenant had instructed.

“You can’t go yet, kid” Hank said softly “your mother will haunt me again” He breathed air into Leo and started the cycle all over again, thinking how Gavin wouldn’t come back from this if Leo didn’t wake up, and is if hearing his thoughts that’s when Leo jerked, starting to cough the brown water out.

“Easy, son” Hank said soothingly, helping Leo turn to his side to get the water out. “Everything’s fine”

Leo rolled to lie on his back again, trying to catch his breath “Gav–” Leo said, his red-ice shredded lungs failing him again, he grabbed at Hank’s arm, incoherently hoping that would make him understand Gavin needed help.

“Motherfucking– Shit! What the fuck!” Gavin’s voice echoed off the walls before Hank could even answer, obviously very alive and arguably well, as Nines decided to use his moment of distraction to pop his arm back into place. Gavin was also sick then, but nobody could blame him for it “Phck–“ he said just as loudly as he spat the last of the foul tasting yellow bile.

“Well, there he is” Hank said with a smile,

Leo smiled back letting go of his arm, he was breathing laboriously, feeling like someone was stabbing at his chest

“Okay, you take it easy, kid” Hank said placing one hand on Leo’s forehead as the paramedics arrived to his side. “You go with him, Connor”

“Of course, Lieutenant” Connor said with a nod

“I’ll go check on that other kid, alright, son?” Hank said to Leo.

Leo couldn’t answer much less stand up to go check on Gavin, but he tried to nod, relieved Lieutenant Anderson himself was going to make sure Gavin was alright.  

“I will place the AP700 into custody” Nines said to the Lieutenant as he arrived to Gavin’s side

“The fuck you are,” Gavin said “get me the fuck out of here, fucking–! Dammit–! ”

“We need a damn bolt cutter here! You,” Hank shouted to one of the officers “Get a fucking move on!”

Normally the RK900 could have broken them with his hands like they were nothing more than a paper towel, but an AP700 was only slightly stronger than the average human.

“Fuuuck!” Gavin said savagely pulling at the handcuff’s again

“Stop that, Reed!” Hank said firmly, placing his hand gently on Gavin’s shoulder “We’ll get you out of here in a second, you’d probably like to have your hands when we do”

“The dumbass?” Gavin asked, calming somewhat

“He’ll be just fine” Hank said patting Gavin’s shoulder as an officer finally cut him off the handrail.

Hank and Gavin walked out of the building together, Gavin had refused the paramedics, saying he could walk the fuck out by himself. He limped, his pant leg still wet with his blood, his arm was in a makeshift sling of Hank’s design, his wrists throbbed and stung, but the blood was starting to clot.

Gavin looked around and saw the ambulance, still there, the dumbass in it.

“I’ll be back in a minute” Gavin said

“You should go in there, too” Hank said sternly “You need to let them do a check up, and don’t dare tell me you don’t need it”

“I’ll be back in a minute” Gavin barked back

“I’ll be in my car when you are ready” Hank said, he would drive Gavin to the hospital himself then.

Gavin limped towards the ambulance, looking tired and worn down. He climbed in refusing the help Connor offered him. The android excused himself; saying he had to check a few last details with Lieutenant Anderson.

Gavin sat next to Leo, they looked at each other for a second, while Gavin realized he didn’t know what the fuck to say, but that second was all it took for Leo to throw his arms around Gavin’s neck, hugging him as hard as he could but being very careful not to put pressure on his hurt shoulder. Gavin raised his good arm slowly as if unsure of how this was done. He put his arm around Leo, squeezing him back albeit one armed, trying not to get his blood on the dumbass, not caring that Leo was getting the disgusting water, and some of the stinky goo all over him. They stayed like that for what seemed like a very long time although Gavin suspected his judgment of time was slightly off center.

“Sorry” Gavin whispered softly into Leo’s ear, only for him to hear, before he drew away

“What for?” Leo said looking at Gavin “None of this shit is your fault” he added firmly, taking his oxygen mask off so his words wouldn’t be muffled.

But Gavin wasn’t so sure that this wasn’t his fault. Robert’s words had bothered him. He tried to remember that day in the interview room, what he’d been feeling or thinking. If he had thought Leo was going to be caught eventually just like they had, if he had thought it wouldn’t be his problem when that happened. If he had thought sacrificing Leo was a fair price for winning points (and certainly rub them in everyone’s faces) at the station, if he had thought Leo’s corpse was a good, stepping stone, one that came cheap even. He obviously hadn’t kept him safe, and he couldn’t remember if he had even meant to. Gavin knew he was capable of thinking those things, had thought them of other people alright. He wasn’t sure and he couldn’t keep looking at Leo right now.

“Don’t take that thing off,” Gavin said, tapping the oxygen mask lightly, Leo actually listened and put it back breathing in deeply as Gavin stood up to leave

“Aren’t you coming?” Leo said worriedly “Check your shoulder, and your leg”

Gavin shook his head “behave for one day, dumbass” he said before jumping out of the ambulance, regretting it immediately because he almost fell, he limped away forcing himself not to look  back even once.

 

*:・ﾟ✧

Hank drove Gavin to a hospital, and Gavin stubbornly refused to go in. It had taken a few minutes of back and forth

“You are getting blood all over my fucking car, Reed!”

“Is not like your fuck ancient seats can get any worse, Anderson!”

And for Tina Chen to meet them at the entrance for Gavin to be coerced into a check up, his leg had been stitched up, his wrists disinfected and bandaged. They had taken a radiography of his shoulder to make sure everything was in order there.

He was sent home, because in his own words they’d have to fucking kill him to make him stay in this hell hole, with a now professionally set sling that he’d have to endure for a couple of days, his bandaged wrists that would get him lots of pitying looks at the super market when he reached for the cat litter, a sore leg, and a prescription for painkillers clutched in his hand, this last Tina took from him, letting Anderson drive him home, while she went to purchase them.

They parked in front of his apartment building just as the sky was getting lighter. They went up the stairs, Gavin still stubbornly refusing any sort of help, when they finally reached his door who would be there but his creepy partner, back to himself, looking as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Gavin opened the door and the three of them walked into the apartment, the cats chirping curiously, they weren’t used to so many guests.

 “Damn Reed, how many of these things are there” Hank said taking the cats in “Everywhere I look there’s another one”

“Not enough” Gavin said crashing in the couch, it was weird to think that just a few hours before he’d been here with Leo. He lay there trying to recover some of the calm he’d felt then, with Leo’s fingers comfortingly wrapped around his now hurt wrist. Cricket climbed up with him, which was unusual, normally she let the others do that preferring to sleep by herself in her chair, but his cats seemed to sense when he needed to be comforted. Cricket curled up in the crook of his neck, warming his sore shoulder.

“Could you put some food in their bowls? The wet food is for this one” Gavin said patting the cat’s head tiredly “hers is the bowl with the fish” That must be the most polite thing he’d ever said to Hank Anderson in all the time they had known each other

Hank walked into the kitchen, Nines and Gavin heard him moving around, filling the bowls, and then a high, injured meowing scream.

“I did nothing to you!” Hank complained “I did nothing to it, Reed! Cats are so damn fussy; I just barely brushed your tail, just walked near you and you scream like I nearly killed you” Hank said walking out of the kitchen with Rex following him. “That’s why I like dog’s better, big ones, not these damn feather duster things”

“Connor says, Mr. Manfred is doing well, they’ll keep him in a couple of days for observation” Nines said to anyone who would be interested in that information “his father and brother just arrived at the hospital, he asked for Detective Reed as soon as he was conscious, I let Connor known Detective Reed was being incredibly stubborn and over all a pain to everyone involved. Connor is on his way home now.”

“We’ll just wait for Chen to get here, and we’ll go home too, Nines” Hank said, to whom it may concern.

“I retrieved this from the street earlier,” The android said placing Gavin’s phone on the scratched coffee table “I supposed you would want it back sooner than later”

Gavin scoffed at the sight of it, his battery hadn’t even run out, but it was like years had passed since that evening

“I owe you one” Gavin said seriously, it was meant for both Anderson and Nines, they had saved Leo when he couldn’t.

 

*:・ﾟ✧

Leo didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep, one moment he’d been in the ambulance with Nine’s brother, Connor, was it? and when he opened his eyes next, he was in a hospital room that was a little bit too bright. He hadn’t really minded hospitals when he was little, his mom had to take him to the ER frequently enough that they knew the nurses by their first names, and they always sent him off with a smile “Remember you shouldn’t touch jellyfish” “Listen to your mom when she tells you not to climb too high” But after his mom had fallen ill he couldn’t stand them, the hospital smell alone reminded him of those days and there wasn’t anything he hated more.

Leo tried to sit up but a hand rested lightly on his shoulder and pushed him down gently, Leo looked up to see Simon smiling at him on one side, and Markus and his dad on the other. 

“Lie down for a bit more, Leo” Simon said softly

“Where’s Gavin?” was the first thing out of Leo’s mouth, he looked around the room as if expecting to see him in the bed next to him, but he wasn’t there.

“Detective Reed is doing fine” Connor assured him “I’m told he’s being… slightly difficult, but not more than usual. I’ll go back home now, but feel free to call us if you need anything else, Markus” Connor said with a nod and Markus thanked him.

When the Manfreds were alone, and with Leo’s first anxiety for Gavin somewhat mollified, his second anxiety surfaced.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to not be there, you know, I didn’t do it on purpose” Leo said, he was still disoriented, it made him sound tired and much younger than his years “Are you angry at me?”

Simon shook his head

“Nobody is angry, son” Carl said soothingly “You gave us a good scare, though”

“Don’t worry about it,” Markus added “you’ll be there next time, little brother”

“I don’t have enough energy to fight you right now” Leo complained

“I am well aware of that,” Markus said with a smile “Little brother” he teased again

“I have something for you,” Simon said, offering Leo his phone “you can’t use it here but you may like to have it with you anyway”

“Thank you” Leo said, suddenly feeling very tired. He curled up and fell asleep clutching his phone under his pillow, trying to remember how at ease he had felt earlier, holding on to Gavin while surrounded by all his fluffy, soft cats. 

 

* * *

 Thank you again, Lads! You can also find me [in the blue hell](http://getoutofthewater.tumblr.com/) =w=


	9. Chapter 9

The lights projected over the ice looked like watercolors, Leo skated with ease as if over splashes of blue and purple, he’d forgotten exactly how chilly it could get on the rink and had ignored Wren’s warnings when he’d told him he’d need something more than the thin jumper he was wearing. So he was stubbornly ignoring the chill, he’d get warmer the more he skated anyway.

Leo had met Wren Kerr when they were very small children; they had skated together then, and after meeting at the art gallery they had retaken their friendship as easily as if they had seen each other just a week before. After Leo was discharged from the hospital, Wren didn’t lose one minute getting him on the ice again. It had been so very lucky to meet him again that evening; Leo thought many really lucky things had happened to him that day, regardless of “the incident” that’s how Leo thought of it, maybe it was a response to a need to minimize “the incident” although that sounded a bit too much like something his therapist would say, but even counting that in, Gavin and him getting out of it alive had been incredibly lucky as well.  

A few weeks had gone by since then; he’d been in the hospital only for a few days. Days when he perked up stupidly whenever anyone entered his room, as he pathetically waited for Gavin, only later realizing he was being incredibly selfish. Gavin’s injuries had been much worse than his own, he should be resting not visiting anyone, but Leo still deflated every time someone entered the room and it wasn’t the one person he was waiting for.

Leo hoped his disappointment wasn’t too obvious. Simon was with him often, and Wren brought him little presents to distract him, flowers to brighten up the room and hide the hospital smells, or little games and puzzles to keep him entertained, they started to make plans to skate together and Leo couldn’t wait to be out of the stupid bed and on the ice again, the good sort of ice this time.

Markus and his dad visited when they could, while Lieutenant Anderson dropped by so often the nurses would cheerily say “Your dad is here to see you!” and the one who would enter his room moments after wouldn’t be Carl Manfred but Hank Anderson.

Leo had asked after Gavin the first day, after which the Lieutenant didn’t event wait for the question. He would enter the room already talking gruffly about what Gavin had been up to

“That kid is going to burst his stitches any day now, and he’s drinking more coffee in a day than I do in two weeks” Hank complained, although he had little right to be judging anyone’s diet choices “Anyway, where did I stop yesterday? The dead squirrels in the school’s fridge, wasn’t it?”

Hank said and he went on reinforcing his mistaken identity defaulting to stories about Leo’s mom for the rest of the visit, ruffling his hair and calling him “son” when he said goodbye and once he even said “You really take after her, y’know” with a fond smile that almost made Leo cry, almost because there had been no one there to see it, and if no one saw you cry it was just as if you hadn’t done so. Leo didn’t try to correct the nurses, maybe it was wrong of him, but it only seemed awkward, and if the Lieutenant knew about the mistake he didn’t correct it either.

On the day Leo was discharged, and according to hospital policy the patient had to be taken to the exit in a wheelchair, which Leo blatantly refused

“I don’t want the stupid chair!” Leo complained, and not even he understood why the thought of using it filled him with odd resentment. He was perfectly fine, he could walk to the exit himself.

“Then I’ll carry you out to the taxi like I carry dad,” Markus threatened, knowing exactly what to say to make his brother comply with the rules for once.

“The chair is fucking great…” Leo grumbled as he sat in the chair sulking slightly, and he wouldn’t let Markus wheel him to the exit, Leo wouldn’t have anyone but Simon do that for him.

They returned to the Manor, resumed their normal lives, but maybe it was because he didn’t have anyone to update him on how Gavin was doing, that that’s when the nightmares started. His therapist had warned him, flashbacks and nightmares were normal after what he had gone through, but Leo had not been ready for them.

He’d always wake up, his hands soaked in sweat, and his heart beating so hard Leo was sure this had to be taking years off his life. He’d try to focus on the soft teal light of his nightstand lamp, which he had started leaving on at night so he wouldn’t wake up in the dark, because when he did it made him feel claustrophobic and it took him a terrifying second to realize he was in his own room and not back in the trunk of the car or drowning in the putrid pool. Sometimes when he woke up he could swear he could smell that gross leather stench or the moldy, rotting stink of the water, if it was a vivid enough dream he’d have to get up and take a shower before he could fall asleep again.

But he didn’t really mind those as much, if that was all he would be having an easier time of it. The light of the lamp, a warm shower, and the steady purring of his cat, always sleeping right next to him, calmed him fairly quickly. It was the ones involving Gavin that really upset him, he’d see him die in all sort of ways Leo didn’t like to dwell on but he couldn’t help but to replay them over and over again. Sometimes he’d wake up and not remember what had actually happened right away. After one of those he’d stay awake for the rest of the night, repeating to himself that Gavin was just fine, but he’d remain uneasy and anxious for the rest of the day.

When they were especially bad he’d hold his breath and push the call button instead of only hover over it, only to hang up before Gavin could even pick up. One had disturbed him so much, Leo called twice, and Gavin picked up immediately the second time. That night Leo fell asleep more peacefully than he had in weeks.  

Now, Leo sped up over the ice and took off, spinning in the air to land elegantly backwards on the watercolor ice. A Salchow jump was the easiest in the book but it was Leo’s favourite and this was the first time he had managed a jump of a decent length with a clean landing since he had started skating again, he was about to call to Wren, waiting for his feedback on his form when someone called to him from outside the rink.

“Hey there, Leo!” A cheerful voice called out,

Leo looked up to see Tina happily waiving at him, Nines standing just next to her looking politely uninterested, and Leo’s heart jumped when he saw that just behind them, there was Gavin looking rather annoyed.    

Gavin wasn’t only annoyed, he was fucking furious although being furious at Tina was disorienting. He was so angry he may just black out, that would be just as well, he didn’t need to be here, looking at Leo and Birdbrains together on the ice, beautifully synchronized despite their speed, like a pair of swallows. Gavin could picture the wedding invitations with those stupid birds in them, that guy looked like the type to have idiotic mate-for-life birds on his bird shit wedding invitations, with a fucking stuck-up RSVP card, Gavin could see it so clearly, the thought made him want to gag.

When he left Leo in the ambulance Gavin’s intentions were not to see him ever again.

He went home, and lay on his couch that first day, since he stubbornly refused to go to his bed no matter how much Tina pestered him about it, he didn’t need to feel he was in his fucking death bed, he already felt shitty enough, and Tina needed somewhere to sleep since she insisted on staying to keep an eye on him let’s he fall and break his damn neck, as far as Gavin was concerned this arrangement worked for both of them.

His shoulder and leg fucking hurt. Tina distributed the painkillers as prescribed, they had been through this quite a few times before and they both knew if left to his own devices Gavin would take them as if they were mints, without really thinking about it whenever the pain started to annoy him, the last thing he needed right now or ever was end up addicted to some crap like the dumbass.

And that had been it, his resolution not to think about Leo ever again had lasted for about 12 hours and he’d been unconscious for about 11 of those. Gavin tried to force his thoughts away from the idiot, but he was still lying on his couch, just like he’d been when Leo had held on to him. Gavin considered changing his position, but he really didn’t feel like it.

“Painkiller for your thoughts?” Tina asked with a soft smile, taking a seat on his coffee table

“Thank fuck” Gavin replied, sitting up to take the pill and the glass of water Tina was offering him, but didn’t say anything else

“You two will be okay,” Tina said comfortingly, she didn’t need Gavin to actually tell her where his thoughts were “Want to go visit him tomorrow? I can drive you”

“No”

“Gavin!” Tina scolded punching Gavin’s hurt shoulder

“What the fuck, Tina?!” Gavin barked, as the throbbing sharp pain ran from his swollen shoulder down his arm

“What the fuck, you!” Tina retorted “I know you want to go see him, so why the hell won’t you?”

Gavin played the fifth amendment and said nothing

“I have seen you do this so many times before,” Tina said sternly “treat people like crap until they don’t want anything to do with you, and I haven’t said anything because you didn’t want them around, but why wouldn’t you want to go see Leo?” She nudged his arm

He ignored her,

So, she nudged him again, and again, and again and–

“Fuck sakes, Tina!” Gavin said, trying to scoot away from her but since he was in a couch there was no much elsewhere to escape to “If I see him now, so soon after that shit storm I will say some fucking stupid crap” Gavin said, not looking at Tina, but at Max sitting impassively on the back of the couch, while Cricket purred loudly in the chair next to him and he could hear the others running around, chasing each other and crashing against the chairs in his kitchen as if they were bowling.

“Like what?” Tina asked with a light shrug

“I have no fucking idea” Gavin said tiredly “Some dumb shit, like how scared I was for him, and he was being such a fucking dumbass, telling them to let me go, as if he really thought I would leave him behind with those psychos, fucking moron–“

“That’s not stupid,” Tina said ignoring the way his voice had cracked, nudging him softly once more “That’s really sweet and you should tell him, about time too”

“Whatever, I’m not doing that” Gavin spat, his voice back to his usual sharpness “I’m not seeing that idiot again if I can fucking help it”

“Why the hell not?” Tina asked firmly “Give me one good reason”

“It’s me, Tina” Gavin said flatly, finally turning in her direction with a mean smirk that wasn’t meant for her, “What better reason than that! I’m just going to fuck it up, make it all an ugly, bitter mess, you know that’s what I have done every single time before”

“I know” Tina agreed “but you are better than that now”

“I’m not,” Gavin huffed “all this mess with that fucking psycho is on me–“

“How exactly would that fall on you?” Tina interrupted him shaking her head “and what does that have to do with our current conversation”

Gavin didn’t answer; instead he sunk into a moody silence. Tina reached out for Cricket and placed her gently in her lap

“Tell us” Tina said, nudging Gavin’s arm softly with the cat’s paw, the cat made a cute prrr sound when her paw touched his arm.

Gavin scoffed at them, but Cricket could always make him talk

“I wanted a big break, solve an important case more than anything, and I can’t remember–“ Gavin said scratching the cat’s head “can’t remember if Leo being fucking dismembered or worse was even in the con list, or if I just shrugged it off-“ his voice cracked again, he tried to disguise it clearing his throat

“Gavin” Tina said placing her cool hand on his forehead, and the cat on his chest “I don’t know if you thought that, but if you thought it or not doesn’t really matter, what matters is that when the worst happened you wouldn’t leave him behind, you just said that. Your actions are who you are , not whatever stupid thing you thought two years ago. Your actions do make you a real asshole most of the time, but I, and I dare say Leo agrees with me, we are on your side anyway, so let’s go see him tomorrow” Tina said reasonably

“He’s so much younger than me,” Gavin continued, sounding much lighter

“Now you are only making excuses!”

“When I got my driver’s license he was still building shit with legos, when I entered the academy he was in middle school” Gavin groaned “I should fucking arrest myself”

Tina laughed “He’s almost 30!”

“I’m almost 40–“ Gavin replied “one foot in the stinky old folks home and another in the fucking grave”

“Both of us have a few good years left before that, let me tell you, you are not even going grey yet, and you two go about being a headache just as if you were youths of 19, that more than makes up for the difference” Tina said with a nod “Let’s go see Leo tomorrow” she insisted, knowing Gavin was about to crack

Gavin breathed deeply and sighed “Fine, that dumbass hates being alone, better go make sure boredom doesn’t make him get in trouble” he said with a genuine grin

“It’s a plan!” Tina said

Tina, of course, didn’t let him forget, the next day he actually let her help him get dressed and go down the stairs of his building, so he wouldn’t look that worn out or out of shape, he had the stupid thought that he didn’t want to worry Leo. They made it to the hospital, asked for Leo Manfred’s room number, and then Tina sat casually in the waiting area near the main lobby, taking a magazine off the table.

“Go, go” Tina said waving him away “me and…” she turned on the magazine “and the latest runway collections can be here for hours!”

He huffed and smiled at her before getting on the elevator, a grandmother entered after him, and then no other than Birdbrains, looking carelessly elegant, like out of the soft lumberjack monthly, holding a bouquet of flowers.

“Isn’t that pretty” the grandmother said appreciatively,

“I think so too” Birdbrains said cheerfully “I hope they brighten my friend’s day a little, he really dislikes hospitals” he took one of the dahlias from the bouquet and offered it to the grandmother

“Oh, that’s so kind, but you don’t have to, it’s such a pretty bouquet, you shouldn’t disarrange it”

“Leo won’t mind” Birdbrains said with a smile

“I hope he doesn’t have to stay for long” the grandmother said kindly as she walked out on her floor

When the doors closed Birdbrains turned to look at Gavin as if considering if he should give a flower to him as well

“Don’t fucking bother” Gavin spat, conscious of looking half dead, the bags under his eyes, which were pretty noticeable on a normal day looked almost like black eyes. Gavin saw his own reflection next to the lost heir to the crown of some small autocratic nightmare, next to whom he looked crude and haggard.

Birdbrains chuckled as if genuinely amused by his answer as the elevator stopped on Leo’s floor, Birdbrains got out but Gavin remained where he was

“Isn’t this your floor as well?” Birdbrains asked helpfully “Do you need help? Should I call someone for you?” because of course he was working his way up to sainthood

“Don’t fucking bother” Gavin repeated not moving from his place, pushing the button to go back down

Birdbrains didn’t insist after that, he went on his way with a nod. Gavin slammed the button to close the doors rather impatiently, they were about to do so when a hand stopped them, and they opened to reveal the world’s most insufferable prick.

“Detective Reed” the prick said, not sounding surprised “This is Leo’s floor, room 405”

“So?” Gavin replied acidly “I’m going down, don’t make me waste more fucking time, aren’t you machines supposed to be efficient or whatever”

To Gavin’s surprise the prick actually got in the elevator, the two of them reached the first floor in tense silence. Gavin strode out, although he felt the pull of the stitches in his leg. Tina still sitting in the main lobby looked surprised, but she didn’t try to make him go back or stay, she followed Gavin out, and so did Markus because leaving was usually the objective of going to the first floor.

Gavin was walking in the general direction of the parking lot, when he turned sharply back to catch up with Markus.

“Hey! Hey you, Plastic Prick!” Gavin shouted at him, that insult had a good ring to it and he hadn’t had much opportunity to use it of late

“Detective Reed” Markus said politely, but sounding slightly feed up

“You are with that old geezer all the fucking time, aren’t you?” Gavin said “when you aren’t trying to fix your fucking android crap, always with him in his stupid as fuck studio or playing fucking chess or whatever the hell, not even your housewife is with the geezer as much”

“Detective Reed, I have to be at a conference in half an hour, whatever this is about, I’m sure it can wait until next time” Markus said trying to be reasonable,

“It fucking can’t” Gavin spat

Markus looked at Tina for support but she only glared at him rather coolly. Tina was guilty of enabling Gavin quite a bit, usually intervening only if whatever scene Gavin was causing was about to turn on him, and she wasn’t pleased with Markus who she saw as the reason her efforts to make Gavin get to where he should be were wasted.

“Yes, I spend time with Carl” Markus said fatly when he saw he was on his own, feeling like he should roll his eyes but he was too polite for that

“Why the fuck won’t you let Leo have some of that time, god knows why, maybe because he’s an absolutely moron, but he loves that fucking geezer, he just wants to spend time with the stinky old man” Gavin barked “Can you even imagine how Leo feels in that damn plastic brain of yours, run a fucking simulation or some shit. That fucking geezer is one selfish prick, he won’t go and teach Leo fucking chess or any of that shit, he didn’t when Leo was a kid he sure as hell won’t do it now, so why the fuck won’t you do it”

“Teach Leo chess?” Markus said with a frown, unsure of what the detective was trying to get to

“Yeah, or whatever that old geezer likes” Gavin spat “That wrinkled prick needs to have things his way, have you ever realized that? the only reason why he taught you anything is because you didn’t need to be taught,” Gavin scoffed “Everything was already programmed on your plastic processor or some shit, he only needed to tell you what he wanted you to do, play the fucking piano, or chess or paint some shit and you could go and download it from the internet or whatever the fuck it is you do. When a human would have to spend years on it, when a teacher would have to give them years of patience, you only had to spend one fucking second of the wrinkled dick’s time,” Gavin scoffed “Why do I bother, fucking whatever! Go and be the android god or whatever the fuck, go have them literally shield you from bullets or some shit, as if you were special” Gavin smirked nastily, and scoffed once more at Markus before walking away.

“You okay?” Tina asked once they were in her car “Did you see, Leo?” 

 “Let’s get the fuck out of here, Ina” Gavin said flatly

Tina only nodded and started the car, Gavin rarely used that nickname, but when he did it meant he needed her on his side.

Tina didn’t manage to convince Gavin to go back to the hospital again, but the Lieutenant seemed to be dropping by daily, which Gavin thought very suspicious. Hank would always arrive after noon and loudly tell Connor how Leo was doing, while Connor expressed polite interest in it

“Lor’s boy is looking much better now” The Lieutenant practically shouted as he took off his coat “got some color back”

“I’m very glad to hear it” Connor said amiably “Is he going to be discharged soon?”

“Soon enough,” Hank replied scratching his beard “better safe than sorry”

“Not everyone needs to know your business, Anderson!” Gavin shouted from his desk

“I can do whatever the hell I want, Reed!” Hank shouted back, and then resumed his conversation with Connor, still a little bit too loudly

“Hey! Chris!” Gavin shouted to the innocent bystander “Do you need to hear Anderson yap about how he wastes his time instead of being at work like the rest of us?”

Chris started, looking from Gavin to Hank, “Uhm, well, I’m happy to know Leo is doing well,” he replied somewhat tensely “I really liked him at school actually, even if he was a bit of a loose cannon” he continued with a smile, relaxing into the conversation with the Lieutenant

“Thanks for nothing” Gavin grumbled

The loud conversations continued, and if Connor wasn’t around Chris didn’t fail to ask the Lieutenant how Leo was doing.

It wasn’t much later that Gavin took his arm off the sling, the wounds on his wrists looked like nothing more than scratches, and he could go down the stairs without being in pain anymore, but chronic nightmares kept waking him up every night, at least until the calls started. His phone would light up with Leo’s name, but before Gavin could decline the call himself, the call would be cut off.

“Fucking dumbass…” Gavin said to his phone, trying to focus his blurry vision on the name flashing on the screen

Didn’t the idiot remember he himself had entered his number and name on Gavin’s phone? A plain “Leo” without a last name, the detective stared at the screen, considering if he should call back. He knew he shouldn’t, but what if the idiot had gotten tangled in some other mess? Improbable since he was calling him almost every single night, Gavin was about to put his phone away, when the screen lighted up with the idiot’s name again. Gavin picked up.

“You do know I know it’s you, right, dumbass?” Gavin queried, there was a small pause before Leo replied

“Uhm, kinda, now that you mention it…” Leo said quietly, obviously not in any sort of trouble at all “makes sense…”

A longer pause. Gavin tapped on his phone impatiently waiting for the motive of the call, although Leo didn’t seem to be in any hurry

“What the fuck is it then?” Gavin tried to bark after a couple of minutes, but he only managed to sound groggy and half asleep

“Yeah, sorry, I just… like…” Leo hesitated “had a really bad nightmare…”

“And how is that my fucking problem?” It was just as well dismissive cruelty came naturally to him. Gavin tried not to regret every word that was coming out of his mouth as soon as he said it, after all the objective was sending Leo on his way, the faster the better.

“Right… Uhm…”

“Is that all?” Gavin asked drily “Some of us have work in the morning”

“Yeah, right, okay” Leo floundered “Erm…. Goodnight then!” he ended the call, not waiting or expecting Gavin to wish him a good night back.

“He’s such a fucking jerk!” Leo said to his cat, although his annoyance did nothing to hide the fondness in his voice, the cat opened his bright pumpkin eyes sleepily and huffed softly, he’d already know as much.

Leo curled up in his bed feeling lighter than before, Gavin seemed to be his usual self. He breathed deeply and sighed, trying not to feel hurt, he was being a complete and absolute idiot, there really was no reason for Gavin to contact him at all. Why would Gavin want to see him just because they had gone through that together? That didn’t mean anything, for Gavin it may be nothing more than a really rotten day at the office, no wonder he had all those scars. Leo had only recently noticed the one running across the back of his neck, as if someone had gone for it and tried to behead him, no wonder he had all the accompanying personality issues too.

What had he expected? For Gavin to visit him at the hospital with worry in his eyes? For Gavin to fuss over him and maybe even spoil him a little? For Gavin to comfort him? Leo was actually glad Gavin hadn’t asked anything about the nightmare, Leo really didn’t even feel like talking about it, certainly not to Gavin, when Gavin was the main character and he didn’t make it out of it alive. It had been stupid to call him all those times, but actually hearing his voice had made him feel better, Leo curled up, and fell asleep thinking of Gavin’s voice.

But still after hearing him, Leo kept thinking he wanted to see him, only once, just to make sure he was alright. That the Lieutenant’s stories or his groggy voice on the phone weren’t like, a conspiracy.

Leo lying back on his bed grabbed his phone again and after hovering over Gavin’s name for a very long time he wrote a text

“ _Hey, could I drop by your place?_ ”  

Leo showed the message to his cat, “How does this sound, Leo?” his cat blinked slowly at him, sitting owlishly at the foot of his bed. “Yeah, it sounds weird, right?” Leo agreed “Like I think just because he let me in once I can walk in and out as I please” Leo frowned and wrote a second text.

“ _Hey, could I drop by the station to see you?_ ”

“Is this better?” Leo asked his cat again, to which the cat replied with his odd gurgly meow. Leo had asked the vet about that, there wasn’t anything wrong, his cat was just a tiny bit weird

“Yeah, it’s stupid” Leo said starting to delete his message, dropping his phone on his face midway  “Fuck.” Leo rubbed his nose as he retrieved his phone “Oh. Fuck.” Leo said when he saw he’d accidentally sent the incomplete “ _Hey, could I drop by the station t_ ” and he felt butterflies in his stomach when immediately after the _‘read’_ notification appeared under his message but minutes, hours, days passed by and Leo didn’t get a reply.

Leo started walking to Gavin’s apartment building almost every day after that, or at least he tried to get there, always deciding it was better not to bother Gavin, who was probably really busy. But as the days went by Leo had started to imagine Gavin was actually dead and everyone was hiding it from him. It was a paranoid, obsessive, intrusive thought, and he knew he was being irrational, but he had to see him, only once would be fine, just to make sure. Leo decided he’d go to the station, he could pretend he was there to see the Lieutenant.

Leo stood in the foyer of the Detroit Police Department, like a fool, trying to gather enough courage to ask the receptionist for “Detective Reed”, he clutched his eleventh month chip in his hand, Gavin had said he’d swap the 10th month one for it, right? That was a good reason to be here, right? Or maybe he should ask for the Lieutenant as he had first thought, or maybe he could just ask if “Detective Reed” was working today, ask if he could take a peek at his desk, he just needed to know he was there, he didn’t need to bother him,,

“Leo!” Chris broke Leo’s train of thought with a friendly pat on his back

“Hey, Chris!” Leo said happily. He’d always liked Chris, although the now officer had been too much of a straight arrow to really hang out together when they were at school

“Looking for Detective Reed?” Chris asked with a knowing but kind smile

“No, not really…” Leo faltered “Well… actually… you know…” he mumbled with a shrug

“He’s not in today,” Chris explained “Captain Fowler has been forcing a few extra days off on him”

“He must really hate that”

“And the rest of us pay the price,” Chris said with a big smile “Last week Captain Fowler himself dragged him out and put him in a taxi back home, I can send you a video”

“So, he’s like, okay?” Leo hoped he didn’t sound too worried.

“Is he ever!” Chris said lightly “I’m sorry,” he added apologetically “I know you two –“ Chris came to a stop realizing he actually didn’t know anything, although he had a few theories “Want to leave a message?” he changed course to avoid collision with any of Detective Reed’s personal life

“Uhm, I don’t think so,” Leo said feeling self-conscious “I only wanted to see if he was doing fine”

Chris frowned “You haven’t seen him since–“

Leo shook his head

“He’s fine” Chris said, patting Leo’s shoulder to reassure him “He isn’t even limping anymore, but he is crabbier, but that’s probably because –“ _He hasn’t seen you_ , was what Chris brain told him to say. He was used to be rather straightforward and light with his friends.

“Because of the mandatory days off the captain is giving him?” Leo added, providentially

“Yeah,” Sure, that sounded about right,

Chris wasn’t a good liar, he’d been hard pressed all the time Detective Reed had been working at the Manor, everyone at the station thought the Detective seemed slightly more approachable, or at the very least not as prone to shoot you in the face for not refilling the coffee maker.

Naturally everyone speculated about it and most of the station reached the conclusion (which being a place full of detectives didn’t make them look great) that it must be Nines’ influence, although how they couldn’t understand, if anything Detective Reed’s misanthropic tendencies seemed to be rubbing off on the android and Nines wielded them with a sort of devastating finesse that was all his own. Gavin Reed may shoot someone for buying decaf, but Nines went right for the lifelong psychological trauma.

Chris thought he could solve the mystery for them, but he didn’t have a death wish. Now, he hurried to direct the conversation to a truthful elsewhere.

“He’ll be in tomorrow, if you want to come back then” Chris said

“No, I don’t think so…” Leo shrugged, feeling lame “Anyway, thank you, Chris” he said turning to leave, obviously disappointed

“Leo!” Chris called after him. Chris rubbed the nape of his neck nervously, hoping he was doing the right thing “I have worked with Detective Reed for almost 10 years, and for what that’s worth– what I meant to say is, Detective Reed is really, really bad when it comes to people…” Chris sighed, not wanting to over step, after all he really didn’t know anything, he only had a bunch of suppositions and assumptions based on what he’d seen.

“Wait a second, I’ll show you something” Chris took out his phone, accessing the station’s database with his password, searching for the dash cam footage of his and Officer Chen’s patrol car.

“This is from last year,” Chris said tapping the screen and clipping only a few seconds of footage for Leo to watch, “like a month or so before the android revolution” he said handing Leo his phone.

Leo stared at the phone with a slight frown trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Leo recognized the entrance of his apartment building. Tina walked into the frame, followed by Gavin and if Leo could believe his own eyes, Gavin was carrying him, Leo looked at himself, completely out of it and slumped against Gavin’s shoulder. Tina opened the door for them, and then walked back to the car, while Gavin went inside, carefully carrying Leo in his arms; at least it looked like that, as if Gavin was being really careful. The clip looped.

“I don’t get it” Leo said with a confused huffed laugh “I don’t remember this”

“You were in really bad shape, that guy, the one that died,” Chris tried to explain, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Leo with too much information, or remind him of that day “he must have given you something pretty strong, but Detective Reed got you”

Leo hazily remembered talking to Kyle in the bar; he knew he had been far too gone even then and he hadn’t cared, his next memory was waking up in his apartment. When he opened his eyes, with some effort because his head throbbed and the light hurt, he was lying on his own couch, in his own apartment, nothing seemed out of place, he felt really hangover, sure, he must have had a really bad trip, but that was all.

He had been stupidly glad he had had the presence of mind to move his books to the shelves and slightly weirded out by the glass of water on the table; he’d never done that before. But he’d been relieved at having outrun Kyle again, somehow, even if the last thing he remembered was talking to him, he was absolutely positive he had gotten away, because if he hadn’t he wouldn’t have made it home ever again. Leo would have never dared imagine it was Gavin that did all of it

“Detective Reed is really bad even at the most basic levels of interpersonal interaction –“ Chris said

“I know” Leo said huffing out a fond laugh, returning Chris’ phone to him

“And it’s only my opinion,” Chris continued with a smile “but that doesn’t look like someone who doesn’t care about you, so, come back soon” he said with a shrug

“Okay, alright,” Leo said perking up considerably “Thanks, Chris!”

“No problem,” Chris patted his shoulder again “Uhm, maybe don’t tell him I showed you thought,” he added sheepishly

“No worries” Leo replied with a small smile “I saw nothing”

Leo didn’t go back to the station however, he walked half way to it a few times, always chickening out, the station with all of Gavin’s coworkers around didn’t seem like a good place to try to talk to Gavin after a while, definitely not after what Chris had showed him, but Leo didn’t think he could go to his apartment either. It was like a stalemate, right? Markus had been teaching chess to him so he could play with his dad. He was stuck and he couldn’t move without feeling he’d mess everything up if he did. So he tried to distract himself, he went to his doctor appointments and to group therapy, he went with Wren to the ice rink almost every day, and while he skated he tried to figure out what he should do next.

While Gavin knew exactly what he wanted to do next, forget about Leo and everything that had happened as he had first intended. He didn’t pick up any other of his calls, he left the one text unanswered and he focused all his energy on his work, just as he had always done, even when Fowler insisted on giving him free time he didn’t want or need. He was absolutely fine, he wasn’t “on edge” he didn’t need anything less than to “take it easy for a while”

It was in one of those forced days off that Tina said they should go hang out somewhere, get some fresh air, and he, like an idiot, had agreed. Tina drove for a while as if unsure of where they should go, Gavin didn’t care about the destination so he paid no attention. Tina’s phone chirped and the GPS of her car lighted up. It wasn’t until they entered the ice rink, and Nines was standing there as if he were waiting for them, that Gavin started to suspect he was being cornered into something.

“I don’t know how to fucking skate, Chen” Gavin said drily “If you think I’m going to fall on my ass, especially in front of Jeeves here” he pointed at the android “they have recording devices for eyes like perv–“

That’s when he saw Leo, flying over the ice next to Birdbrains. Gavin shook his head irritably

“This is too much even for you, Chen!” Gavin said in a low angry growl

“Just go down there and talk to him Reed!” Tina said back, never one to back away from Gavin’s hissy fits

“For what?” Gavin spat “He’s there with Fucking Prince George!”

“I’d reckon Mr. Kerr is much better looking than Prince George” Nines interjected unhelpfully “As humans go that is”

“Is he paying you?” Gavin snapped at him “Are you in his fucking PR team?”

“Nines,” Tina chided “Gav here needs support”

“Support?” The android turned his cold gaze on the detective “Leo Manfred has been known to be less than wise and logical regarding his life choices” Nines said matter of factly “That character flaw may as well work to your advantage”

“There!” Tina added cheerily “You may win him over yet, if you just get your head out of your ass!”

“Chen!” Gavin barked through his teeth

“Reed!”

They stared at each other, Gavin was clearly angry at her, but never mind that

“Fine! You’ll thank me later,” Tina said lightly, turning to the ice rink “Hey there, Leo!” Tina shouted waving happily at him

“Tina!” Leo waved back “Come skate with us”

“Maybe next weekend! I gotta rush back to the station now, but I’ll leave Gav with you for a second, Okay!”

“What the fuck, Chen?” Gavin growled at her again

“Talk to him once and I won’t bother you again about it” Tina said firmly “We are taking the car so, see you later” She patted his arm airily

“You have been at your worst, Detective.” Nines added “Working with you has been, of late, more unbearable than usual. We are trying to do what’s best for everyone,“ Nines paused “except maybe for Mr. Manfred” he said simply before following after Judas.

Gavin stood there, he could just walk out, that they had duped him into this didn’t mean he had to go through with it, but Leo had already skated to the edge of the rink, and was looking right at him with those stupid eyes of his and his stupid face, as if he were expectantly waiting for him. – Phck!

“Hey,” Leo said, sounding shy and hopeful when Gavin approached the rink, not that Gavin noticed, being busy as he was trying to think of something to say before Leo could ask him why he’d fucking ghosted him

“It’s fucking freezing here and you are only wearing that?” Gavin barked

“Uhm, It’s a sweater, it has long sleeves” Leo argued, ending his statement in the most unconvincing way with a sneeze

Gavin scoffed, “I don’t give a fuck if it stinks you are wearing it” he took off his leather jacket and placed it over Leo’s shoulders.

Leo looked up at him, with what anyone who saw him in that moment recognized as the adoring look of someone who is hopelessly and irreversibly in love, and Gavin who always read him so easily would have noticed right away, just as Leo had feared before, but as the detective’s hands placed the jacket over Leo, his eyes were looking beyond him to Wren, making his way to them, gliding carelessly as if floating over the ice, the fucker.

“Leo, my love!” Wren said cheerfully “how many times did I tell you to put on your jacket!”

“Yeah, yeah, you always know best!” Leo rolled his eyes in a familiar joking manner “This is Detective Gavin Reed” Leo said proudly, not that Gavin noticed that either, busy as he was glaring at Wren for no good reason whatever.

“I have seen you before” Wren said amicably

“Have we arrested you?” Gavin said wryly, hoping birdbrains would get the hint “Have you been a person of interest?”

“That’s impossible!” Leo said confidently “You would never get Wren at the station, he’s a goodie two shoes, I don’t know how he puts up with me”

“It’s not hard,” Wren said fondly “I’m sure Detective Reed would agree”

Gavin scoffed “Hardly”

Wren chuckled “Wren Kerr, by the way. Charmed to meet you, finally, Leo speaks of you incessantly, can’t shut him up” he said with a toothpaste add smile, stretching his hand to shake Gavin’s

Gavin shook birdbrains’ hand back, firmly… a bit too firmly… he had to establish dominance… somehow… for some reason… Wren didn’t notice, which was a shame, because if he had it would have rather amused him.

“Wren was one of my best friends when we were growing up” Leo explained happily “we took skating lessons together”

“Could never fly quite like he did, though”

“Well you always were freakishly tall and big boned, you know”

“Are your bones hollow then, darling” Wren said, poking Leo’s ribs “is that your secret?”

“Fuck off!” Leo said smiling, playfully poking Wren back, completely at ease and happy to be around someone who showed affection in the same way he did and was clearly very fond of him

“We kinda lost each other when I was like–“ Leo considered it for a moment “11? I think, well before all my shitty red-ice mess anyway”

“I’d think so,” Wren agreed “That’d make me 13, so when I was sent off to boarding school”

That would make Gavin 19 and living out of his car at the time and officially fucking uncomfortable with this whole conversation.

“Wren went to one of those super fancy schools with the funny hats and everything” Leo teased “He’s helping me get back into my skating” he added excitedly

“We’ll have you flying again very soon” Wren ruffled Leo’s hair fondly, just like an older brother would, but Gavin wasn’t noticing the subtleties he’d otherwise have no problem catching on.

“Did you see my last jump” Leo asked Gavin, lighting up “That was a Salchow, and like, it’s the easiest one but I think it’s rather neat”

“That was your best yet, you always had really good form,” Wren complimented “lovely landings–“

“I–“ Gavin interrupted a bit too loudly, not feeling quite like listening to any more of the childhood friends that have found each other after being torn apart by fate diatribe  “ – gotta…” he said gesturing towards an unidentified location behind him, turning his back on them and going straight for the first exit he could find

“Hey! Gavin, wait!” Leo shouted after him, but Gavin strode away pretending not to hear him

“fuck, fuck fuck fuck shit!” Leo said skating to the exit of the rink, almost tripping as he did “Fuuuck, Wren, can you help me get these fucking things off, please!”

Leo’s friend didn’t have to be asked twice, he jumped daftly over the barrier to reach Leo quicker and untied one of his skates as Leo dealt with the other.

“Off you go!” Wren said taking off the skate as Leo finished with the other one

“Thanks!” Leo said as he rushed away “Sorry, I’ll be back in a minute!”

“Take your time!” Wren shouted after Leo, chuckling quietly to himself because he didn’t quite believe Leo’s stories. Leo talked so fondly and proudly of this Gavin Reed, and he was completely smitten, but his stories always described a very rough man, rude and cynic to a fault. Wren thought he had to be missing something, but the famous Gavin Reed was just as advertised.

Leo went out of the rink feeling the cold wind on his face and the icy asphalt through his socks. He slipped his arms through the sleeves of  Gavin’s jacket as he turned right and left trying to find him, soon seeing him crossing the street towards the park, Leo didn’t waste one second and flitted after him.

“Gavin! Wait!” Leo shouted, catching up to him, trying to keep up with his pace. 

“Go back to the damn ice, Manfred” Gavin growled back “The rink one, not the red one, dumbass” the detective thought he might as well make the clarification

“That name again? I said no take backs!” Leo replied with faltering playfulness, all of it finally evaporating when he saw the look Gavin returned “Why, what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything,” Gavin said harshly “It’s on me, alright!”

“What is? I don’t get it!” Leo whined, sounding frustrated and out of breath

“There’s nothing to get, just fuck off, Manfred” Gavin said seriously “I can’t look at your fucking face anymore”

“Gavin!” Leo still followed after him stubbornly, not deterred by Gavin’s dark looks or hash tone in the slightest “I thought –“ Leo faltered “Hey, do you hate me? Is that it?” Leo said, a little bit too fast because he was afraid of the answer and if he didn’t get it out now, he’d never ask and he needed to know.

“Hate you?!” Gavin spat nastily, suddenly stopping and turning to face Leo “You know what, that’s right, I can’t fucking stand you!” Gavin said with an ugly grimace

Leo felt his heart drop to his stomach, and his eyes burn with tears he mustn’t shed, he couldn’t be that dumb and pathetic. He tried to steel himself because Gavin kept talking and Leo was determined to hear it all. If he did his heart would be broken sure, but maybe knowing exactly how disgusted Gavin was when he saw him would help him move on, he tried to pay attention no matter how painful it was, but the more he heard what Gavin was saying the less sense it seemed to make,  and his heart wasn’t breaking but it did start to beat really, really fast.

“ – I hate that,” Gavin was saying, his rant now in full flight “and I fucking hate the way you talk like there’s something really so amusing in even the most shitty story, and how you lean on the table when you are listening to someone talk when it actually interests you, and so many fucking dumb things that nobody else would look at twice interest you. I hate how you curl up when you sleep, and I hate how you walk, is so stupid, you don’t need to move that much, what the fuck is that about? is it because of the skating thing? I hate how you always seem to smell like, I don’t fucking know, lemongrass or eucalypt or some equally ridiculous bullshit, how the fuck can you still smell like that after I pick you up from the sticky floor of a drug house?” Gavin passed his hand through his hair, obviously in delirious frustration

“I hate your voice, especially when you use your soft, cooing one, and your stupid eyes that are so easy to read” Gavin shook his head in exasperation “Keeping myself alive is all I have been doing all my life, they almost killed us, you almost died because I was a fucking stupid moron, and I knew then –“ Gavin stopped so his voice wouldn’t crack, he lowered his tone to have more control over it, keeping it from wavering “I knew that if you didn’t make it out, I didn’t want to make it either and I hate you the most for that!”

“Gavin –“ Leo said, in the gentle tone Gavin allegedly hated the most

“Don’t. Say. Anything” Gavin growled through his teeth “I know you belong with that – guy, calling you love and whatever” Gavin said lamely, he didn’t feel like insulting birdbrains, he obviously cared about Leo a lot “you said so yourself, you don’t have to be kind or let me down gently or whatever the fuck, I won’t be bothering you, but I can’t look at you after that fucking mess,” Gavin spat and strode away

“Gavin, wait. What guy are you even talking about?” Leo said, following after him again “Just, listen!” Leo took a hold of Gavin’s sleeve, and Gavin actually stopped instead of yanking his arm away “before– what happened,” Leo said, dismissing the whole thing with a wave of his hand “I thought we were, you know– getting closer. So I have been waiting for you, but you didn’t come see me. I thought you were busy with work at first, I know how important that is to you, but when I called you, you only seemed annoyed by me, and when I asked if I could go see you, you didn’t answer my text,” Leo’s voice cracked “So then, I figured– I figured you thought better of it, you know, you are a Detective after all, you’ll make Sergeant very soon and then Lieutenant, you’ll get so far, and I’m– just a good for nothing junkie living on his dad’s money”

“Don’t forget fucking whiny and spoiled too” Gavin added, because of course he would

“Sure, I’m a fucking whiny and spoiled good for nothing junkie living on his dad’s money and you are a chronically rude and emotionally constipated workaholic asshole, but I really– you know, I have missed you so much, and I’m– you know” Leo said, giving a little nervous jump “I’m yours– you– jerkface moron!”

“What?!” Gavin said with a confused frown, he took a step towards Leo and he looked into his eyes, holding himself back from tilting Leo’s chin up with his hand “But that guy just–“

“That’s just how Wren talks, you know, love and dear and things, he pretty much talks like that to the postman. You can tell if I lie, right? Am I lying?” Leo asked “I’m yours, I have been for the longest time, you– dense jackass! But I couldn’t tell you, I was afraid you wouldn’t want me, because why would you” Leo huffed his small, bitter, self-deprecating laugh, the only laugh of Leo’s Gavin didn’t care for “And then you wouldn’t want to talk to me at all anymore, and I didn’t want that to happen–“ Leo’s voice cracked again but he looked up and held Gavin’s gaze.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, until Leo gathered the courage to lean up; very slowly, closing his eyes and actually holding his breath, afraid that he was misunderstanding everything, that the next thing he’d know would be that Gavin was pushing him away, but instead the next thing Leo felt was Gavin’s hand tenderly holding his face, his calloused fingers gently tracing Leo’s jaw line, tilting his chin up, and then Gavin’s lips on his. Leo threw his arms around Gavin’s neck, softly pulling Gavin to himself as If he couldn’t be close enough, and kissed him deeply.

Gavin almost smiled into the kiss, because it was so messy and obviously starved, slightly desperate too, but it had an understated sweetness to it, and it was completely sincere, all of which made it very much like Leo. It didn’t say ‘ _be mine_ ’ as much as it said ‘ _Let me be yours’_

Gavin returned the kiss in kind, just as hungrily, he had waited too long for it, had imagined how Leo would taste too many times not to give in, so he kissed him back just as deeply, feeling Leo tremble slightly in his arms when he caressed his delicate neck as they kissed. Leo hummed into his mouth and pulled him even closer. Gavin could hardly believe someone as earnestly sweet as Leo wanted to belong to him, and only knew it was actually happening because it was so much better than anything Gavin had ever imagined or dreamed before.

When they reluctantly broke apart, Leo looked up at him, Leo was prettily flushed as if he had been walking in the cold, and there were stars dancing in his eyes, just like Gavin knew he’d see when he first heard about the birdbrained motherfucker Leo had fallen so hard for, and all of it was for him.

“You are a fucking mess” Gavin said in a soft loving way, as he ran his finger gently along Leo’s nose making him smile

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Leo replied smiling softly, leaning up to get another kiss, Gavin was more than happy to comply. Gavin slipped his hands under his own leather jacket, daring to go under Leo’s sweater to trace his spine with his fingers.

“Your hands are cold!” Leo said breaking their kiss with a little, happy gasp, nestling himself into Gavin’s arms.

“Fuck, sorry, got carried away,” Gavin took his cold hands out of Leo’s sweater, hugging Leo to himself, “I have wanted to touch you for too long” Gavin said in a very low voice, the one he used when he said something only for Leo to hear

“You can touch me all you want,” Leo said unashamedly, softly running his fingers over Gavin’s scar like he’d always wanted to, still surprised Gavin wasn’t swatting his hand away “You haven’t wanted that for longer than I have, though” Leo added, because being argumentative was his nature

Gavin Scoffed “I’m sure I have, dumbass”

“Since when, jackass?”

“That day in the interview room”

“Why” Leo laughed “I was a fucking hot mess”

“When aren’t you?” Gavin actually teased

“Shut up!” Leo huffed “you know, after that I saw you once in front of my dad’s house, you looked so fucking terrible, like you had slept in your car for weeks, and then I thought that was probably pretty much what you had been doing, and that knocked me down silly,” Leo thought for a second ”I had a crush on you well before that though, so I win!”

Gavin smiled, letting the dumbass win this one. Leo didn’t need to know right away exactly how long Gavin had longed for him. Gavin hugged Leo again hiding his head in the crook of Leo’s neck and breathing in

“You smell so fucking good, I hate it” Gavin said, and Leo laughed his delighted laugh, and then sneezed. Gavin straightened up meaning to tell Leo they should get out of the cold when he noticed the dumbass’ feet

“Where the fuck are your fucking shoes?” Gavin asked

“Oh! Back at the rink” Leo said with a small shrug “I could barely take my skates off, if I had put on my shoes I would have lost you, you know”

“Let’s go then,” Gavin sighed “Fuck, Leo, if you get sick I’ll fucking kick your ass” he said wrapping his arm across Leo’s shoulders as they resumed their walk, even giving him a light kiss on his temple. Gavin wasn’t used to display affection in that way but he knew that was the way Leo understood the best, and he was rewarded for it by Leo squeezing himself to him.

Leo did get sick, it was a small cold, nothing to worry about, but everyone at the Manor did their absolute most to keep him warm and indoors so it wouldn’t progress into something worse. Being in house arrest wasn’t all bad, his dad played chess with him although Leo hadn’t been able to win even one match yet, Simon bribed him making some of his favourite desserts so he wouldn’t be as annoyed at being cooped inside, and the best was that if he fell asleep in the evening many times he’d wake up to find Gavin napping next to him, Leo loved to cuddle up to his chest and fall asleep again.

Leo had so many places he wanted to take Gavin to, he wanted to do stupid things for his boyfriend, like take coffee to him at the station, or take his boyfriend to the ice rink so they could skate together, or surprise him with dinner sometime, although all Leo knew how to make was french toast, but it was a pretty mean french toast… he really should ask Simon to teach him how to make something else… he texted Tina asking what Gavin liked best.

The smoky cat jumped on the window seat where Leo sat cross legged watching the snow outside, with Gavin’s leather jacket over his shoulders, the cat curled up on his lap as Leo made plans, looking up places on his tablet where Gavin could like to go. Leo’s sentence ended this weekend and Tina and him had already planned a double date, to like one of those dusty flea markets for bike parts or something, Tina was sure Gavin wouldn’t be as grumpy about it if they did that, and then they would go to the aquarium because Tina’s girlfriend, Chloe, wanted to see all the fish, the weekend couldn’t arrive soon enough.

Leo smiled and perked up when he heard Gavin’s car, in the morning he’d changed the alarm system to add one crucial word and had been waiting all day impatiently for Gavin to arrive.

[ _Alarm Deactivated, Welcome Home, Gavin_ ]

The alarm system said as soon as Gavin stepped inside,

“What the hell was that!”

“Don’t you like it” Leo said cheerily from his place on the window seat

“I’m never getting used to those fucking things” Gavin said with a grimace, walking to where Leo was and leaning down to kiss him, Leo’s cat stretched upwards in an attempt to prevent it, Gavin pushed the cat’s head softly down, Leo’s cat didn’t really like to share him.

“I can change it back if you hate it a lot” Leo said when they broke their kiss “you know, the door thing”

“Nah, I just hate things talking to me” Gavin said climbing into the window seat, placing his legs at either side of Leo “Couldn’t even stand siri on my phone or whatever that shit was”

“Would you like it better if I said it, though” Leo teased

Gavin grinned at him

“No way! Seriously?”  Leo said, pushing on Gavin’s leg gently with his foot.

Gavin scoffed “Don’t be a fool, dumbass”

Leo archived this for later, while Gavin thought it wasn’t at all unpleasant having Leo welcoming him home, the fool always did already, he didn’t need to say the words. Gavin leaned in to kiss Leo again.

Leo always pulled Gavin closer when they kissed, even if it was a light, brief kiss, Gavin adored that. And Gavin’s hand would always trace Leo’s jaw line, even if it was for only a second, Leo couldn’t get enough of that.

Leo’s cat bristled in mild annoyance, jumping out of Leo’s lap and settling comfortably on the couch where he still could keep a watchful eye on him. Really! It was the cat’s opinion that his loved person could do so much better than the moth-eaten man from the pedestrian, unclean parking lot, but humans were really helpless, stupid creatures and what could you do about that.  

 

* * *

Thank you so much for coming with me on this ride, Lads! >:3c

[Neck scar alert](https://getoutofthewater.tumblr.com/post/183844763071) | Lovely art commissioned from [Hearse](https://hehearse.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr [Here](https://hehearse.tumblr.com/post/183728299598/commission-for-getoutofthewater-based-on-their) and [Here](https://hehearse.tumblr.com/post/184388998498/getoutofthewater-commissioned-me-this-adorable)


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